A/N: it's 1am and i felt like writing and now two new ocs exist and im going to cry bc i think they deserved better than this but im declaring this canon bc i enjoy pain
Each breath was a choking rack, and it brought him back to reality, never letting that darkness cover his vision. It was funny, how pain had a way of doing that to you. It interrupted your body, blocked the flow, the natural rhythm, it flooded your thoughts.
Maybe it was a good thing, though. Emeri didn't quite feel like remembering what he'd done. The memories came unbidden, though, but were crashed out by every breath.
The tears in his brother's eyes.
Was breathing truly worth it at this point?
He'd already fallen to the ground, the grass beneath him giving way easily as it always does. The birds sang just the same, the quiet rush of a stream just out of grasp not having changed.
It was unfair. How come they didn't change, and he did? How could they go about their lives as normal despite bearing witness to the horrors committed within these ruins? Blood, some of it his own, stained the ancient walls.
He didn't mean it. He hadn't been the one in control. The curse was, she was, but now he was left to bear the weight of her sins. Or was it his own? Sins committed by his hands under the control of another? The gun or the man, who was to blame?
He forced the words out in a whisper: "They're still dead, no matter what." It hurt in more ways than one to remind himself of that, aloud where both the thought and physical reminder hurt him.
Shutting his eyes with his shoulders trembling, it felt wrong to shed these tears. His hands and her will, wanted or not, the flaking red under his fingers still were not of his own.
Breathing hurt. His head hurt. His body hurt, everything-
It was only a matter of time before Alek showed up, wasn't it?
"If you're here to kill me, you're a little late to the party." He let out a laugh, ignoring the pain, because wasn't it funny? Wasn't it funny that he killed everyone he loved except him, and now his death would be by the one her will had spared?
Emeri didn't know when his laughter turned back into sobs, or when he'd pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them in a broken hug. He didn't deserve any comfort, he deserved pain, so he wrapped his arms tighter, tighter, let his chest scream in pain.
Alek didn't have any response to Gusion's quip, and that was okay, because he didn't deserve one. Still, he went on, "You know, it's hypocritical if you kill me. I'm not--I'm not a demon. Not fully. You aren't either, even with your own curse."
Silence stretched, and Emeri hated it. He squeezed his eyes shut and didn't think about the way that Rowan didn't try to fight back, even as he was dying. He didn't think about how his brother's last words were that he was proud of Emeri, and thay he knew Emeri could fight againsr her will.
Emeri couldn't. He tried. He tried so hard but he couldn't. Her command over him was final and he was trapped within his own mind screaming, wanting to get out, to do something, to stop, to do anything to not kill who she wanted, to disobey her commands, but Emeri couldn't, he couldn't, and look where it ended him up.
"There's a difference between us, Emeri." He could hear the regret in Alek's voice. The pain, how raw it was in his voice that he didn't want to do this. "I can control it. You..."
"I kill everyone she wants me to. When she orders me to walk, I walk, and if she tells me to stop breathing, I'll suffocate, because her magic's in my blood, and I can't disobey." Emeri opened his eyes, taking in a deep breath that shuddered his whole body, oxygen burning his chest. "I didn't choose this. My ancestors caused this.
Alek, I don't want to be a monster." Emeri turned his gaze to the hunter behind him, eyes filled once more with tears that spilled down, mixing with the drying blood on his face. "Would it be better if I were dead? That way her curse ends. I'm free, and nobody else I love dies. No innocent dies by my hands. Would it be better?"
Alek's grip on his sword tightened, and, truly, Emeri had never seen him so frayed before. A hunter so dedicated to his craft, never showing hesitation nor weakness. It was one of the things that Emeri had fallen for about him. No matter what, the decision had already been made.
"I don't want to kill you." Alek's voice was as soft as the nearby stream, as broken as the ruins surrounding them.
"I don't want to kill anyone else."
Pain twisted Alek's face into a horrid work of art. His life's work against his heart, a choice that would decide the fate of an unknown number. A life within his palm, decided by the blade in his hand.
"I don't know when she'll be back." Emeri's voice was barely more than a whisper, tears silent streaks on his face. "There's no fix. Her fingers grip my mind and there's no more I can do. I can't regain control, not when she runs through my life force, when she controls everything that keeps me alive."
It was a sad smile on his face, and his heart was wretched. "To rip her from me means draining my body of its blood, and by that point I'd be dead. If I were able to regain control, I would've regained control as she crushed my brother's windpipe with my hands."
He could see the way Alek's throat seemed to clench and unclench, the bob his adam's apple showing Alek's momentary loss of words. "So there's no stopping her, then?"
Emeri shook his head. "No," He answered. "None." Because he'd know if there was a way out. Nothing--nothing solved this. There was no good ending for him. He was no hero. He was the unwilling villain and in the end the villains always lose.
It took a few moments before Alek lifted the tip of his sword away from the ground, before he walked towards Gusion. A tremor in his hands showed itself in the blade, and he asked, "How so you wish to die, Emeri?"
He hadn't thought this through. Nobody plans on choosing how they die, hero or villain. Still, he knew the answer, and it slid naturally through past his lips, "Through the heart. Let it be ruined so she can no longer run through my veins."
Alek nodded, his shoulders rising in a steadying breath that did little to still the tremor in his hands. Gazes locked, one to be proclaimed a hero across the world while the other to have their final place of rest spat on.
And Emeri smiled, because she wouldn't get to hurt him. She didn't kill everyone he loved, not yet, not ever. And Emeri saw the anguish in Alek's eyes, so he turned fully towards him and reached out his hand, gently grabbing the blade of the sword and guided it up, placing the tip of it to his heart.
"You will learn to love another." He spoke, because the thought Alek living the rest of his days alone was lone enough to kill him, and he couldn't bare such a thought. "This heart of mine, it didn't deserve anything but the poison within it, but I still find happiness when you held it in your hands."
"Kill me." The tears were enough to blur his vision now, Alek's form nothing but a mess of dark colors against a background of green. "Kill evil. It is your job. To protect, to bleed, this is our allegiance."
"May death be our final reward." The Creed of all Hunters. An oath to bear for the rest of their lives after their consecration to the order.
The sword slid through his chest, any resistance of flesh and bone ignored by brute strength. In the back of his mind, Emeri felt her clawing, screaming from her dormancy, forcing his limbs to jerk as Alek further drove in his sword, twisting it.
Emeri was grateful. His lips formed a wordless thank you, for he would not be forced to kill another by her hands.
The villain had fallen, and it was time for the sinner to meet his retribution as the angel cried over a bloodstained body.