Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn

Honestly I really wish instead of losing all her memories post season 4 Donna had been like temporarily displaced or some other handwavey scifi bullshit so that she could’ve been a River Song or Master type character where she just shows up sometimes and The Doctor is like DONNA MY BEST FRIEND DONNA and their current companion(s) is like “Whomst??? The fuck????” while Donna is just like “ey oh what’s POPPIN”

#god this #can you imagine catherine tate #just showing up in a fucking nebula #doctor’s all like DONNA SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN! #HOW’S IT GOING #same old same old seeing the wonders of the universe through involuntary and unpredictable time-space travel #you? #oh you know seeing the wonders of the universe through voluntary but still unpredictable time-space travel #new companion’s like *what are you* #Donna: I’m a temp

Temp is short for temporal anomaly.

Iroh: so Toph, what are your goals in life?

Toph: I’ve been banned from every major city’s transportation system except Omashu

Toph: I don’t know what their limit is but I will fucking find it 

King Boomie, having exactly zero limits:

Unstoppable object meets immovable force

Why wasn’t this Toph’s future instead of becoming a freaking cop. This would have made so much more sense. 

My favorite part of this is “when I am no longer fit to rule” because

1. Implying Bumi was fit to rule at any point

1.1 except maybe in the sense that he was completely shredded

2. That he has no plans to die, (nor would death necessarily make him unfit to rule), but that he apparently intends to like. Tuck his arms and legs into himself and just roll off into the sunset.

3. Given that the Earth Kingdom has an actual ruling family that causes some drama in LoK, Toph continuing to cause monarchy confusion is both 100% in character and fucking hilarious.

Toph takes over as King Bumi the second and everyone is like “no that’s not how inheriting works” and Bumi is like “No no she’s right, I did say “inherit my title!”

When toph is no longer fit to rule, she instills bumi (Aang’s son) as her heir and he is known as bumi 3.

a terrifying chair that i would never sit in

I want my ass in this immediately

You: rolling around in office chair

Me: hanging from the ceiling waiting for prey to walk under me

Imagine how absolutely baffled a Roman soldier from like 0 AD would be upon being transported suddenly to a very Christian rural midwestern town and seeing crosses everyfuckingwhere

He’d draw a lot of somewhat incorrect conclusions about our culture very quickly

"This town is full of very very small criminals...."

I was going to say “weird and arbitrary things are marked with the threat of execution” but yours is funnier

I was going to caption this but then I listened with the sound on, and they had it covered.

I’m rewatching the Radio Job right now and it’s a passing joke, but I got curious about something and decide to do some research.

So we know Parker has this time travel obsession during the episode and when Jimmy disappears, there’s the scene where she says he time traveled and Hardison asks why he would choose 1962 out of all the years.

Well! I thought maybe there was some significance and yeah, it’s probably unlikely it’s an actual connection or intentionally added, but it turns out, in 1962, the Great Plymouth Mail Truck Robbery happened. Basically, some gunmen disguised as cops robbed a mail truck holding $1.5 million that was headed to the Federal Reserve Bank in Boston. The end result doesn’t matter much, but what matters is the $1.5 million.

Why? Because it was never found.

That’s right. Apparently, when the robbers stole the truck, they disappeared somewhere and stashed all that money, and its location is still unknown today.

So gee, 1962 may seem like a random year to us, but I’m sure a thief in Boston would be well aware of this crime. Not only that, Tom Skerritt, who plays Jimmy, was born in 1933, so if we consider that to be how old Jimmy is too, that means he witnessed the Plymouth Mail robbery and knew that the money was still floating around out there.

Oh and, uh, by the way, when this episode aired in 2012, when adjusted for inflation, $1.5 million would be $11.4 million that year. In 2021, it’s $13.1 million.

So I don’t know about you, but I’d say that’s a pretty good reason to try and go back to 1962. ;)

(via)

love him

your locks have nothing on them

[ID: four ink sketches from different angles of raccoons sniffing the ground. Handwritten text around it says: “I am smart / I am smart / your trash is not safe in my town” /End ID]

One of the best tips for writing descriptions of pain is actually a snippet I remember from a story where a character is given a host of colored pencils and asked to draw an egg.

The character says that there’s no white pencil.  But you don’t need a white pencil to draw a white egg.  We already know the egg is white.  What we need to draw is the luminance of the yellow lamp and the reflection of the blue cloth and the shadows and the shading.

We know a broken bone hurts.  We know a knife wound hurts.  We know grief hurts.  Show us what else it does.

