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one off gag from my notes
dapperpea reblogged
One of the greatest kindnesses you can do for other adults is to add positive surprises to their lives. Think about it: When you're a kid, surprises are things like "Our teacher let us watch a movie today," "someone brought cupcakes for their birthday," "my parents got me a puppy," etc. But when you become an adult, surprises are things like your car breaking down, conflicts at work, and unexpected bills. No one plans fun surprises for adults, and you can do so much for morale if you do. Ex: One time I found a tiny unlocked door in one of my university's buildings. It was empty, but because I'm a whimsical bitch, I decided to put something fun behind it for the next person curious enough to open it. See below: The Egg Gnome.
The eggs were filled with tiny plastic plants (I tried candy first, but mice got into them, and that's not good for health and safety). Just for the hell of it, I decided to announce the hidden gnome and basket of eggs in the big college group chat, offering hints to which building it was in. People went BONKERS for it. It added fun to people's days as they inspected buildings they went into every day but didn't pay much attention to. They asked me for hints, tried to remember what building had those floor tiles, and proudly announced it in the chat when they had found eggs.
I did several things like that where I just hid things around the university and challenged people to find them, and it did so much for student morale. Some people messaged me to tell me my random antics were their only source of real fun on a daily basis. Adults are just big kids. We're supposed to play long into adulthood, and the games are just supposed to scale in complexity with age, but even simple things like a scavenger or prize hunt can make people so much happier. If you have any kind of morale-keeping duties or have the option to take them on at a school, workplace, etc., I highly recommend planning fun surprises for the people around you. Planned events are a lot of fun, but it's a totally different kind of fun to find out there's a scavenger hunt going on on a random Tuesday.
As I type this, my coworkers are exclaiming over an adult busy book one of them was given out of the blue - fun papers and paperclips and textured pages and even a few scent sachets! It's unique and beautiful and she loves it.
Earlier in the year, I bought a 12 pack of these for like 2 dollars.
I hid them all over the office - I thought they'd find one every few days but came in to find one of my coworkers actively and eagerly hunting them all down! She'd found all but two by the time I got there. She even helped hide some again so other coworkers could look for them when they came in. Everyone has their own chicken at their desks and at the employee computers. Some have been decorated (one has butterfly wings!) and for a while one was "sunbathing" with a little lifesaver floatie.
We need whimsy! We need enrichment! It doesn't have to be much to make people happy and it's always worth the time and effort to set it up.
PSA for fanfic writers
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Snoozin with the twins Charleismeant has a very 'younger siblings he never had' relationship with the twins
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yeah. i've got the wikipedia page for rat. on cassette.
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my problem as a writer and as a roleplayer is that I always want characters to do that thing where you hold your hand out, palm to the ground, and kind of tilt it quickly left and right to express uncertainty or a "kinda-sorta"/"yes and no" vibe. but I don't know an official term for this so I always just call it the Noncommittal Hand Waggle
somebody appears to have responded to this post... via the contact form on bandcamp, using the burner email "[email protected]"
It is the sign of the scales. The scales have not settled and they waggle back and forth. Like this like that.
and you know what. I never thought about that before but it's probably right. why the fuck would you tell me this via the bandcamp contact form of all things, and why would you phrase it like you're writing an esoteric treatise encoded via metaphor
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Source: tiktok.com
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heart - shaped scallion found In pho . reblog for good luck & yummy soup 500000 forwver
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I was explaining the numb white scars on my right index finger, and someone asked "but why would you put your finger against the blade of a hand mixer" and the entire chat repeated "intrusive thoughts" and "call of the void" immediately and almost in synch. And people started talking about how they've injured themselves that way, and a few people said they learned a genuine lesson.
yikes. I've almost never had that with anything -- but I have felt the siren call of the Hobart Dough Hook
This is an industrial stand mixer (often it has a grating attachment to that round top port sticking out like a pipe end on the top left of the pic) and Hobart is a very popular brand for these machines, which are often nearly as tall as a person
the thing hanging from the mixing arm into the bowl part is a dough hook
it looks like this and spins around mixing the dough
Here is a smaller one, but you can see what it looks like when it goes
So one of my first kitchens, everyone who got shown how to use the enormous 5ft tall Hobart we had, they got some variation of this speech:
"DO NOT reach into the mixer while it's on. I know, you think that now, but you're going to get comfortable around it, it's going to seem like it's moving slow, and you're going to feel like reaching in there to check the dough or something without turning it off. DON'T. DO THAT. One guy a couple years ago went to the hospital with every bone in his arm broken and a dislocated shoulder and it was from reaching into this exact machine we're using today. You're going to feel like you can reach in real quick without stopping the machine, and I'm telling you, turn it off first."
