“I spend too much time thinking about things that aren’t now, things that have not yet been. I have become a master in the art of cultivating false realities in my mind in an effort to distract me from the now. The problem is that my heart is ready to give all that it has in a single beat. I am human, and I so desire to be loved, and give love, with every fiber of my being. I romanticize about fictional occurrences so much that I am devastated when I am snapped back into reality. The reality here is that, as much as I wish I didn’t, I still feel lonely and unhappy. I am afraid of love, but yet, I desire it every day.”
— journal entry: december 22nd, 2017