Draw Vegetables

everyone shut the fuck up and look at this snake named barcode

a comprehensive list of possible apartment maintenance issues, according to the online portal:

you either have spiders or its something else

How do they choose which sand to be the glass and which sand to be the sand in an hourglass... Imagine you and your best friend were two grains of sand and you had to be in the hourglass and your bestie had to be the glass. Ur together but youve never been more apart. A Sick and twisted practice hourglassery is...

This was me off 1 chocolate croissant

vehicular manslaughter chappell roan be like you can hit a hundred boys with cars

entomologist chappell roan be like you can keep a hundred bugs in jars

Finally got a clear shot of noonoo carrying her spring, it's her favourite toy

noonoo….

dmv: can i have you birth certificate

me: i dont have it but you can trust! 😁✌️

dmv: ok! 😁✌️here is your license

me: its so small and cute! 😳

dmv: just like you! ☺️

can't get an algorithm like this on twitter

my holiday season plans:

and of course, presumably, a drunkard's grave.

I love how this was from a time where apparently cocaine was in the middle of these things

Cocaine was a step on the way to ginger ale.

We did it. I think we found the most boring person who ever lived

a herd of dairy cow isopods grazing the great green meadow 🌱

Waiter oh waiter more salt in my wound please!!!