A Merrythought for a Merryman

the lovely woman who owned kabosu, the shiba known as doge, should get to take a point blank shot at elon musk with the doohickey that killed shinzo abe

kabosu’s owner pulling up outside the Department of Government Efficiency offices like

the shitstains at youtube memoryhole’d propane genesis evangelion but I had already downloaded it because I know youtube is full of absolute cunts so here it is

sorry kids daddy lost all his money betting on rhinoceros beetle fights again there won't be a christmas this year

there's people out there that smoke weed with their parents

one time I was at a friend's place and her friend answered the phone and went "hi mom! oh I'm just rolling a joint" the relationships people have with their parents blow my mind. just insane to me. we all live such different lives

Hey so fun new scam just dropped! I got a call earlier today from someone spoofing the local police department's desk number, asking me if there was a reason I'd missed my jury summons this morning.

Friends, I had not received a jury summons for this month. Which I told him, at which point his previously clear diction suddenly turned into a rapid mumble, only becoming clear for scary words like 'federal' and then asking to confirm my address, at which point I hung up and decided to call the police department later.

When I called the police department the desk officer sounded so tired y'all. All I had to say was "Hey I got a call earlier saying I missed jury duty this morning?" and she immediately sighed and told me that yes it was a scam that was going around and thanked me for calling to confirm.

So this is your periodic reminder that law enforcement agencies will not call you to tell you that you're in trouble. If you need to pay a fine of some sort they will mail you a physical invoice. Anyone calling you saying they're from the police or any other law enforcement organization (up to the CIA and yes I have heard of scammers attempting to impersonate CIA agents over the phone) who then tries to get financial information from you over the phone is a scammer.

I know I actually bang on about this a weird amount, but it is my fervent hope that the information will stick in peoples' brains if they get randomly selected for the adrenaline spike lottery. Scammers use scary words to get you to panic in order to shut down your critical thinking, and if even one person's brain spits out "Tumblr user waterhobbit said the cops/CIA/federal marshalls don't call about this shit" before their bank account routing number is in the hands of assholes I will consider it a job well done.

The person in this post follows my rule of thumb that protects me from 99.9% of all phone scams, and i'd like to highlight it here

For ANY "important" call you actually think might be real, get the name of the agency or institution involved, (and here is the important part:) look up the phone number to that agency or institution on your own, and call back about it.

If you never use a phone number they give you and always look up the number on your own, they can never scam you. Here's how it looks.

"hi, i'm from your bank and your account has just been charged, just, so much money, we're worried it might be fraud."

"Thank you for letting me know, I'll call back later, goodbye"

Then i look up my bank's phone number, and call that number, and tell them i received a call about suspicious activity on my account.

If it's real, they'll help me with it, and if it's not they'll confirm it's not true. Either way, i know i'm talking to the actual bank and not a scammer.

This works for ALL phone scammers, no matter how scary or time sensitive they try to tell you it is. If it's real, something like "i'm driving right now but i'll call back in a few minutes, no thank you i already have the contact information for your agency/business" is ALWAYS an acceptable answer, at most they will want to give you some kind of a case number before you hang up. The more they resist you calling them back from a number you look up, the more likely they are to be a scam.

It's important that YOU call the number of the agency/business. Don't let them "call you back from the main number", it's possible to spoof caller IDs including government numbers.

and don't use google search results, go to the actual agency website

👻 SARA’S SPOOKTOBER 🎃 ↳ VAN HELSING (2004) Dir. Stephen Sommers

Hi, I'm Aiy. I'm a queer native parent who has severe anxiety and a bad feeling about the politics of the world right now.

220/$1000

The goal above is based on how much things cost online and is more of a price range than actual goal, too. I'll of course keep y'all updated.

I can post receipts and such, too. I'm sure I'll be able to find a lot of the things I need in military supply stores around here so I didn't make an Amazon list (also cuz idk how to share a list without sharing my address) but I can absolutely post receipts/proof of purchase and such should anyone need me too.

Yeah that tracks

Man you could just do stuff back then huh

every time i see the taylor swift tour shit in toronto i think of that post where somebody said eras tour is shen yun for white women and i lose it

i was hanging out with a transgender polycule in seattle the other weekend and we all looked like this

[trying to get inspiration for a ttrpg session]: hmmmm what did those crazy bastards in the middle ages say Vergil could do

 The emperor threw Virgilius into prison with a death sentence, but when he was brought up, thirsty Virgilius asked for water. When the guards brought him a pail of water, Virgilius jumped into it, saying he was going to Sicily and magically vanished.