I got that speech too, and sure enough, there came a day when I felt the urge. Which i resisted. But then. Then there started to be reasons to reach in there.
Like maybe the person using the grating attachment hadn't cleaned the port good enough and a couple of strips of grated carrot fell onto the dough, where it would stay sort of oscillating on the top of the dough ball for a little bit before getting sucked down to be kneaded deep into the dough. It's a single button to stop the machine, but, for some reason it just seems like such a hassle, and you've always wanted to do it, c'mon, look how slow it's moving...
So i did. And it was fine! Altho i could see why people get it wrong, what seemed like about a 3 second window actually turned out to be less than a full second once you got your hand down there, and there really wasn't as much space as it seemed like there was, and the angle you had to go at did slow you down just a little... But now that i knew all that, i should be fine to do it as long as i was careful, right?
Then one day it happened. I must of brushed ever so slightly against the metal of the dough hook. It is shaped and moving in a way designed to draw material in toward the center and down and it tugged my hand ever so slightly in and down.
Which would have been fine but I was already touching the dough, so it tugged my fingers into the dough just enough for it to get the slightest grip on them, which tugged my hand in just enough to get caught between the hook and the dough which gripped it surprisingly hard and yanked my hand down and in a circle like having someone hold your hand tightly and spin in a circle and all my joints locked up against each other painfully so fast!
Luckily I was able to get my arm out before I suffered more than a sore shoulder, hurt elbow, and sprained wrist and sprained finger... but things went from totally fine to sheer panic faster than anything i've ever experienced.
Even so, only a week later and barely recovered, I caught myself just before i reached my hand into the dough bowl while it was on, the siren call of the Hobart singing strongly still.
So many people felt it. I heard so many close call stories. Some models like the Hobart 660 comes with this wire cage safety guard now, and I guarentee it is 100% because no matter how you warn people, they can't resist reaching in while it's running
this machine sounds sentient and like it should be in scp containment
I'm a big fan of wizards-as-programmers, but I think it's so much better when you lean into programming tropes.
- A spell the wizard uses to light the group's campfire has an error somewhere in its depths, and sometimes it doesn't work at all. The wizard spends a lot of his time trying to track down the exact conditions that cause the failure.
- The wizard is attempting to create a new spell that marries two older spells together, but while they were both written within the context of Zephyrus the Starweaver's foundational work, they each used a slightly different version, and untangling the collisions make a short project take months of work.
- The wizard has grown too comfortable reusing old spells, and in particular, his teleportation spell keeps finding its components rearranged and remixed, its parts copied into a dozen different places in the spellbook. This is overall not actually a problem per se, but the party's rogue grows a bit concerned when the wizard's "drying spell" seems to just be a special case of teleportation where you teleport five feet to the left and leave the wetness behind.
- A wizard is constantly fiddling with his spells, making minor tweaks and changes, getting them easier to cast, with better effects, adding bells and whistles. The "shelter for the night" spell includes a tea kettle that brings itself to a boil at dawn, which the wizard is inordinately pleased with. He reports on efficiency improvements to the indifference of anyone listening.
- A different wizard immediately forgets all details of his spells after he's written them. He could not begin to tell you how any of it works, at least not without sitting down for a few hours or days to figure out how he set things up. The point is that it works, and once it does, the wizard can safely stop thinking about it.
- Wizards enjoy each other's company, but you must be circumspect about spellwork. Having another wizard look through your spellbook makes you aware of every minor flaw, and you might not be able to answer questions about why a spell was written in a certain way, if you remember at all.
- Wizards all have their own preferences as far as which scripts they write in, the formatting of their spellbook, its dimensions and material quality, and of course which famous wizards they've taken the most foundational knowledge from. The enlightened view is that all approaches have their strengths and weaknesses, but this has never stopped anyone from getting into a protracted argument.
- Sometimes a wizard will sit down with an ancient tome attempting to find answers to a complicated problem, and finally find someone from across time who was trying to do the same thing, only for the final note to be "nevermind, fixed it".
- "This spell causes the hair to fall off cats." "It works with my tome"
- "This spell causes the hair to fall off cats." "That's fixed in Xaranthius' latest publication, you just have to rewrite your entire spellbook for compatibility."
- "This spell causes the hair to fall of cats." "Magister Olaus of Writhington uses it to help with his allergies. WORKING AS INTENDED."
I want to see wizards snarking at each other over different magical languages/scripts, the same way programmers do it over different languages.
