Really? This is too gay:

But this isn't?

I’m crying because when my dad was eighteen he was going to join the airforce and then the night before he had a dream that Jesus slapped him in the face with a gigantic fish and asked him what he was doing and he woke up and thought, “Jesus is right what am I doing?” And that’s why my dad did not join the military. 

before i had gotten close with ex-catholics i was under the assumption that "catholic guilt" was mostly about sex, or serious topics.

but i was naïve. it's apparently about every positive experience. enjoying a meal? you're so lucky, children are starving. spending your day off cosy in bed? wow, so selfish, homeless people are freezing to death.

every former or present catholic i've met has a very obvious anxiety disorder and it's so painfully not a coincidence.

anyone who says “the bible is clear” about an issue, is 100% of the time wrong. the bible wasnt clear once. the bible couldnt be clear about how to make a table if it came in an ikea box

Exodus 25:23-30

well ill be darned

the only thing the bible is clear on is how to make furniture but only because jesus was a carpenter

Wait...these are the people that fold like paper when you kiss someone of the same sex in front of them, right? Okay.

This is my favorite onion article title bar NONE

He was flying over US territory without authorization, most likely.

I don’t know who Megan Kelly is but I wanna piss her off

dis bitch

“Verifiable fact” 😭😂

I’d PISS ON HER tbh

btw Saint Nicholas, whom Santa Claus is based on, was a black guy

and we don’t know exactly what jesus looked like, but here’s an artistic reconstruction of an average 20-something male from his ethnic group at the time

DOES THIS LOOK FUCKING WHITE TO YOU

I want this post everywhere

jesus was represented more or less accurately as an ethnically jewish arab man up until the reign of pope alexander vi, in the late 15th century. since he was viciously persecuting roman jews during this time, alexander wanted to make them less sympathetic to the public, and did so in part by ordering that portrayals of jesus be based off of his son, cesare borgia.

the reason “jesus is white” is because someone purposefully attempted to alter the perception of history to benefit his goal of persecuting a targeted ethnic group.

Ooh, interesting historical note.

I don’t usually share posts like this but I always want to piss off Megan Kelly

Canon Santa not fanon Santa

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

He killed his yonger brother in cold blood because he was jealous of him. There is in no way anything funny about this. No hesitation just poped a rock over his turned head, droped his body over the edged and tried to lie to god about what he did. FUCK YALL CRAZIES!!!

oh are those the receipts, Cain is problematic now?

Cainceled 

The Bible fandom is offended by something?! Say it ain’t so!

I wish the world would understand..

Good post but I have to admit my favorite part is the anime religious girls

they have the power of god AND anime on their side

I wonder what Christian meme groups are like. I mean some Christians have the biggest victim complexes in the world and if you couple that with first person perspective memes, you’d probably get memes like:

Oh thank fuck it is my time to shine

These are all from a Christian meme group that I joined for some reason but fell in love with

I’ve been consuming Christian memes since I was about fourteen and they’re all like this. Also:

May I add:

ok i spent hours looking through christian discord servers for these

Some personal favorites I’ve encountered

I’m not sure if any of these count as blasphemy exactly but happy sunday yall.

This goes so well with what my mother says.

‘God has to have a sense of humor or else he wouldn’t have created us.”

Listen I know I’m Jewish but this shit is too fucking funny for me not to reblog

@alexofmeen @randomly-misplaced-ace

as someone who once traded memes with a woman from church, Christian memes are fuckin GREAT. This is one she sent me

I love that they censored the escalation meme with Sprite

As a Christian I LOVE Christian memes. They’re always hilarious to me. They bring me life (as does our Lord and Savior)