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Rumplestiltskin

@darkerdeariegold / darkerdeariegold.tumblr.com

Indie Blog for Rumplestiltskin/Mr Gold Roleplays as well as other Robert Carlyle characters. AU and canon, modern world and otherwise.
Please check out the FAQ, and send me a message. I don't bite.
Love is a weapon, dearie.
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After three years of meetings, appointments and the like I finally have the diagnosis; Autism!

Explains so much about me and is a huge relief to be honest. Explains a lot about why there are so many people I want to talk to but feel like I should leave in peace etc. only taken till I’m 35 to find out why I am the way I am!

Just thought I’d say that here because I know I can be erratic, I know I can be a challenge and I am so thankful for the chances I get and the enjoyable RP I get to do. Especially thankful for the friendships I have because of it.

So, if you’re curious about yourself and a bit older, push on and keep at it. You might just get the answers you’re looking for!

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“Well apparently one of the skills of this banal little village is to hold a grudge,” Lilith replied drily, satisfying that even if the people were to continue trying to chase them, they certainly weren’t going to make anymore attempts to throw ill-advised missiles. She had, as a general rule, an attitude to leave mortals alone as long as they did the same to her; any that challenged her, tried to attack, were forfeit of most things, including their life. The axe-thrower should be grateful that the only thing he lost was a hand. 
“And if they make a habit of throwing axes, spears or any other sharp implement at anything they vaguely dislike, or dislike by association, then it’s no wonder they experienced conflict,” Lilith observed, throwing a disdainful look back in their direction before rolling her eyes. They were idiots, thinking they could inflict any damage, that either she or Gold would allow it, that they and their chosen steeds wouldn’t escape unscathed. 
“Perhaps,” she added, reasoning aloud, as her own horse began to slow down a little, clearing sensing that the threat behind them was beginning to fade away, “they relied too much on this…precious artefact. Trusting they could attack who liked without receiving the…appropriate consequence. You might not have done them any service, but you certainly had for any of their enemies. Or their victims.” And there were, after all, two sides to every story and every battle. 
“As the sun sets?” She raised an eyebrow in query as she looked at him, silently admitting that her curiosity was suitably piqued. “And why, exactly, does it require such a…particular time?”
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A tilt of his head in agreement, he actually chuckled to himself at the thought. He had certainly earned grudges in his time, but he had actively tried to improve those relations over the last few years. Not everyone had accepted that he had changed, and he didn’t expect them to either. “I have to admit, I’m sure there are plenty of other grudges being held against me. I’m quite the impactful man...” he still had some sort of pride at that, it was impossible not to. He wasn’t proud of the bad things he had done, but he was oddly proud to have his name remembered. Once upon a time as a lowly spinner with a limp, he doubted anyone would remember him. If they did, it would only be as a coward. It made him question whether it was better to be forgotten or feared.

Gently stroking the neck of his horse as it trotted along more calmly to the cabin, Rumple hummed. Lilith was correct, they had relied too much upon the artefact. “Magic has a way of causing reliance. I’m more guilty of that than most. This village had a collective reliance and suffered from the inability to adapt, ultimately.” Yes, he was still to blame somewhere along the line, but he was realising that perhaps he wasn’t entirely to blame. That may not have been Lilith’s intention with her words, but it was the consequence. 

Coming to a stop in front of the cabin, Rumple paused a moment on the back of the horse as he looked over towards Lilith. Leaning just a few inches to his left, he lifted a hand to point to a particular break in the woods. “Because when the sun sets, the fading light hits a point here, just so. The composition of the trees and placement of them, here for thousands of years, reacts to the light. I don’t know how. I assume science, not magic, is involved. Not my area. But the reaction creates this beautiful harmony in the air. A song. It’s only for a few minutes, but it’s one of the most beautiful sounds you’ll ever hear.” The view was something special too, but that remarkable little part of this realm made it all worth it for him. He only hoped Lilith liked it too.