You don’t need to describe the character in pain.  You need to describe how the pain affects the character - how they’re unable to move, how they’re sweating, how they’re cold, how their muscles ache and their fingers tremble and their eyes prickle.

Draw around the egg.  Write around the pain.  And we will all be able to see the finished product.

Same thing goes for smut scenes, my friends. Don’t harp on the anatomy of the act, tell me how it feels!

when i saw the headline ‘golf digest helps free man from prison’ i thought it was gonna be, like

“he’s clearly in the background of this golf photo! that proves he wasn’t at the crime scene!!”

as opposed to, like

“this guy in prison sent us his cool golf fanart but we didn’t want to promo a serial killer, so we looked into his case and thought it looked pretty flimsy and probably racially motivated”

(here’s the first article from 2012 and the followup)

this was a fucking wild ride in a GOLF MAGAZINE

2021 update! I just saw this CNN article today about Mr Dixon, and apparently, he is now a world-renowned artist whose clients include the Obamas and several well-known figures in the golf world! He is also the founder of the Valentino Dixon Art of Freedom Foundation, which is a non-profit dedicated to prison reform and social justice advocacy. You can read more about the foundation and connect to their donations portal here.

ICYMI: New sounds from Mars dropped! Turn the volume up to hear our Ingenuity Mars Helicopter flying on the Red Planet.

Captured by our Perseverance Mars Rover, this is the first time a spacecraft on another planet has recorded the sounds of a separate spacecraft. In this audio track, Perseverance used its SuperCam microphone to listen to the Ingenuity helicopter on April 30, 2021 as it flew on Mars for the fourth time.

With Perseverance parked 262 feet (80 meters) from the helicopter’s takeoff and landing spot, the mission wasn’t sure if the microphone would pick up any sound of the flight. Even during flight when the helicopter’s blades are spinning at 2,537 rpm, the sound is greatly muffled by the thin Martian atmosphere. It is further obscured by Martian wind gusts during the initial moments of the flight. Listen closely, though, and the helicopter’s hum can be heard faintly above the sound of those winds.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com.

perfect aim 🏹✨

Witch: Ah, so you've come to me.

Maiden: Yes. I need your help.

Witch: Unwanted baby?

Maiden: No?

Witch: Want someone dead?

Maiden: What? Of course not.

Witch: That's all I know how to do. What do you need?

Maiden: I'm starting to see why you were shunned from the village.

Witch: Yes, I've killed a lot of people. What do you need?

Maiden: There's a pox in the village.

Witch: It wasn't me this time.

Maiden: I know. Can you fix it or not?

Witch: No. I'm not licensed for that.

Maiden: What do you mean you're not licensed for that?

Witch: I got kicked out of the herbalist's coven.

Maiden: For killing people?

Witch: For killing people.

Maiden: Great, now what do I do? There isn't another witch for at least three towns over.

Witch: And he's an enchanter blacksmith type. Makes protective amulets and beefs up swords. Makes really good horseshoes. Can't fix poxes. Makes a mean rabbit stew though. And...

Maiden: And is very good at sex and hard to kill, yes everyone knows that. You tell us repeatedly. Even though we kicked you out.

Witch: It's important. How are you not dead yet, by the way? You're an adult and you haven't bought anything yet so you should be dead by now.

Maiden: I'm not into people that way. Your weird sex based spells don't work on me. That's why I'm the one that came.

Witch: I would branch out but I'm barred from taking more classes at the guild. Because of the murder.

Maiden: Right, well I'm gonna go before you poison me.

Witch: What about the pox?

Maiden: I do have a mild form of it so you've been exposed too. Someone of your age is much more likely to die from it.

Witch: What?

Maiden: I'd suggest you find an accredited friend that hasn't been convicted of unnecessary murder.

Maiden: I have come a long way to find you.

Enchanter: One second. (throws a sword over his shoulder where it crashes into several metal tools and starts glowing)

Enchanter: Okay, what do you need?

Maiden: There's a pox in my town.

Enchanter: (pulls an amulet out of his pocket and holds it over her head)

Enchanter: You don't seem to have it, but it's touched you.

Maiden: I got better. Can you help?

Enchanter: I enchant swords. Why are you visiting me?

Maiden: Because the only witch in our town is...

Enchanter: Wait, don't tell me. Are you from Ravenfalls?

Maiden: Yeah.

Enchanter: Tabatha. Of course. That quack.

Maiden: She only kills people and does abortions.

Enchanter: Oh no she doesn't do abortions. She just drowns babies. I don't even think she knows what a fetus is.

