I’m unseasoned grits at best

waiting for men to start calling their court ordered therapy journaling a GUY-ary.

I’m using groanouns because I’m not happy about existing no matter what I’m called.

But what if I just learned to draw? What if?

There’s no way I’ve typed out “circle jerk” so many times that the word that comes up after circle isn’t “of” (circle of life) but apparently I’m fucking wrong

How can y’all take baths? You realize you tooted in that water, right? You’re now soaked in poo particles.

Conservatives who like John Wick are baffling. He wouldn’t like you…he’d kill you with a book on feminism and anti capitalism.

don't let them fool you. ted cruz is still the zodiac killer.

Ah, I see you haven't appreciated me today. Would you like to download the CareAboutMe software available for purchase in the app store?

"Man, I could use a nap..." I say to myself half an hour after waking up from a nap.

greek mythology more like geek mythology am i right? hahaha fuckin' nerds!

glee (derogatory)

shitposts i made on my phone for no reason but maybe they’d make a good song/chapter title or sentence starter