This post, that inspired me into making this post, shows Eddie with his arms crossed. Usually when uncomfortable, unsure, he's closed off as he talks to others.
He's facing them, but he keeps his arms crossed, like some sort of shield, detaching himself from the situation.
He seems unapproachable or defensive, but really from what I've glimpsed over the seasons, it's his way of protecting himself.
He does that with everyone except Buck.
And the one exception that it did happen with Buck was when they were at odds during the lawsuit/street fighting phase.
But that is the only time, and once they were past it, even that same conversation in 3x06, Eddie reverted back to easy openness he has with Buck.
The body language is very different when it comes to one Evan Buckley.
5x13 is the perfect example,
When Buck enters the room Eddie has his arms crossed, but it's not in protection of himself, it's out grief, sorrow, shame, it's a sort of a self hug.
But once Buck sits down, and start talking Eddie turns to him, his arms no longer crossed.
He's looking out in the direction of Christopher's door, but lets the hand covering how mouth down when he speaks to Buck and then makes an effort to meet his eyes.
Buck keeps Eddie talking, his questions are mostly directing ones.
Eddie responds to him, he has an assessing look, his fingers are interlaced, but it's mostly to help the thinking process, how much to say, how to say it.
He wants to tell Buck, but past experience keeps whispering that he might not be accepted after what he discloses.
That Buck would be disappointed in him or mad and leave. Even though he knows logically and historically speaking, that Buck will not leave him, he's still hesitant.
Because if he can't accept himself, if he feels so badly and disappointed in himself for not being able to save his friends from their fates, then how can Buck.
That look btw, threw me back to 2x02, where Eddie hesitates to tell Buck he has a son.
But Buck didn't disappoint then, and he didn't now either.
Eddie knows he can trust Buck, he opens up, "I pulled them out but I didn't save them." It's all said with a sense of failure, like Eddie somehow fell short.
This gives me a sense of confession, like Eddie confesses his greatest sin to the one person who can probably understand him better than anyone. The one person (besides Christopher) that matters the most to Eddie.
And then "That I'm never going to feel normal again."
That look kills me every time, for one because I saw it the mirror before, and second because that Is not something you say out loud to just anyone.
Eddie's open arms policy, when it comes to Buck, is shown here so clearly, his arms are not crossed, his expression is wide open, and tears are visible in red reamed eyes.
He looks terrified, and miserable and defeated and all of that in front of Buck. There's a plea here, 'tell me I'm wrong', 'help me fix this', 'am I going crazy?' And so many other things.
I've talked about Eddie being Buck's anchor before, and theorized that Buck is Eddie’s anchor according to S3a, but here in 5x13 it's clearer than ever that it's not only a theory, it's proven.
Because when Frank asked "what are you afraid of?" Eddie deflected, but when Buck asked so gently, literally pleading Eddie to share this burden, Eddie had no other option but to confide the truth.
One last thing that came to me as I was writing this post,
Buck watched, scared, as Eddie was bleeding out in the middle of the street and both maintained eye contact until Eddie lost consciousness.
This conversation in 5x13 felt a lot like that, Buck is still scared, and all he can do is sit and watch as Eddie is bleeding out, only this time it's emotionally.
This scene, it's so powerful, because everything that Eddie says, rings true to Buck one way or the other, because Buck pulled Eddie out, and he knew he wasn't completely okay, but it's only now that he's starting to realize that he is not done saving Eddie.
And knowing Buck, he will do everything in his power to ensure that Eddie is saved, whatever that may mean or take.