stranger things kids as john mulaney quotes

Eleven: “Excuse me, I’m new in town and it gets worse.”

Will: “I have had a very long day. I am very small. And I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.”

Mike: “’Cause you know how you lie to your parents?”

Lucas: “I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing.”

Dustin: “They’re like, ‘Does that work?’ I’m like, ‘It didn’t NOT work.’”

Max: “Sometimes, babies will point at me. And I don’t care for that shit at all.” 

Steve: “Part of me was like, whatever, you know, you know those days when you’re like this might as well happen? Our life is already so goddamn weird.”

Nancy: ♫ And life is a fucking nightmare ♫

Jonathan: “When I’m walking down the street, no one’s ever like, ‘Hey look at that man.’ I think they’re just like, ‘Whoa, that tall child looks terrible! Get some rest, tall child! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!’”

Billy: “Well… you know how I’m filled with rage? I’m so horny and angry all the time and I have no outlet for it. So… eggs.” 

(BONUS ADULTS)

Joyce: “I think Emily Dickinson’s a lesbian.”

Hopper: “It is 100% easier not to do things than to do them.”

Bob: “I look like I was just sitting in a room in a chair eating Saltines for like 28 years and then I walked right out here.”

when someone says I’m being over dramatic

No but this is actually me with every little petty issue I have

david: virgo, libra, sagittarius, taurus  alex: LEO, gemini, aries table: cancer, pisces, scorpio, aquarius

*walks into H&M*

Dan on phil’s birthday: Happy birthday to the sun, i would die without you. thank you for being the light of my life Phil on dan’s birthday: Hbd dan !

The 1975 // Chocolate

The signs as things my dad has said to me

Aries: “Tell the cops to wait, I’m playing Call of Duty.”

Taurus: “Fuck it, I’m going to Canada.”

Gemini: “COME HOME THIS INSTANT I ACCIDENTALLY MADE 144 COOKIES.”

Cancer:  (playing cod) “I can’t hear you over the sound of me kicking all these twelve-year-olds’ asses.”

Leo: (pointing to a bruise on my hand) “Is that a hickey?”

Virgo:  “Don’t tell your mom, but I’m happy for the gays.”

Libra: “Sad movies are dumb.  I don’t want to pay ten dollars to cry for two hours.  I do that every day for free.”

Scorpio: “I want the board to change my job title from CEO to supreme leader.”

Saggitarius: “The only reason I have a facebook is to embarass your mom.”

Capricorn: “I have a crush on Eric Dane.”

Aquarius: “I’m hiding from your mother because I just told her to fight me and I’m scared she’ll win.”

Pisces: “When I die, make sure I get a viking funeral.  If I’m getting cremated, I’m getting cremated like a badass.”

Mitt Romney is going to kill donald trump and I support him

#mitt romney redemption arc

my favorite part of making gifs is seeing dan’s frame by frame reaction to what phil is saying

there’s a buzzfeed quiz where you have to guess if this is a harry styles tweet or an indie band name and it’s the hardest thing ever fuck that kid

http://www.buzzfeed.com/k8mcgarry/harry-styles-tweet-or-indie-band-name-1bnrw#.vida1WZoq

Prairie dog baths and misterwives