- Sure, "High Tower is a powerful language, but it's such a pain to write. I just use Unity* as it's simple to write and can do nearly everything I need" "cranky because you can't memorize all the conjugations and declensions, aren't you?" "LOOK MAN, I CAN MEMORIZE ANYTHING, INCLUDING THE FACE OF YOUR MOTHER IN ECSTASY. IN FACT, BEHOLD!" *a little time window appears between them, demonstrating exactly that. The first wizard (seen through the window) turns around and winks at the "camera".
- "you kids today with your lizardman. How can you get anything done in a language without gendered pronouns? It's like fingerpainting. Sure you can learn on it but once you've got the basics you should switch over to a REAL language"
- "the Kalic have been here already. We better get out before the rest of their army marches in." "how can you be sure?" "you see that teleport?" "no" "well, if you COULD see it, you'd see it's written in Adevic Yevi. That's the Kalic magic language." "couldn't it be someone else? We saw those Monon traders, maybe one of them..." "no. No one writes Adevic Yevi unless they're being paid to. It's a language written by committee."
- Wizards going on a quest to get the spellbooks for a lost spell, only to find out that it was written in skydove cant. No one can read that shit! The creator must have been one of those weird "functional wizards". (They're obsessed with making sure their spells have no side effects)
- There's a small library on the outskirts of Freeport which tries to collect versions of basic spells in every language. The Adevic Yevi version of "fireball" takes up 7 pages, mostly boilerplate setting up the interfaces with fire and explosions and ExplodingMagicalBallFactorySingletons. The Lizardman version is basically "AHAHAHA, YOU GO BOOM!"
- There's a bunch of wizard apprentices working on porting an old "Summon Bread and Fishes" spell from the absolutely archaic language it was written in. Once it's in Unity, it'll be easy to modify and teach to more wizards, which'll obviously be good for disaster areas. It's just too expensive to keep paying the ancient guys who can still do magic in TRAN-FOR.
- Eccentric wizards keep inventing new languages for spells. You look at them and they're neat, but it'll never catch on. And either you're right, or the next time you're applying to be a court wizard, the advisors want to know if you have at least 5 years experience in Tilted Runic and you're like "it only came out 2 years ago!" "aren't you a chronomancer?" "oh good point. Yeah I've been using it for 20-30 years."
- There's wizards who will spend incredible amounts of time doing silly things with spells in strange ways. There's this guy (Vorth) who made his own language where there's only one basic spell: fireball. Everything else is basic magic glue tying multiple fireballs together. So like, he's got a breakfast spell. Stand back (good advice for all his spells), and you'll see a fish get knocked out of the local pond, flung through the air by successive explosions, and eventually it lands on his plate, nicely cooked and deboned, if slightly charred (the glass of milk is harder to explain). His magical door locks involve a quicksilver sphere and molten lead changing shape when heated... It's tricky but it seems to work. He's working on a teleport spell, but so far it's mainly just killed test subjects (primarily sheep from a nearby farm).
* so the funny thing here is that this isn't a reference to the unity game engine. The main country in my One Hundred and One Magical Pistols setting is called "the union" and their language is called "unity".
It's wands vs staves vs bare hands.
Wanders are like "they're available everywhere and once you learn how to do it it's so powerful!"
Staffguys always talk about how you can do ANYTHING with a staff. Wanders claim it's a pain to carry around an overpowered device that can do ANYTHING when you just need to cast fireball or a simple one man teleport.
Meanwhile the bare wizards are showing off how they don't need any magical tools and can just do hand motions.
Wanders and staffguys retort that when a spell goes wrong, THEY need to go to store for a new magical tool. YOU need new hands.
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i am reminded of that time my mom went
mom: oh god, you're turning into one of those people who read for enjoyment only
me: what?
mom: one should not read only for enjoyment!
me: what should one read for then?
mom: for personal growth. knowing new perspectives. expanding your world. for the art of literature itself
me, artless: oh ok
i hope when you look at my stuff you enjoy yourself, in any way, even if just a small bit, for a little time
if you don't like it then there's no need to look at it. there's nothing i'm doing that's worth having a bad time for
something i've found weirdly difficult to convey to people for, like, My Whole Life, is that i do read difficult and puzzling and slow books on purpose because i am actively enjoying it (sickos.jpg style) and not for self-flagellating purposes. adults loooooved shaming their kids for reading comics or playing videogames like LOOK AT CARMINE! HE'S READING VENERABLE CLASSIC NOVELS AND LEARNING NEW VALUABLE THINGS WHILE YOU WASTE YOUR TIME PLAYING POKEMON LIKE A BRAINLESS ZOMBIE!! and i was like maam i don't know how to tell you me reading this 19th century short story collection dealing with the inner workings of a literal brothel is not a painful catholic guilt-fueled punishment i vouched to take for Self Improvement Purposes. at the end of the day literature is just One Thing. i don't care much for artistic iceskating, i'm not considering it my moral duty to suffer through iceskating competitions for Self-Improvement Purposes? literature is not *special*, and shame and guilt are the worst approaches to anything, honestly
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the older I get the more I think being in love is about helping your partner give erotic birth to whatever weird unknowable thing is inside of them and the more this concept starts expressing itself in my work
I don’t want to look at her and see me, I don’t need to see me, I want to see her unfold and unfurl like one of the sled dogs in the Thing, I want to see who she turns into in that space of total permission
Aspencore
the tone makes this sound like they have a recurring problem with people trying to join after a bad breakup and are just sick of this shit
'People who are getting away from a bad breakup' was a major source of recruits for the French Foreign Legion.
