The Truth of BuzzFeed’s Grindr BBQ
TW: Rape, Sexual Assault, Pedophilia
***Since this post Buzzfeed has reached out to us and put up an updated article, which can be found Here. We’d like to thank them for publishing this new article. They were very kind and very quick to address our concerns once they were aware. We hope that in the future Buzzfeed (and other media organizations that publicized the BBQ like VICE, Fox, Queerty, and more) will exercise more caution when reporting stories with the potential to cause harm. The BBQ would never have gone viral without a platform.***
The Buzzfeed article was titled “This Man Invited People To A "BBQ Not Orgy" On Grindr And It Was Surprisingly Heartwarming.” It’s about how Chris Bowman, a 61 year old man from Apex, North Carolina has been hosting an annual summer BBQ. He advertises this BBQ through the gay dating/hookup app, Grindr. It’s about how the event is surprisingly sweet and Bowman, who is a recovered alcoholic, wants to give back to the community and bring people together.
TL;DR Chris is a registered sex offender with a history of pedophilia and preying on young people. His ‘not an orgy’ and community talk is a gaslighting tactic to groom young people into having sex with him. Buzzfeed, Vice, and other social media outlets giving his event a platform endangers LGBT youth. Buzzfeed has since responded to our personal queries and has edited the article to reflect that they are currently investigating.
Buzzfeed Link: Click Here
Time for the real shit. Buckle UP.
A group of four of us (J, M, X, and A) attended the BBQ in the summer of 2017. J received an invite similar to the one shown in the Buzzfeed article over Grindr, and we’re young and dumb so we decided what the hell, let’s go. We rolled up and saw a fire truck and ambulance already there. He’d invited the local fire department and EMS to attend the BBQ. The food was admittedly very good, and the crowd was a strange mix of after-church and from Grindr. Most of the other folks at the BBQ seemed fine and kind. Buzzfeed got that right. Here is what they left out:
HE’S A SEX CRIMINAL
His page on the NC registry: Click Here
More information about his charges & appeal: Click Here
1997: Chris is giving Daniel, a 14 yo boy, a golf lesson. He locks the doors to the store and turns off the lights. He comes up behind Daniel under the impression of adjusting the child’s technique. He reaches down into Daniel’s underwear and molests him.
1998: Chris’s daughter has two friends over for a slumber party. They are sisters. When everyone is asleep, Jessica, a 15 yo girl, is walking down the stairs of his multi-level house. Chris approaches, pulls down her shorts, and performs oral sex on her. He stops when Jessica’s sister stumbles upon the scene.
2005: Chris provides his house as a location for two friends, a 24 yo and 18 yo, to have sex with their underage girlfriends, 14 yo and 15 yo.
He appealed his 2005 convictions that testimony from 1997 & 98 was inadmissible in the determination of guilt phase of his trial.
THE BBQ
Chris knew who we were and immediately inserted himself into our group. We figured, yeah we’ll talk with him a while—he gave us all this food, so we kind of have to (!!THIS IS HIS STRATEGY!!). Anyway, we listened to him talk about orgies, sex, golf, and drugs in Europe for about an hour. Topics he hit:
- Orgies he’d attended in downtown Paris where you circled the arc de triumph in your car until forming a chain of other searching cars that would eventually peel off into a warehouse or somewhere to initiate the orgy. It’s cool you, should totally try it sometime! OKAY.
- He talked a lot about how his favorite drug to use was Black Beauty
- He talked a lot about how good the golfing was in Scotland (He molested a 14 yo boy in 1997 while teaching a golf lesson!)
- He spent a lot of time trying to convince us to attend the “BBQ After Dark”
The heat was incredible that day and we were starting to get tired of his weird sex talk. Chris saw this and asked J what was wrong. J told him it was just kind of hot. Chris followed up by inviting J to go on and take his shirt off. J said no, he was fine. Chris said, “Oh no, come on! Take your shirt off! I’ll take my shirt off!” J ignored it. We were all uncomfortable. Throughout the ENTIRE event, Chris constantly reminded us about the after dark portion of the BBQ, which we were all very invited to. We had no plans of going, but kept our refusals soft and polite out of respect, because again, the BBQ is a tactic to make you treat him kinder and feel bad about thinking he’s creepy.
THE NEXT DAY
This was when the solicitations started. For the next year and a half until J deleted his Grindr last fall, Chris continued to send J messages trying to move things forward. He also tried to pick up A and X through J’s Grindr. He’s talked about how he’s really excited about the buzz the event has been getting and how he’s hoping the event will grow and grow. J hasn’t responded to the messages that have kept coming for over a year. Attached are a few screenshots.
CONCLUSION
We tried to contact Buzzfeed after the article was first published about how they had misrepresented the nature of the event. When (at first) they didn’t respond, we didn’t think it mattered too much. Maybe we were being too critical? The food was good… However, now that we are aware of Chris’s history of pedophilia, we want to make sure anyone who decides to attend knows what to expect.
EDITS
1) Changed X’s initial to preserve anonymity
2) Dug up more chatlog screenshots from old group messages and added them
3) Buzzfeed has since responded to us, edited the article, and is investigating further.
4) added TW
5) Added link to Buzzfeed’s updated article