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Milah happily leaned her forehead against his and sighed, enjoying the feeling all around her. She did her best to never take her little family for granted. “I love you, too,” she said with a blissful sigh.
She pulled back after a few, still smiling and still very happy. She picked up a cloth, dampened it with her tongue, and began cleaning Baelfire’s face. “Hopefully I can get the chores done early and come sketch you while you work. I’ve always wanted to do that.”
Baelfire was done with his cake but not his berries. Milah cut a bit of her own slice and placed it on his plate for him. “That reminds me. I’m going into the village tomorrow to pick up some flour and a few other items. Was there anything you needed or wanted?” 
He couldn’t believe his good fortune in life. They weren’t rich and he had a limp, some nights the dreams were so awful he needed her embrace to still, but he had all the love he could have wanted in life, and then some. Milah didn’t have to stay with him when he returned from war with his injury. She could have bought in to the lies and whispers, she could have considered him too much of a problem to keep. But she chose to keep their love together and their lives were all the richer for it.

Eyes brightening, the mere prospect of her sketching him was enough to widen his smile. “I would like that, very much,” he nodded as he spoke. “Perhaps some of the chores can wait until tomorrow to allow me time to help?” That way she could enjoy her gift even sooner.

A pause to ponder, Rumple hummed briefly. “Perhaps a small slab of wood for carving? I was thinking of carving him some larger spoons. He’s growing up so fast...” Carving wasn’t his strongest skill but he was getting better at it, and he had proudly carved a few bowls for them to use around the home, as well as some spoons for soup. Why not try to make some more, bigger now, for their boy?

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“Helped them?” Scepticism filled Lilith’s voice and expression as she looked back at the evidence of his so-called ‘help’ once more. It was true mortals were prone to falling into the trap of failing to be careful what they wished for, signing eternal contracts without any real, necessary thought, and Lilith would readily agree that they had no one to really blame but themselves. But this was too violent and long-standing a grudge for them simply to be victims of their own stupidity. At least, not entirely. 
“The threat you saved them from wasn’t as terrible as the one that little artefact would have protected them against?” Lilith guessed, easily reading between the lines, just as an axe came hurtling through the air, flying past her ear and embedding in a tree. Though it missed her entirely, she couldn’t ignore that whoever had thrown it had crossed a very dangerous line. 
Without turning around, or even taking the time to slow down the pace of her horse, Lilith raised a hand, flicking it at a sharp and deliberate angle. Immediately there was the sound of bone cracking beneath flesh and the satisfying screams of agony from a man who would never be able to throw an axe again, not even if his life depended on it.
Allowing herself a glance back to see the satisfying results, she also saw that the mob was beginning to fall back a little. Whether out of fear of their location or a desire to retain their own limbs, Lilith wasn’t sure, but she knew that if they continued to pursue, she would no longer allow them the luxury of believing themselves capable of chasing her. She would see each of them dragged to the Nine Circles herself, their souls feeding the flames of Hell. 
“They haven’t exactly compelled me to care about their suffering,” she admitted dismissively. “Whatever consequences there were seem…well-deserved.”
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The man Rumplestiltskin used to be didn’t care if his deals left people in situations such as this. He didn’t care what happened to anyone else, because all that mattered was making his plan work and getting to his son. Who he was now was a different man, a man that would consider the consequences and genuinely try to help. That didn’t matter to some people though, and rightfully so. He wasn’t likely to get forgiveness from many, and he didn’t deserve it from many more.

That didn’t mean this wasn’t upsetting though he wasn’t going to betray that too much. Instead, he focused on her question, a hum of agreement his only answer for now. The artefact would have been enough to help them, they would have been safe, and blood would not have been shed. 

His head turned almost too late to capture the image of what she did, a slight grimace on his face at the scream of the man. That surely was the final nail in the coffin, so to speak, of his reputation. Still, he couldn’t blame her. She wasn’t part of what he had done, but she was going through this regardless. “I confess, i thought the reception wouldn’t be quite so sharp.” He admitted, gently patting the neck of his horse as he spoke. Silently he was conveying relief the animal had come out of that unscathed too. 

“They were never the easiest of people. Often brought conflict upon themselves,” he added. Rationally, even if the artefact had been there, they were likely to still get themselves in to some sort of trouble. It was their history, the way things seemed to always go.

As his horse slowed, Gold, looked over towards Lilith apologetically. “For what it’s worth, as the sun sets this evening, you’ll see what I actually brought you here for... we can leave shortly after, if you’d like.”

