The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn

“You throw another moon at me and I’m gonna lose it.”

• built a literal suit of armour in said cave while still recovering from said open-heart surgery while also being tortured by the ten rings

• created a bunch of AIs
• miniaturized arc reactor technology
• used that same technology to keep himself alive
• made a suit out of spare missile parts
• powered said suit with the arc reactor that he created in a cave
• created a new element in his own basement
• became an expert on thermonuclear astrophysics in one night
• upgraded his suit using nanotechnology

• invented time travel in one night
• created a gauntlet capable of holding and channeling the power of all the infinity stones that ultimately saved the universe

• survived shrapnel to the chest + open-heart surgery in a dank cave
• built a literal suit of armour in said cave while still recovering from said open-heart surgery while also being tortured by the ten rings 
• escaped the ten rings in said suit of armour equipped with fucking flamethrowers
• got knocked out of the sky by a tank missile, stood up, dusted himself off, and shot one back at it & walked off like a Boss™️ without even looking back as it explodes behind him
• hacked black widow’s jet and played ‘shoot to thrill’ as his entrance theme song before thrillingly shooting loki bc he’s a queen who lives for the dramatiques
• squared tf up with a literal asgardian god and sassed the fuck outta his wardrobe choices
• got thrown out of a fucking window by loki from like the 100th storey floor of his tower and was just chillin in free fall, lookin completely unbothered, until his suit caught him
• have u ever heard the tale of jonah? 
• woke up from almost dying after flying a nuke through a wormhole into space and wanted shawarma (even though he had no idea what it was)
• threatened the mandarin on live tv & was like ‘come at me bro’ bc he aint no little bitch
• took out an entire base of aim henchmen with some random shit he bought from like a fucking local walmart 
• jumped off of a structure 200 ft in the air without the guarantee one of his suits would even be there to catch him (he did this several times)
• jumped off the mezzanine in avengers tower in a tailored 3-piece suit (not an iron man suit) onto an ultron bot and deactivated it mid-air with a fucking fondue stick
• fought a supersoldier in a lovely tom ford three-piece two-button
• blocked a bullet aimed at his face at point-blank range with his gauntlet watch
• beat the crap out of two supersoldiers and only lost bc he turned his back on one of them
• glued a cruise ship that was literally split in half back together in like not even 2 minutes??? #guinnessworldrecords2017
• aliens roll up in nyc (again) and his response? ‘i’m sorry earth is closed today. get lost squidward’
• bleeding edge suit up. need i say more?
• pulled out the biggest, most menacing-looking weapon and threatened to blast drax’s face off if quill dared hurt his spider son
• had a literal moon? thrown at him and it just pissed him off. ‘you throw another moon at me, and i’m gonna lose it’ B.D.E!!!
• is not just the most famous in the world, but also apparently in the entire fucking galaxy 
• fought thanos one-on-one in an epic battle sequence
• cut the purple bitch & made him bleed
• got impaled by thanos with his own shiv and then just slapped some nanotech bandaids on it. there, fixed
• is gonna come back with a vengeance in endgame and kill that purple son of a grape