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#winter soldier – @defsbeom on Tumblr

@defsbeom / defsbeom.tumblr.com

𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓼𝓴𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝔀𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝖆𝖘𝖒𝖎𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖎𝖋𝖘
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reblogged
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defsbeom

Certain things I think about from time to time that results in my heart breaking a little bit every time:

  • Bucky learning about how the world has changed all on his own
  • Bucky being scared of any human interaction at first because he is afraid of himself
  • Bucky trying to learn how to use a microwave to heat up food, but not being able to understand how to use it at first so he just eats half cold food and goes to bed
  • Bucky feeling really alone when he can’t completely understand the new world he’s stepped into after so long
  • Bucky waking up in the middle of the night with a certain triggering memory and not being able to fall back asleep
  • Bucky knowing that as soon as Zemo said those words he would lose himself again and asking him to stop 
  • The horror in Bucky’s system when he realises that people are saying he did the U.N bombing, meaning they will come for him and he has to hurt people again in order to escape
  • Bucky just wanting his life and his mind back but having that snatched away from him every time he gets anywhere near a point where he thinks he’s okay
  • Bucky writing in notebooks about everything he can possibly remember in the fear of losing his memory again
  • “But I knew him”
  • “Ready to comply”
  • “I don’t know if I’m worth all this”
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Steve Rogers (and myself): Aw he's such a sweet precious little cinnamon bun too pure too precious for this world.
Bucky: *blows up a car, almost kills Nick Fury* *rips off the steering wheel* *destroys a S.H.I.E.L.D airbase* *chokes Steve every chance he gets*
Steve Rogers (and myself): He's just a problem child mUST PROTECT AT ALL COSTS
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Certain things I think about from time to time that results in my heart breaking a little bit every time:

  • Bucky learning about how the world has changed all on his own
  • Bucky being scared of any human interaction at first because he is afraid of himself
  • Bucky trying to learn how to use a microwave to heat up food, but not being able to understand how to use it at first so he just eats half cold food and goes to bed
  • Bucky feeling really alone when he can’t completely understand the new world he’s stepped into after so long
  • Bucky waking up in the middle of the night with a certain triggering memory and not being able to fall back asleep
  • Bucky knowing that as soon as Zemo said those words he would lose himself again and asking him to stop 
  • The horror in Bucky’s system when he realises that people are saying he did the U.N bombing, meaning they will come for him and he has to hurt people again in order to escape
  • Bucky just wanting his life and his mind back but having that snatched away from him every time he gets anywhere near a point where he thinks he’s okay
  • Bucky writing in notebooks about everything he can possibly remember in the fear of losing his memory again
  • “But I knew him”
  • “Ready to comply”
  • “I don’t know if I’m worth all this”
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“I know how much Bucky means to you, I really do. But you need to let this go”

This damn line pisses me off so much now that I think about it because like….no. You clearly don’t know how much Bucky means to Steve if in any twisted reality you expect Steve to back away from trying to save his best friend. It’s like Steve said, he had Bucky when he had nothing, when he was nothing but a skinny guy who never backed down from a fight. So now that Bucky has nothing, you think that there is a way in hell that Steve won’t stand by him till his last breath? It’s the same deal with Tony saying “So was I”. Yes, we get it, you were “friends”. But there is LITERALLY 75 years of history that Steve and Buck share. You think that he won’t give up his life let alone anything else in this world to save Bucky especially since he failed once before?

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