not to jinx it but for the first time since september 2nd i have written more than a thousand words in one day

heres a little thing i wrote in my notes app thatll never become anything because it is very romance and i am not a romance writer but yeah

goodbye.

forever?

for now.

now?

yeah.

but why?

because, forever is a long time

it is

i cannot guarantee i will be gone forever

do you plan to be?

i hope to be.

then dont say for now.

why not?

because you really mean forever.

i mean for now, because i hope for forever but i know it will always be for now.

how can you know that?

because no matter what i tell myself, my heart will always lead me back to you. im drawn to you indefinitely. the kind of love i hold for you would never tolerate a forever. this kind of love would kill me if it was forever. so when i say goodbye, it is a for now.

do you promise?

i promise.

okay.

goodbye.

for now?

for now.

ah doing my favorite activity: rereading unfinished fics bc i don’t remember the actual plot bc its been so long!

on an unrelated note this fic i started forever ago looks really good! i was eating this up

do i have any clue if my characterization is correct? no. do i think this fic is so silly and funny regardless? absolutely

madie thatoneleo masterpost of all of my fics buckle up bozos

in order we have:

multichaps:

Bookstores and Phantom Tears : techno centric bookstore au with bedrock bros not discontinued my motivation just decided to blip out of existence

Starboys and the Shadows that Hide Them : multipov fic with a focus on ranboo, space au, kids got trauma, collab with my buddy roz, super fun fic ALSO NOT DISCONTINUED ROZ IS JUST BUSY

chaos makes interesting (and interesting makes everything) : tommy centric superhero au, kind of a crack fic, super silly, ongoing

just like a folk song (15.1k) : crimeboys centric, short multi chap, both boys have questionable home lives, found family :]

one shots:

Fate’s Story of Grief: I Will Wait for You (3.9k) : first fic ever posted, techno centric, sick fic, mcd, story of loss and grief

Who Knew Secrets Could Change So Much? (6k) : technically a two shot but the second part is an alternate ending, wilbur centric, vigilante au, mcd in chapter two

What is Love? (Can You Show Me?) (4.6k) : tommy centric foster au, probably one of my fluffiest fics, super domestic crimeboys

home is where the heart is (1.8k) : tommy centric au about military brats, he moves around a bit, super self indulgent

wishbones are meant to be broken (2.3k) : tommy centric au with crimeboys, tommy is a son of a politician, mcd

birds of a feather (1.5k) : tommyinnit centric, crimeboys, tommy leaves wilbur to find life for himself, protective wilbur

The Game of Life (6.2k) : my most popular one shot, tommy centric, superhero au, mcd, crimeboys, villain tommyinnit

a burned bridge is nothing but ash and memories (4k) : tommy centric villain au, clingy duo, inspired by trust me not (hero and villain duet), super neat i think

shadow of mine (3.9k) : tommy centric, inspired by shadow of mine by alec benjamin, tommy ignores warnings and bad stuff happens

people and their purposes (20.9k) : first long oneshot, tommy centric, fic about growing up and living life, found family, crimeboys

you can’t force the stars to align (6.1k) : fic fight fic, soulmate au, ranboo centric, tommy and ranboo are soulmates until they arent

slow down you’re doing fine (7.5k) : fic fight fic, detective au, tommy centric, crimeboys, tommy is a criminal who becomes a detective!

time can’t heal all wounds (10.8k) : birthday gift, tubbo centric, time travel au, tubbo tries to save his friend and slowly learns he cant

my heart aches (with every thought of you) (8.5k) : niki centric reincarnation au written from a twitter build a fic, octopus duo!!

i think this time i’m dying (9.1k) : tommy centric, mcd, super angsty, tommy is just really lonely okay

happy birthday to you (4.6k) : birthday gift, tommy centric, fluffy birthday fic, happy ending!