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Rosemary sighed softly as she entered the hall of her old home and went inside to see a group of men who she had hung out with over 25 years ago. As she walked in, a man looked up and almost jumped out of his skin. “Hey Dave,” she said with a small smile on her face. Dave blinked once, then twice before hitting the man beside him. “Gaz! Gaz your girl is here,” he said quickly.

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Gaz was sat with his friends, playing a game of cards just like old days. Except this time it was monopoly money they played with. All part of the fun, right? He'd been staring at Lomper, trying to read him to see if he was bluffing or not. Dozy git lucked out with poker half the time, Gaz was sure. He doubted after all these years Lomper even knew the rules, which made it all the more annoying that he was losing this round.

So when Dave spoke he didn't immediately look, until he mentioned the word 'girl'. Well, woman was the inference, and he looked up, freezing as he did so.

"Well fuckin' 'ell..." he mumbed.

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Rosemary smiled at Gaz before the others fully looked at what she looked like. Her hair was still firey red in a ponytail. “Hey guys,” she said before being tackled by Dave. “Jesus! I haven't seen you in years,” he exclaimed happily as everyone else gathered around to give her hugs.

Gaz wasn’t quite sure how to respond right now. Rosemary had made him a happy man, and his life had gone back to shit when she’d left. Alright, leaving meant that he got to be a Dad again to Destiny, who he loved even if he wasn’t exactly the best at showing it. But that didn’t mean he’d not been hurt. “Aye, been a few,” he muttered, looking over at Lomper’s cards when he slightly tilted them too far in his curiosity. The daft git had another good hand!

“You gonna fold yet or what, Lomper?” he asked him, trying to rush his friend so he could win the hand.

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Milah had grown up with very little in terms of money and love. She had been certain that the prickly temper she had cultivated to protect herself as a child would doom her to a life of loneliness. Somehow, though, she had gotten lucky. There was now an abundance of love, and between her husband and her son her heart was full even on the now rare nights her stomach was not. 
And even now, years after the war had sent him home with a limp, his reward for helping a fellow soldier, she thanked the stars and anyone who was listening that he’d returned to her as sweet and as kind as he’d been before he left. It had been a fear of hers when he’d shown her the notice that he would return angry and cruel. She had seen it happen before, both within and without her childhood home. There had been some changes, of course, and she still did her best to soothe the nightmares when they came, but as a whole he was still him.
She did her best to help him with his work, but Milah’s time was mostly spent making certain their small home was in order. Firewood was gathered, rabbits caught in snares around their meager little garden, roots and berries were foraged. She could do more but Milah made certain to keep their house in order while he worked hard, wanting to put in as much effort into their lives as he did.
It was why she was not expecting more on her birthday other than the little cake topped with forest berries she’d made for them to share after supper. (She tried to do that for all their birthdays and what holidays she could, a sweet little treat for them all to look forward to.)
She cupped his face in her hands as her heart melted at his words. “I have everything I could possibly deserve, and more, right here in this room.” She kissed him sweetly but with a bit of a promise for later. Then she made a happy little noise and hugged him tight. “That being said, I love it and it is probably the best gift I’ve ever received.” A beat. “Aside from the presents your son brings me from his adventures.” Even if she did prefer the box, she wouldn’t dare to say that where Baelfire could hear, his happy little face covered in sweet jam as he beamed up at her.
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Despite his childhood and the horrors of battle, Rumple still held on tightly to the things that he felt made him a better man than his Father had ever been. He’d grown up desperate to be part of a family and though he’d felt love from the spinsters that took him in he had always mourned what should have been with his Papa. Resolute since a child himself to never pass on those same feelings of disappointment on to a child of his own, he did his very best each and every day to be the best father and husband he felt himself capable to be.

Which meant taking on little extra jobs, spinning just a touch longer each day to meet the demand he’d allowed for. He’d had saved and saved money aside from that which went in to maintaining the home to make sure that he could provide this for Milah. Neither would expect such extravagant gifts, especially more than once, but this was the ‘one off’ that he felt she so deserved.

The kiss had his lips tingling, cheeks a light tinge of red. Even now those kisses could make his skin heat, such was how he loved her. A serious nod, should their son catch glimpse of it, he knew that making sure Bae felt valued was paramount. Even a leaf with a shape that he felt unique that he bestowed upon them, or a rock that had a smooth surface that he swore was like a gemstone was treated with excitement and joy. “Of course,” he added sagely, even as his hands reached to gently touch her cheeks, his forehead briefly resting against Milah’s. “I love you.”

