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To Lose My Life or Lose My Love

@darkly-dreaming-doctor

Shannon. 27 and afraid. Australian.
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My cemetery’s in Key Biscayne. It’s one of the prettiest in the world. The sky is blue, palm trees, rolling hills. The one is Los Copa’s really sh*t. [sigh] What a pain in the ass you are. And it’s true: you’re not young, you’re not new, and you do make people laugh. And me? I’m still with you because you make me laugh. So you know what I got to do? I got to sell my plot in Key Biscayne so I can get one next to you in that shithole Los Copa, so I never miss a laugh. Robin Williams and Nathan Lane as Armand and Albert in The Birdcage (1996) dir. Mike Nichols
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heystephen

“You’re still gay and that’s FINAL.” is such a batshit sentence guys im literally losing my mind over here

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In the mid-2000s there was a brief fad in Australian government messaging where they went out of their way to insult the public as much as possible.

This fad eventually died out after the tourism board attempted the same style of messaging in the UK, causing a minor scandal which led to the head of Tourism Australia, Scott Morrison, getting the sack.

The first time we drove past the “don’t drive like a cock” sign, my mum looked at it was immediately SO confused - after all she’s a good semi-conservative Christian woman. My brother and I knew it right away but for the next half hour she guessed literally EVERY other word for cock (don’t drive like a rooster, chicken, hen, chick, bird, fowl, poultry) trying her goddamned hardest to make the sign make sense until my - at the time - eleven year old brother got fed up and yelled COCK at the top of his lungs from the back seat.

My mum was FURIOUS - we weren’t even allowed to say “heck” - until she realised he’d just been telling her what the sign was, and for the rest of the three hour trip our good semi-conservative Christian mother proceeded to amuse herself by muttering “cock” under her breath and giggling like a teenager every time she did.

We still bring it up every now and then. So that particular advertising campaign has been making my family laugh for over a decade.

This one was always my favourite, though:

Reblogging to make sure this excellent story is seen

These ads were amazing, we need to return to this kind of advertising

Pretty sure the Drink. Drive. Die In A Ditch. one is still up.

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If only there were some sort of facility where teenagers could be taught new skills.

Anyway, here's a helpful diagram. When I was hit on the temple this was one of the harder things I had to reteach myself. Don't be shamed into not asking questions, and it's alright if it takes you a while to figure it out. Don't let someone make you feel bad for learning new things, or relearning old ones.

Sometimes, unfortunately, you have to teach yourself. YouTube is a valid option.

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doodadeals

“im learning another language” can only mean two things:

  • I have been studying this language for over a decade please forgive any mispronunciation im still learning
  • i have a 2 day streak in duolingo and IM REALLY FEELING IT THIS TIME
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