Small kids will look up at you and with no prompting be like “umdidjyou no dat um one time my mommy and me um we um we we we went to da zoo and when I was there um last summer we went to da zoo and didjyou no what was dere? A koala I seen those on Wild Krats.”

Like wow you have no idea how conversation works but boy are you giving it your all - I will stand here and look mildly surprised the whole time and when you’re done I’ll say “really?” And you will nod and look so victorious.

This is why they say that the kindergarten teacher will know more about what's going on in your house than you do. I used to work with kindergartners and preschoolers and kids will just tell you whatever's on their mind if they feel safe doing so. I was always very quick to show kids that I was interested in what they were saying so I have had countless unprompted conversations about Moana, dead family pets, and how Darth Vader controls the weather.

It's pretty plain that the aesthetic gendering of young children has gotten ever more drastic over the last couple of decades, what with formerly gender-neutral toys being remarketed in "girl" and "boy" versions and the intense "oh you wanted to save money?? Sike, no way you can socially acceptably hand this down to their little 'other gender' sibling now!" level distinguishing of all the cheaper clothes, and I'm primarily bothered by how it can't be good for the kids themselves, but I also feel just... so, so bad, for the parents (and of course this falls mostly on mothers) who feel the pressure to keep up a "sufficiently feminine" beauty routine on behalf of their three year old.

Like, in the 90s I was told "you're a girl" and all that came with that, and yeah it was shit all by itself, but at least my mother got to dress me in track pants and a little 90s patterned windbreaker (which both my younger brothers and my younger sister then inherited) and just cut my hair off at jaw length until I was of an age to independently have a grooming routine. I remember being told "you can have long hair when you can reasonably promise to look after it yourself" - and I remember this being actually really normal, lots of girls in my primary school classes "finally got to" grow their hair out somewhere around age 7-8, and before they got to that stage their parents just... kept it at a level a child could keep clean more easily.

But now I see girls in daycare, many of whom can't even wipe their own butts independently yet, with hair down to their waist that they can barely keep out of their porridge, and parents I know going "oh god, I'm so tired but I have to give (their six year old) a shower... sure she'd be able to do it herself if she didn't have that hair, but she does! God, am I a bad mother for not managing?" ...like, what the fuck? The sheer volume of resources, extra time, waste of easy hand me downs, etc that go into making little kids perform gender - and that are thus expected from parents under pressure to "properly" gender their children - truly boggle the mind.

First cat video ever? 1899, colorized & speed corrected.

Okay, I didn’t believe it was truly a 1899 film but... here’s the original version.

And boy, that’s what I call a restoration!

has anything ever delivered better content than nfl mic’ed up

this conversation... absolutely wonderful

i was with my mother’s family and they were talking to me about my religious studies major. my great aunt asked me what the definition of hell was, and i responded “well i suppose it depends on who you ask.” and nearly all the protestants in the group decided that hell was “the absence of god” which i suppose is a fair answer, albeit not a universal one. my cousin’s wife was playing with her 3-year-old daughter and she says “well mommy says that hell is a mcdonald’s playplace” asdfghjhgfd

this 3-year-old girl is so fucking hilarious. her mothers have signed her up for a toddler yoga class, and so she has adopted a very unique language. this child also has an imaginary friend named “mom” which is, in her mind, the boss of her two mothers. for example, my cousin’s wife explained to me how her daughter got mad at them one time. the little girl situated herself in the corner of her crib, pretended to type on a cell phone and said  “im writing an email to mom right now and telling her how bad you two are. namaste.”

the family’s Big Theory about “Mom” is that both my cousin and her wife are referred to as “Mommy” and “Mama.” The nickname “Mom” is not used in the house because it would just be confusing. However, when interacting with the world, people tell their daughter that they will “tell her mom” if she is doing something wrong. so this child automatically assumes there is this greater “Mom” figure that is responsible for distributing universal justice. 

To be fair to the toddler, that’s pretty much how religions get started.

Our Mom, who art gonna hear about this,

Before COVID shut the library down, I was helping a little boy and his mom find books.

“What do you like to read about?” I asked. “Dinosaurs!” This is common request, but can mean different things, “Okay. Do you want a story about dinosaurs, or facts about dinosaurs?” “Facts.” I took him to the dinosaur section (567.9) of the juvenile nonfiction. He picked out a couple books, and I asked him if there was anything else he was looking for. “Do you have anything on DNA?” I had to think about that for a second. “I think so…but I’ll have to look it up.” The boy beamed, “I want to find out how DNA works, so I can bring them back!” “We just saw Jurassic Park,” his mom explained with a smile that did not waver when she added, “We didn’t learn anything.”

Hack the planet. 

SHES IN THE SYSTEM!!!!

*hacker voice*

AAAAAAAAAAA

[Video description: A video of a toddler standing at a laptop on a low table, mimicking typing by mashing her fingers into the keys. Two people behind the camera talk as the baby types.

Person 1: Hack the cloud.

Person 2: Hack the cloud, hack the cloud, girl.

1: Hacking hacking… wait, are you in the mainframe? Get in the mainframe!