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Juliet, would you like to go for dinner tonight, just you and I? It's been a while since we had time with just us, and I'd like that.

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Juliet looked up from the homework she was finishing. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d love that! Give me a second to get ready.” She quickly got up and retrieved a pair of shoes from her closet. “Is there any special reason?”

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Juliet smiled to her father. She worried for him sometimes. It wasn’t as though she were thrilled to leave town, wanting to run off and never return. But the idea of never leaving, never seeing this world? It was too frustrating. She had to try. Even if she only stayed one year. But he worried over her so often. At least he had Gideon to worry over now too.
“I don’t blame you, by the way. For anything. For my nightmares or for you leaving. None of it was your fault and none of it was done with intent to harm me. You’ve done nothing but protect me my entire life,” she said. “I may not have always liked it or agreed with it. But I was safe. And I was really happy too. I still am. I just need you to know that. I’m not angry at you.”

He nodded, biting on to his bottom lip as he did so. He blamed himself, and always would do. Whilst he had done what he had whilst raising her to protect her, he knew there were things he could have done differently. She’d lived a lonely life, like he had, and he knew what that did to you. Even now he sometimes questioned why Belle would want to spend time with him, or why Juliet would. He questioned his ability to be the kind of good company that he desired to be, because his own experiences of interacting with people for the most part when he. took on the darkness were with the intention of getting something, not for genuine reasons.

Trying to learn how to unlearn that had been challenging enough. Never mind working with the way being lonely for so long shaped you. So he feared for her, for her wellbeing, because of the way he had effectively ensured she would be lonely. 

“You’re too kind, Juliet. You always have been.”

Juliet gave a simple shrug at his statement. “You’re always saying how there’s no good or bad. Good people do bad things. Bad people do good things. It’s all gray. I think kindness works the same way. Like a scale,” she said. Instantly she was thinking of the old brass scale in the shop. As if she could place tiny trinkets of kindness to see if it outweighed her bitterness or fear.

“Besides, one of us has to have some manners,” she teased him. “It’s a miracle you sell anything while scowling at the customers.”

She had him there, and it was clear in the way he tilted his head towards her in acknowledgement. Good and bad were shades of grey that too many people saw otherwise. For a long time he had been a good man who did a bad thing, and then a bad man that did occasional good. That was if you took it all as a very black and white view. He otherwise considered himself a flawed man with a colourful past, chequered with the dark and the light. More dark than light, he accepted, but he was trying to even that balance more and more each day.

A scoff and a laugh, a grumbled ‘hmm’ contrasted the curl of amusement to his lip. “In my defence, if they weren’t so endlessly irritating, I wouldn’t need to scowl.”

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Rosemary sighed softly as she entered the hall of her old home and went inside to see a group of men who she had hung out with over 25 years ago. As she walked in, a man looked up and almost jumped out of his skin. “Hey Dave,” she said with a small smile on her face. Dave blinked once, then twice before hitting the man beside him. “Gaz! Gaz your girl is here,” he said quickly.

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Gaz was sat with his friends, playing a game of cards just like old days. Except this time it was monopoly money they played with. All part of the fun, right? He'd been staring at Lomper, trying to read him to see if he was bluffing or not. Dozy git lucked out with poker half the time, Gaz was sure. He doubted after all these years Lomper even knew the rules, which made it all the more annoying that he was losing this round.

So when Dave spoke he didn't immediately look, until he mentioned the word 'girl'. Well, woman was the inference, and he looked up, freezing as he did so.

"Well fuckin' 'ell..." he mumbed.

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@justmilah​ continued from here.

Money was never going to be something that they were surrounded by, but for Rumple and Milah they had something far more valuable; love. He loved his family more than anything in the realms, and he always wanted to do whatever he could to put a smile on her face (and their son’s, too).

He wasn’t always the best at remembering dates, far too focused on trying to earn a few coins to make sure they ate well or could heat their home. He spun some nights until his fingers ached, such was his dedication to his family. He’d made a conscious effort though to remember this, having been unable to get the image of her staring so adoringly at the mahogany box from his mind. 

