Welcome to Night Vale, but Moon and Sun are Cecil and Kevin (respectively) and the reader (and the reader’s possible double) are their assistant.
(This is Moon’s lil intro ficlet ;3c)
The night is dark and comforting outside the studio, a cool breeze slipping past the softly-shifting trees and what few souls are out so late into the evening — not counting the Sheriff’s Secret Police, of course, though everyone already assumed a couple of them were half-hiding behind the Wendy’s. It was Friday, after all, and not even shifty government agents could resist a good burger when it was discounted so well.
But Moon can’t properly enjoy any of that at the moment. No, he has a job to do. It’s a job that he very much loves, even if it often takes away from his ability to see the town at its most…. Peaceful.
There is a gentle *click* in the recording booth as a light flicks on, bright red letters piercing through a dim room on the other side of a thick glass sheet, looking over to the automaton sitting in front of a boom microphone.
“Sticks and stones may brake your bones,” a soft, almost musical voice fills the airwaves of a sleepy, unnerving town. “But an axe would be more effective. Perhaps even a mace, heh. Welcome, listeners, to Night Vale’s evening radio broadcast.”
Moon hums softly as he reaches a hand out to tap at the button with the intro recording, letting it fade into the ear before drifting back out, a soft tune of comfort and delight to many — he still doesn’t know who originally made it, only that it appeared randomly one day as a tape on the top of his desk with an odd label of old bloody runes he couldn’t begin to translate.
Oh well, that’s how he usually got some of the music for his show anyway— at least this one didn’t come with an unfortunate side-effect of giving all who listened to it an unfathomable craving for cream-of-wheat for no apparent reason.
“We start our program off with an announcement, listeners,” Moon shuffled the papers in his hand, humming to himself as he glances over the words he’d long-since already memorized when he walked into the studio to start his shift. “City Counsel has declared the month of July to be recognized not only as Disability Pride Month, but also as the Wrath Month — this is to follow Pride Month from June, of course, and if approved the following months will recognize each cardinal sin as follows: Sloth, Envy, Politician, Lust, and finally Gluttony.”
Moon clears his throat, then continues: “City Counsel also declared that all violent crimes unable to be caught by the Sheriff’s Secret Police for the month of July will not be illegal. You got a rival? An enemy? Make sure to take out all that wrath before August 1st!”