Call it the way I see it!

You don't?

In the words of Carla price from 4x14: "Boy has already lost his mother, I think he understands better than we'd like him to."

And that was when Eddie got shot, and after Christopher’s outburst at 5x10, "Next year you could be dead!"

Which led to Eddie leaving the 118 for a while for Christopher’s peace of mind.

So yeah, he understands. 🥺❤️

Rewatching Merry-xmas (giffing - yes it's a verb). I noticed the parallels between Eddie and Shannon and Eddie and Buck.

In 2x10 Eddie says: " I could pretend it was for a noble cause." (Re-enlisting after His first tour ended, and Christopher was diagnosed)

"But when Shannon broke, nobody thought she was a hero, she just got called evil."

In S3a, Buck is after his injury and was being kept away from his job and family by Bobby, so he sued the department.

And Eddie was mad at him for being selfish.

Now (5x10) Eddie is running away again, but we're again pretending it's for a noble cause (Christopher being afraid).

Eddie is afraid himself and he's running, hiding behind Christopher.

I just want to hug all of them 🥺🥺🥺

So rewatching 4x08, reminded me of how we talked amongst us mutuals how this whole scene of the poor guy on the roof, pretty much mirrored the hell storm that was becoming Eddie's life, we just didn't know how badly it would go.

When we talked about Eddie's bad series of life choices we thought it just meant the whole situation with a*a and Christopher, we had no idea how south things are about to go.

But we should have known that when Eddie said:

We knew it was a foreshadowing, we just couldn't imagine, it was a foreshadowing to this:

I can’t stop thinking about how Mitchell told Eddie in 5x06 that his son is the best part of him, and that he’s willing to give him his heart even if it means he dies.

And after he shoots himself in the head Eddie fights to keep the heart beating so that he can save Mitchell’s son.

Even though I don’t want to, I can’t stop thinking about how Eddie is sacrificing his own wills and wants just so that his son will no longer be afraid - when he tells the team, he’s looking specifically at Buck.

And it occurred to me that when making the analogy, the process here is pretty clear:

1. It’s no secret that Eddie loves his son more than anything and wants the best for him, so after the well, he had to ensure that after his death Christopher will have the best possible care - and he chose Buck. (Mitchell wanting the best for his son, and by that gives him his heart.)

2. After he was shot, Buck did some very dangerous things, the conversation about the will in the hospital indicates that someone made Eddie aware of that. Eddie makes the conscious choice to tell Buck about the will in order to make clear how important it is that Buck lives, take care of himself and not rush into danger, because he has to live in the tragic case that Eddie dies. (Eddie fought to keep Mitchell’s heart beating to save his son) - Buck is Eddie’s heart.

3. Fast forward months later, the pain and trauma finally resurface to an unbearable levels for Christopher who can’t keep it quiet anymore, especially since right after his last Christmas with Shannon - she died. He’s afraid that this Christmas can be the last he has with Eddie after the shooting - Eddie believes that the only way to solve this is to leave the 118 - thus leaving Buck (his heart) in favor of taking care of Christopher, making sure that he’s okay - because no matter how much Eddie loves Buck, it’s no secret that Christopher is his first priority. 

- The problem is that a heart needs a body to keep beating, and according to the new interview - Buck (Eddie’s heart) is going to struggle to keep going (keep beating) without Eddie.

- And just like Nolan (Mitchell’s son), I have a feeling Christopher is going to need Eddie’s heart (Buck) too in order to get over the hurdle they’re facing.