Seeing that convinced him of one thing; he would buy her that box, no matter how much he had to scrimp and save to do so.

For a brief moment he’d worried he’d bought the wrong one, but her confirmation it was indeed the same box had his tense shoulders relaxing, a breath escaping him. 

“Absolutely certain, I promise. I-- I just wanted you to have something special. Like you deserve.”

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It wasn’t quite a warm welcome in the realm. In fact, it was far from it. A few hundred years ago Rumple had made a deal that got him a gemstone he needed as part of the very long line of trading until he reached his end goals. It would appear that the person who did the trade with him had used his own prize from it for nefarious reasons and thus, ill will had grown since towards the man responsible for ‘giving’ him that.

That was precisely why Gold was currently on the back of a horse galloping wildly away from a braying mob, quite literally chasing he and Lilith with pitchforks. Admittedly a part of him found humour in this, but he was trying to ignore that.

Instead, he was just aiming to get them to the little cabin in the middle of the woods that he’d set up for their stay in this realm. A stay that would appear to be shorter than intended.

“….never quite liked pitchforks!” he called out over the gallops to Lilith.

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magaprima

He had warned her that there might be a less than warm welcome in some of the areas of some of these realms he had invited her to explore, promising to show her things that even someone as ancient and experienced as herself might find to be new and exciting. She had not, however, expected the hatred to be quite so vehement or violent. 

“I’ve never, personally, been chased by them,” Lilith countered, glancing back disdainfully at the pitchforks in question. On the rare occasion Lilith had been discovered, when there had been active ill-will, she had usually been gone long before anyone could attempt to attack her with farming tools. Not that they would dare, she imagined, or that it would hurt her. But it was the principle. 

“Several centuries is an impressive time to hold a grudge,” Lilith had a certain degree of admiration in her voice as she looked back at Rumple. “What exactly did you do?”

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A turn of his head back towards those on chase, Rumple was pleased to see their numbers thinning as they tired. A mercy for them, as he didn’t want to use his magic in this instance. It wouldn’t have been anything to harm them, but it wouldn’t have helped his reputation in the area.

“I helped someone here!” He called back, even if his tone spoke volumes in how it had decidedly not helped. “I made a deal. Protected them from an oncoming attack, in return for an artefact I needed.” A pause as he guided his horse to turn up through woodland that would cause the rest of those giving chase to drop off, he shrugged a shoulder. “It... led to other consequences for them that they blamed me for.”

He’d protected them, but in doing so he’d stopped a chain of events from happening that would protect them from a much more brutal invader that it had taken them many years and lives to turn away on their own. It wasn’t necessarily his fault, but he could have used his gifts to see that outcome and prevented it somehow. But he hadn’t bothered to try. It wouldn’t be how he conducted himself now, but it was par for the course for him back then.

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Belle: I just want to hear those three little words before you leave.

Rumple: I love you?

Belle: That's sweet, but try again.

Rumple: I will behave.

Belle: There we go.

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It wasn’t quite a warm welcome in the realm. In fact, it was far from it. A few hundred years ago Rumple had made a deal that got him a gemstone he needed as part of the very long line of trading until he reached his end goals. It would appear that the person who did the trade with him had used his own prize from it for nefarious reasons and thus, ill will had grown since towards the man responsible for ‘giving’ him that.

That was precisely why Gold was currently on the back of a horse galloping wildly away from a braying mob, quite literally chasing he and Lilith with pitchforks. Admittedly a part of him found humour in this, but he was trying to ignore that.

Instead, he was just aiming to get them to the little cabin in the middle of the woods that he’d set up for their stay in this realm. A stay that would appear to be shorter than intended.

“....never quite liked pitchforks!” he called out over the gallops to Lilith.

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Anonymous asked:

What do you consider the best day of your life?

The day I met my newborn son. I loved him the moment we knew Milah was pregnant, but despite the circumstances around my return home, the moment I held him in my arms I was... I was his, entirely. There's nothing like the love you have for your child. That moment, the first time he looked at me was the most beautiful moment of my life.

