An ex-criminal and alcoholic's view of Severus Snape
Why is Snape the hero for me? Tagging severeus cause you might want to read.
Cause none of the other characters got that fucking low. I don’t identify with Harry Potter’s life. I don’t identify with Neville or Ron. I don’t identify with any of that other crap.
I was a fucked up kid. I went to prison for horrific things. I was deep into drink to the point where I would kill somebody else or kill myself. I hit rock bottom in every way. I was indoctrinated into that self-destructive lifestyle just like Snape was. I didn’t think. I hurt people badly. We were both abused by the same groups we were trying to fit into.
And we, both of us, pulled ourselves out of that shit. It doesn’t matter if we are or were good people - we pulled ourselves out of that crap and survived where we should have died. And we made the choice to do good things, for whatever reason and however hard and complex that was for us. Not because of being noble, not because of some pure heart bullshit - but because we reached our breaking point where something snapped. I identify with that, because that happened to me. We managed to stay out of that crap because we held onto something that made us hopeful, something that made us happy, something that we fucked up royally and wanted to repair in our minds. Sometimes we repressed shit, sometimes it really hurt. Sometimes we forgot about things for years only to have them resurface. Eventually, doing the ‘right thing’ is the only thing that will keep you alive, no matter if you’re doing it for yourself, for some mythical ‘greater good’ bollocks or for a memory of something terrible you did that haunts you. We both recognised that in the end.
I wonder if yourcanadianoverlord has ever lived that life. My life. And he has the audacity to tell me that Snape ain’t the hero for me? Wow. That’s rich.
Nah, I identify with Snape. I definitely don’t excuse everything he’s done, because that’s bullshit too. But the journey to self redemption and self healing through years of hell? Yeah.