(The baby points at something on the screen)

1: Yeah, there’s the mainframe. Get it!

(Person 2 laughs)

1: Get in the mainframe!

(The baby looks up and yells excitedly)

1: Yeah! We’re in!

2: Yes! Get it, girl, get it!

1: We’re in!

2: Hacking hacking hacking! Go go go!

(Baby starts excitedly slapping the keys with open hands)

(Person 2 wheezily laughs)

1: That’s what I do too.

End description.]

I was so proud when he didn't spill the milk

That one time we got accidentally locked out of the house. I remember that FOR ME it was a fun adventure!

THIS IS ADORABLE

there’s nothing purer or better than how much kids enjoy being picked up and then hurled at soft surfaces

anyone who’s ever been around kids for ay meaningful amount of time should know exactly how much kids long to be hefted up and then just fuckin tossed! it’s so good! they’re so excited to get fucking tossed around like a sack of potatoes it’s so pure

Why do kids love it so much? Like I remember when I was a kid at diving practice during the summer, the best part was when one if the coaches would toss you into the deep end. And in gymnastics coaches would toss us into the foam pit. Do kids just have a evolutionary urge to die?

https://themilitarywifeandmom.com/why-kids-wont-listen/

“Vestibular sense provides information about where the body is in relation to its surroundings. This is the sense that helps you understand balance, and it connects with all the other senses.

When the vestibular system does not develop properly all other senses will struggle to function properly. Without a strong vestibular sense, kids will have no choice but to fidget, get frustrated, experience more falls and aggression, get too close to people when talking, and struggle with focusing and listening. Because they literally cannot help it.”

“Here are a few ways to support your child’s vestibular sense:

Yeeting kids, spinning them, flipping them upside down, tossing them in the air, and otherwise disrupting their balance temporarily, is Important For Their Development, specifically for their vestibular sense.

Kids love this because they NEED it.

In other words: Don’t forget to calibrate your child’s GPS!

YEET THE CHILD FOR THEIR HEALTH

Hi! Paediatric Occupational Therapist here who yeets children into pillows for a living. It’s actually more than the vestibular system! It’s also giving them proprioception, which is the feeling of your joints and muscles / where your body is in space! 

We all seek proprioceptive input, leaning against walls, pushing against the steering wheel when driving, giving your body a squeeze to wake yourself up, the list goes on! When we ‘crash’ kids into soft things like pillows or beds, we’re waking their bodies up AND calming their bodies down! In other words, getting them into this super nice zone of “just right” regulation. 

When I see a child who is bouncing off the walls and can’t seem to stand still for more than a few seconds? I start wrestling with them, crashing them into pillows, giving their body the right amount of input they need to feel good and organised. And suddenly, this kid is able to sit and play attentively or do their handwriting practice. It’s amazing! If you want to know more about why the vestibular and proprioceptive systems are awesome at making your body feel good, google those two words (and sensory processing) and read through some occupational therapy websites! 

Side note: As adults, does your body ever feel jittering/jiggly/wiggly/like it needs to move or calm down but you just can’t figure out why? That’s your sensory system saying Hey! I need to feel differently in order to function better! Here’s what you can do:

Long story short, everyone has a sensory system and we all use regulation strategies like the ones listed above to help make our body feel better. So if you ever see someone (especially kids!) fidgeting and having a hard time focusing, maybe suggest something from the list above!

Are you telling me that push ups are the cure for ADHD leg bounce?

Push-ups have always been the cure for the ADHD leg bounce but for some reason no one wants to hear it.

My life has been meaningless until now🤘

oh, shes VIBING™ vibing

There’s a reason lots of good parents say to babies stuff like

“You’re excited to go to the park!”

“Oh, it makes you mad that we can’t go outside.”

And then when the babies get a little bit older the parents can say

“You seem upset. Are you sad?”

“Are you excited that gramma is coming over today?”

Which lets the kid (who is learning to utilize speech) respond with yes or no, which may prompt more questions, like

“So you aren’t sad, are you angry?”

“Yes, does it make you happy when gramma is here?”

And then, finally, when the child is learning to use language in a more complex way, the parents can say,

“How does it make you feel?”

“Why are you feeling like that?”

And it’s all about teaching emotional awareness. I really reccomend using the process on yourself. Learn to ask, “am I happy?” “Am I sad?” “Am I anxious?”

Then practice identifying, out loud or on paper if you can, “I’m happy.” “I’m upset.” “I’m sad.” “I’m anxious.”

Final step: “Why am I feeling anxious? I’m still thinking about that awkward conversation earlier.” “Why am I happy? It’s such a beautiful day outside.” “Why am I sad? None of my friends are responding to my messages.”

It really helps you notice patterns (“I’m more likely to be happy when I’m around this person.” “When I haven’t eaten, I often feel angry.” “If I don’t plan ahead, I get anxious.”) which is the first step in avoiding things and people that are bad for you and encouraging things and people that are good.

Basically don’t forget that you’re just a baby who got more complicated.

Not sure how to articulate what you are feeling? Try starting at the middle and working your way out to the more specific feelings!

A lot of therapy I’ve been to has just been teaching me how to do exactly this