⚜On the wings of the night amidst the stars ⚜

Just adding in some Fred&Ginger thoughts. I don't really care how definitely realistic they are, maybe a little hopeful thinking can have its merits too. ;)

So what I thought is that if Hermes Pan, their choreographer/ friend hadn't been gay, that would most likely have posed a real problem. It helped them have a harmonious relationship as it was.

I might have to pull back from my X-files stuff again, this isn't working. I'm 33 years old now and unfortunately things don't work as they used to and I'm not 18 anymore. As much as I love the series, I can't unsee what I've had to learn during the last decade. Both the darker stuff about the shit actors and musicians and people in the media are involved in, which I can't pretend away and the simple fact that we've all grown up without seeing healthy relationships.

I don't mean to spoil anybody's fun, so just scroll away if you don't like this post, I don't want to hurt anybody.

I can't see stuff the way I did 10 years ago unfortunately and I'm not doing myself any favours if I fangirl over Mulder&Scully's relationship like I did back in the day. I have no doubt at all about their love for each other but this is such an unhealthy relationship and I have first hand and secondhand experience of what it actually feels like to take the toll of a man's inability to get his shit together and of subjecting women to engage with and cleaning up his mess. Mulder is not a partner that I would support any woman to have and it's not romantic to live in the flying debris of his existence. Scully didn't get any of the things she wanted in her life and a lot of pain in exchange for her devotion and commitment. Stay away from weak men. Scully deserved better.

I hadn't previously realized how many Polish blogs directly or indirectly call for the destruction of Germany as a whole and the annihilation of German people in particular. All the while living on previously German land.

I haven't grown up like that, we live relatively close to Poland and there's lots of Polish people here and lots of German people there and much rather normal exchange back and forth. Many German-Polish couples I got to be friendly with also. So I haven't been met with any of that hate there, rather with a lot of common ground since we all lived through the Soviet times and had a lot of shared hard times.

I understand that the war still has wounds on both sides that haven't healed, I knew that through our real life interactions obviously. People are talking about it sometimes and are still trying to deal with it. But as far as I've experienced it, people in real life always knew that today's German or today's Polish guy or gal on the street is not your enemy and is not the one out to kill you or displace you. And also not the one responsible for anything that has happened before. It is apparently only on the internet that people find some moral high ground in the demand for genocide. Which is nothing explicitly new but I will block you and report you. No matter what topic it is about, if you have really strong feelings of pain and decide to believe the lie that everything will be super great again if your "enemy" gets beaten, killed or tortured, then I would rather you stay on your little crazy island and live the life you choose there.

I'm trying to heal, even from generational trauma.