I have worked a lot of remote jobs and you have no idea how common it is for someone who just had or got out of a bad interpersonal relationship to decide that they need to find themselves out in the woods and work on their issues, so then they go and get a job that requires close contact with limited group of people and no one else for months on end. And then when they make their bad decisions, (the rebound boyfriend, the one night stand, the long drawn out cry sesh with a bottle of booze in the middle of the night on a work day) they're still stuck with the same 6 people on a mountaintop for another 7 weeks who are all forced into front row seats to bear witness to the ongoing character development until the guy who is nominally in charge has to make a rule about no fucking in the cook tent, because its the only structure big enough for us all to get out of the rain and while we're all glad that Sarah is taking charge of her own life after her boyfriend cheated on her by fucking literally the only eligible man for 200 miles in every direction, the rest of us would like a hot meal.
You'll want to keep the sound off, it's just horrible crackling from me moving the phone. But. I got some REALLY COOL glasses today. They look glass, but they're acrylic plastic. I told my mom I thought that the bottom color would cause the water above it to shift colors, due to the design of the 'pillars' on the outside or whatever, and I was right. Except it's even cooler, because from the side it still looks clear, so I'll get the rainbow shift effect every time I tip it to take a drink. This will be a DELIGHT for me, every time.
Editing to add that this is a "crystal" (collection name) tumbler from Merritt designs. They make others (that I suspect do the same thing), however I think this exact design isn't around on their site anymore so it may no longer be in production.
Oh, it just dawned…It looks clear, but it's actually reflections…You can't actually see through to the opposite side of the glass, making this apperance no different than a cup painted black on the outside, while having an ornate, surreal, multi-colored rainbow design on the inside…
Nope it's clear!
The color just comes from refracted light from the cup design. The only color on it is in the bottom, the rest is clear acrylic.
Without water in it, it only refracts up the pillars on the sides.
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was talking to my friend about emmrich and i wanted to say i'd never leave emmrich's side but the words that came out instead were "i'd follow him emmrywhere"
tfw the old man brainrot is so strong it infects the language nerve
it's inoperable, sorry. this is your life now xD
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Gabriel-cat is HERE✨ (with a box and so many names)🤭
🎶Everyday it's a-gettin' closer🎶
I imagined him as a Russian Blue💙
Notes: Yes, he has two beds. First one (the hanged one) is mostly his watchtower~ And, the box. That box🤭 Cats like boxes, right?
Should I draw Beelzebub too?🐈⬛🪰
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MY TA SHOT SOMEONE IN THE FOOT AND THE PROFESSOR WAS SO FUCKING QUICK LMAOOO
some context
1. my TA, Ralph, shot his girlfriend’s abusive ex in the foot
2. abusive ex was also a sex offender
3. he shot him when ex came buy to pick some stuff up from girlfriend and tried to take some of Ralph’s items as well
4. ex is stable and alive in a hospital
5. i didn’t do assignment 8 so i am very happy
some more Facts About Ralph
he is whiter then snow. this man is pure 100% american redneck in everything but the politics. this is intimidating if you dont know him because he owns like 3 different guns but also has animated discussions about “how his sister should be able to get married” when you bring up lgbt rights. his sister isnt even gay or trans or anything, he just thinks that LGBT rights also means that the lady should propose when she wants to. hes a little confused but he got the spirit. upon finding out that i am queer he said, word for word “THATS FUCKING RADICAL HOMIE”
in the first week of school he snorted a line of pepper in the cafeteria and threw up.
the only other crime hes committed before was accidently dropping a weight from his balcony and cracking the sidewalk. which is technically destruction of public property but the judge basically laughed at him and have him 10 hours of community service
this man once walked me home when i stayed late at the lab and talked to me animatedly about breeding brine shrimp for different lab purposes. absolutely captivated by this discussion. i trust him with my life
oh mg god this post somehow got better
Ralph has achieved Peak Graduate Student