Maiden: Oh.

Enchanter: Yeah. Terrible cook too. Normally herbalists are pretty good at cooking but she's just...

Maiden: The worst. I know. Do you at least know who can help? All of our elders and babies are dropping off like flies. People are strapping chickens to their arms. It's a mess.

Enchanter: (clicks tongue a few times) The nearest guy that specializes in pox is in the mountains. Not the coast range but the big angry looking pointy ones to the east. What were those called again?

Maiden: The Death Mountains?

Enchanter: Yeah, those. Unfortunate name, really. They're almost tolerable in the spring and summer. Don't know why they live there though.

Maiden: Can you teleport me there?

Enchanter: Why do people always ask that? Look I don't know what you've been hearing from Tabatha or traveling merchants but that's not safe for living creatures.

Maiden: Then what do I do? By the time I get back half the population will either be dead or still have birds strapped to their arms.

Enchanter: I hate to suggest this but you could like... with a shapeshifting dragon? And then ask for a wish?

Maiden: I'm not into people or dragons that way.

Enchanter: Then I guess I'll see if I can do something for your horse's shoes but that won't be nearly as fast.

Maiden: I have...

Herbalist: Come a very long way to see me. I know.

Maiden: How did you...

Herbalist: Everyone says that. Come sit. Do you like tea?

Maiden: I don't have time for tea. My village has a pox.

Herbalist: Which pox?

Maiden: It's mostly affecting older people and it's... purple.

Herbalist: Oh. What shade of purple?

Maiden: Very bright.

Herbalist: Oh, that's not a pox. That's a curse. Or a curse mixed with a usually just annoying pox. Someone in your area has probably pissed someone off.

Maiden: I'm from Ravenfalls.

Herbalist: In that case I think we can both guess who brought forth someone's ire. Who created it though, still remains a mystery. In any case, you can buy this bag of weeds and instruct people to boil them in small batches and inhale the steam. It won't cure anything, but it will most likely help people breathe better, which may help them survive long enough to fight it off.

Maiden: What do I do about Tabatha and the people strapping chickens to their arms?

Herbalist: My dear, some things can't be fixed completely. Plant this all over your town though and Tabatha will most likely avoid you. You can have these for free.

Maiden: I'm not going to bring some magic plant into town unless I know what it is.

Herbalist: Oh, it's not very magic. It's a cedar tree I've enchanted to grow very quickly. She's deathly allergic to cedar wood and pollen.

Maiden: Oh.

Herbalist: I really can't do anything for the chickens though. People will do strange things when they're desperate.

Maiden: Will I ever know who cursed us?

Herbalist: You may or may not. Wile you're here though, would you care to buy a love potion?

Maiden: I'm not into people that way.

Herbalist: You wouldn't fit in at the witches guild then. That's why most of us go in. It's a very good profession for swingers.

Maiden: That's why I went into city government. Well, thank you for all that.

Herbalist: And thank you for visiting. Tell the enchanter that I said hi and tell Tabatha to take a hike for me.

Maiden: I will. You have my word on that.

Enchanter: Hello.

Maiden: Enchanter? What are you doing here?

Enchanter: My name is John.

Maiden: It feels weird to call you that. You're the magic blacksmith I met on my quest.

Enchanter: I understand. So do you know who I'd talk to about renting a lot here?

Maiden: For what purpose? Oh, right. Me. Talk to me about it. I manage Lord Raven's lots and do logging and hunting permits and collect rent and whatnot

Enchanter: I want to set up my shop here. Business is better here for weapons and ever since she moved out, well...

Maiden: Was she after you?

Enchanter: She was under the impression that we were still married.

Maiden: Yes, she definitely was. Well, I think I can set you up. The village will benefit from having a reputable witch nearby. I'll get you in contact with a carpenter and scout out a spot for you.

Enchanter: Wait, I have something for you.

Maiden: An amulet?

Enchanter: For keeping away unwanted romantic advances.

Maiden: (covers her mouth and starts crying just a little bit)

Maiden: Sir, I can't...

Enchanter: You drove away a person that made my life a living hell for years. You saved your town. You drove out a murderer. You went into the Death Mountains in the middle of the winter. Take it.

Maiden: (takes it) John, did I ever tell you when we met that I desperately wanted to become friends with you?

Enchanter: No, but once I'm moved in I think we can give it a try.

Maiden: I'll get the paperwork and meet you at the tavern. Dinner's on me.

The aromantic fantasy story we've all been waiting for.

oh this is lovely