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#casually bringing my own post back – @defsbeom on Tumblr

@defsbeom / defsbeom.tumblr.com

𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓼𝓴𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝔀𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝖆𝖘𝖒𝖎𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖎𝖋𝖘
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defsbeom

Certain things I think about from time to time that results in my heart breaking a little bit every time:

  • Bucky learning about how the world has changed all on his own
  • Bucky being scared of any human interaction at first because he is afraid of himself
  • Bucky trying to learn how to use a microwave to heat up food, but not being able to understand how to use it at first so he just eats half cold food and goes to bed
  • Bucky feeling really alone when he can’t completely understand the new world he’s stepped into after so long
  • Bucky waking up in the middle of the night with a certain triggering memory and not being able to fall back asleep
  • Bucky knowing that as soon as Zemo said those words he would lose himself again and asking him to stop 
  • The horror in Bucky’s system when he realises that people are saying he did the U.N bombing, meaning they will come for him and he has to hurt people again in order to escape
  • Bucky just wanting his life and his mind back but having that snatched away from him every time he gets anywhere near a point where he thinks he’s okay
  • Bucky writing in notebooks about everything he can possibly remember in the fear of losing his memory again
  • “But I knew him”
  • “Ready to comply”
  • “I don’t know if I’m worth all this”
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