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“Well, in that case, I have to imagine you’ve never really explored all the many options there are,” Lilith countered, a smirk pulling at the corner of her lips. “So many people, so many creatures, walk that fine line between pain and pleasure, knowing precisely how to find the joys of both in the same violent act. Of course,” she added, “no pain has ever brought me greater pleasure than…thrusting a blade into the back of the very fallen angel who had made my own life painful for millennia. His screams were…” Lilith trailed off, her mind going back to that day, that blissful memory, the sound of his pain and his suffering, the way he’d begged for the smallest slice of mercy, trying to win her over. “positively life-giving.”
Lilith gave Rumple a knowing look. “Well, I can’t deny that victory over an enemy is always a cause for celebration, easing any pain” She admitted, before cocking her head a little, studying him curiously. “Didn’t you feel that with your own enemies? Your own…persistently irritating adversaries?” No one lived as long as they did, had the power they had, made their choices, without some enemies being…collected along the way. “When you outwitted them, saw them crumpled beneath your feet, defeated, didn’t that victory ease your own pains, those losses?” It didn’t undo things, or bring people back, but there was something there…something Lilith found herself taking strength from, giving her the…inspiration for whatever came next.
Lilith studied Rumple for a long moment, her blue eyes flickering over his features as she read every piece of him, trying to gauge just how sincere the offer was, how genuine. 
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“Alright,” she finally said quietly, nodding a little in agreement. “Show me. Though if you really are unwelcome in some realms, I have to admit I’m curious about just what precisely it was you did to offend them so permanently. But you’re right; I’m more than prepared for any…hostile situations,” she confirmed. “If you are captured, however, I won’t be coming after you. Not unless I need you in order to leave,” she added with a smile, only half-joking.

There was something entirely captivating about how she spoke. So much so that he found his chin lifting at her pointed words, a shiver running through him. There would always be a part of him drawn to the darkness - how could he not be when he carried the embodiment of it within him as the darkness - even though he strove to be a better man. The delicate balance was one he liked to think he had learned to master, but yet there was always a risk of not. 

What also struck him was the immediate guilt he felt at the thrill Lilith gave him. There was something electric between the two of them, a connection that was more than surface. Much more. Yet, his mind drifted to Belle and the guilt hit him. She was dead, she wasn’t here and yet even the smallest of attraction he felt for someone, a flicker of a thought made him feel guilt. Yet, how could he not feel a connection to someone who so thoroughly understood what it was like to carry the darkness with you as Lilith did?

“Well,” he began, a slight chuckle as he tried to shift his thoughts to more polite ones. “I don’t doubt for a single second how satisfying that felt. I’m pleased for you that you have that experience to hold on to.” To exact such revenge against someone who so wronged you was, he could not deny, exceptional to experience.

There was a hint of a smile to his lips, a tilt of his head as he couldn’t deny that there were moments when the pain was eased, albeit temporarily, by his victories. “Hm,” he mused, “There were moments when the pain eased. When I carried the pleasure of victory and enjoyed it for what it was. But, my pain stemmed primarily from losing my son. Even now, that pain can override the good of a day if I allow it. I’ve learned better to manage it, and to embrace the joys of other experiences. Sometimes, in the moment, the victory felt good. But then I’d return to my castle and see his shawl, or sit alone at my spinning wheel, and the joys would fade. I’m more accustomed to melancholy than joy, I must confess. Brief celebrations through victory, but brief being the operative word.” Even when he’d killed his Father - for the second time - the joy he’d felt in victory, in outwitting him had been replaced by a sadness through loss. Every moment he had enjoyed through his years of victory, however small or large, somehow had been overshadowed by something else. At his very core, Rumplestiltskin was a lonely man, the shadow of which had always cast over the light and bright.

Only when he and Belle had escaped away to live a lifetime together had the balance tipped and he’d found joy in his life, with very little sorrow in the background.

Still. Life had to go on, and he had to try his best to hold on to the lessons of those years. To see and experience life, instead of allowing that melancholy to settle. So far he was doing a fine enough job.

A laugh, his lips curving once more in a very real smile, he tilted his head towards her. “I suppose I need to make sure I make myself thoroughly useful in that case,” he joked, briefly waving his hand over both of their glasses in order to refill them with their drink of choice. He didn’t tend to use magic so frivolously these days, but just this one wouldn’t hurt. It allowed him to lift his glass up in a toast, offering his glass outward for her to clink against her own. “To seeing just how welcome, or unwelcome I prove to be in these realms.”

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