The Silence of Winter (2.6k) : written for scholastic, tommy centric, broken families, apologies, tommy finds peace

Unsent, Unread, Unimportant. (6.6k) : my letter fic! tommy centric, letter/diary/poetry fic, revolutions, powers au, super neat in my opinion one of my favorite fics of mine

take the moment and taste it (32.8k) : tommy centric, slice of life, growing up, clingy duo, mcd, following your dreams

Snowflakes are Fragile (Just Like Me) (3.4k) : purpled centric, fluffy christmas fic, tommy invites purpled over for christmas and shows him the magic in it

The Monopoly of Power (5.7k) : sequel to “The Game of Life”, ranboo centric, superhero au, beeduo

how arbitrary fate is (3.3k) : ambiguous fic, a story of two brothers and one of them is dying, don’t know character until last scene, mcd

death row and finding home (4.8k) : tommy centric, tommy is a death row inmate and wilbur is his lawyer, mcd

you’re lyin’ summer child (5.7k) : tommy centric, mcd, a fic where tommy hates summer except that might not be the most important thing he has to worry about, crimeboys and bench trio

Invisible Strings (5.9k) : tommy and wilbur centric, crimeboys, soulmates au, super duper fluffy, just two oblivious boys

may the road rise to meet you (41.1k) : my royalty au that is literally my child, tommy is a king but nobody knows it and he wants that to change, crimeboys, aeduo, angel duo, bedrock bros, man i love this fic

we’ll fight and bleed for you (4.3k) : wilbur centric, qsmp fic, angst, mcd, wilbur soot and tallulah meet and love each other man

Make the Moment Last Forever (2.5k) : niki centric, photography au, super sweet, birthdays, fluffy!!

to make the halves whole (7.4k) : wilbur centric soulmate au, crimeboys, from a twitter thread i made, letters, mcd oops

we can’t just run away from who we are (5.2k) : birthday gift, charlie centric, qsmp fic, charlie is trying his hardest and so is juanaflippa and at the end of the day thats all that matters

My Soul is Entangled with Yours (5.3k) : techni centric (and then later tubbo centric), apocolypse au, road trip au, mcd, parallels go wild here

A Total Eclipse (4.1k) : tommy centric, nepo baby tommy, serial killer au, tommy is the assistant to techno and wilbur who are serial killers, mcd

A Life We Never Knew (2.8k) : wilbur centric, grief, crimeboys, mcd, grave yard, wilbur goes to visit his mom and makes a friend :]

slowing the beats of my heart (3.4k) : tommy centric, college au (kind of), crimeboys, tommy is stressed about college man thats basically the fic

She Welcomes You (3.2k) : tommy centric, hansel and gretel au, clingy duo, this was an assignment for school, mcd, every year a disaster strikes on a different city this year it was theres and now they are stuck in the woods

you’ll do great things (2.9k) : niki centric fic about college admissions and gifted kid burnout, features wilbur soot and is genuinely a fic i hold close to my heart

Where the Water Takes Us (5.1k) : charlie centric qsmp fic with juanaflippa and charlie getting stranded on a raft and stumbling upon an island where they search for safety

why is writing in class easier than just normal writing

why wont the words just word yk like the ideas are ideaing but the words arent wording

sometimes i want to write the pretty words but then i remember i do not know how to write the pretty words

today ill be good at writing (please please please please please)

taking ao3 being down as a sign to do NO WRITING TODAY (it’s definitely not because i lack motivation)

me when i told myself i was gonna write something and then wrote 52 words in five minutes and decided that was that

I HATE WHEN I HIT A WRITING SLUMP LIKE I HAVE THE IDEAS BUT NO WILL TO WRITE THEM

june writing! 30k words total for the month, though the second end of the month was a struggle :}

writing is so silly sometimes because ill just open up a doc and start writing the most absurd story with no plot

i could write, i want to write, but i can’t so instead i will stare at my ceiling in dismay

i just wrote the saddest gosh dang music duo fic bc i started thinking about how tallulah said death was constantly looming behind her and how she always hands people poppies which are literally symbols of death and how i am going to be sad when she’s gone so instead of waiting for that i just made myself sad NOW

so if you want to cry today! let me know!

hmmm work on my multichap fic that needs to be updated OR open a new doc?

work on my multichap obvi… *opens new document slowly and secretly*