I AM LOSING IT SO HARD RIGHT NOW. DARTH VADER, DARK SCARY LORD OF THE SITH, ANNOYED AS SHIT BY A KOWAKIAN MONKEY LIZARD. I SINCERELY AND TRULY HOPE HE WAS MAKING THIS FACE UNDER THE MASK:

Vader to those two tie pilots when they went to stop Luke from getting to the exhaust port

Palpatine after he found out that some random farm kid from fucking Space Arizona destroyed his Ultimate Weapon

Jabba when Luke just waltzed into his palace uninvited and threatened him in his own house

Star Wars Art | by Luca Merli

Star Wars: Age of Rebellions: Jabba the Hutt - “Great to be Jabba” (2019)

Jabba & Boba

Art by Mark Nasso

Cast Anthony Ingruber as Han Solo

He looks like Harrison Ford, he talks like Harrison Ford, and he even played a young Harrison Ford in the film Age of Adaline. Anthony Ingruber had even audition for the role of Han Solo and the fact he didn’t get it… well this is a post about talking about how to fix the movie not about the controversy.

Drop the political agendas

Long story short, the worst part about this movie is this droid. It’s a bad metaphor for civil rights, it’s bad metaphor for women’s rights, and it’s bad representation for slaves that actually exist in the Star Wars universe. Please, Disney Lucas films, stop with the identity politics. You guys cannot do subtle or good metaphors. Leave that to The Clone Wars.

Drop the corny love story

Listen not every single heist movie needs a shitty romance. We all know Han Solo is going to end up with Princess Leia. Everyone knows that it won’t last and it just feels so forced. It’s like when the movie teases the death of Han or Chewie even though we all know Han is killed by his son. And yes we all know that not everyone dates more than one person, but so much time is taken away from the Hon Solo origin film to deal with a flat love interest. The character could’ve just been a female bounty Hunter, smuggler, anything! Hell there’s no point to even put her in the film. She did nothing but be a plot device. There was no actual reason she had to be the love interest except to just for fill a corny Hollywood cliché.

Focus on Lando and Han’s relationship

For movie about the two coolest characters in all of Star Wars, who have such a mysterious and interesting background that they got their own prequel movie, the movie does nothing for two of them. Most of the interactions Lando has is with a droid he’s banging. Han spends a lot of his time chasing afte Daenerys Targaryen. I don’t care that Lando had his sexuality changed. He was a womanizer in the original trilogy but Billie Dee Williams always joked around about him and Han, so I thought making him pansexual was just an idea that the writers got from the fans and I thought that it was pretty creative but droid sex? For purposes the droid is a woman. Woman voice, looks like a woman, and is called a her. Why couldn’t Lando hook up with a man? A woman? A male alien? An alien that is neither gender? Why are we even focusing on sexuality instead of the fucking plot?

All this took important screen time away from the 2 of 3 biggest characters in the film and focused on them both chasing flat love interests that honesty brought the movie down.

Make Han Solo a morally grey character

The worst part about Alden’s Han Solo is that he doesn’t feel like Han Solo. He feels like an edgy Luke. Just not as endearing or likable. Most people would say that it’s about watching Han Solo become Han Solo, but we didn’t come for that. We came to see Han Solo before A new Hope. The scruffy rogue who shot first. Not a Boy Scout pretending to be Han Solo.

We should be watching him running jobs with Lando and Chewbacca, pulling off amazing heists and being a morally grey character. The Han Solo from the original trilogy wasn’t a good guy. He was a selfish smuggler who learned to care about people and be selfless. That’s what made his character development good in the original trilogy. We should see the smuggler Han Solo at his worst.

Put Boba Fett and Jabba the Hutt in the movie

For chrissakes these are the two most known characters associated with Hans Solo that aren’t Luke, Leia, Lando or Chewie! The fact that neither of them are in the movie is ridiculous. They are literally the characters biggest enemies and they have so much to do with his character arc in episode five and six.

We could learn what started the epic rivalry between the bounty Hunter and the smuggler. We can also learn how this scruffy smuggler pissed off this crime boss. Plus since LS wants to make a Boba Fett movie, what better way than to re-introduce him then putting him in this movie? If he tests well, you can green light a sequel. If he doesn’t test well, then everyone who’s been screaming about his movie can finally stop. In argument that has been going on for years can finally die.

Seriously it’s like making a Joker movie without Batman or a Venom movie without Spiderman. I don’t know what type of idiots would do that…oh wait…

Make George Lucas and Dave Filoni writers and producers of the movie

George Lucas and Dave Filoni have done more for Star Wars than Kathleen Kennedy or Rian Johnson will ever do. George Lucas created the entire thing and Dave created one of the most loved aspects about Star Wars outside of the knights of the old republic games and the original trilogy. They care about the fans, they care about the continuity and history of Star Wars, and most importantly they are just good people for Star Wars. You put those two together with Ron Howard as a director and it is a dream team.

Push back the release date

For Christ sake‘s we just got a Star Wars movie in December. I know Disney Lucas films wants to be like the Marvel cinematic universe so bad but they are just not that good with planning or directing as the MCU. Take some time, iron out the weaker points in the story, and let it come out later in the year, December even. The backlash from the last Jedi is still fresh in everybody’s mind. It doesn’t help that Lucas films has been spending the last six months bashing anyone who doesn’t praise the last Jedi as the best thing that ever happened. After watching TLJ, a movie that was about the past dying and everything we love about the original trilogy dying with it, trying to get us to come back for prequel about a character that you had already killed off and ignored in your last movie was not the best idea.

The last Jedi taught us that the past didn’t matter, fans should not care about their expectations or what they want. We should just take what the director and writer gives us and be happy with that. You know what would’ve been a good scene in the last Jedi? Having a funeral for Han Solo. Instead all we got was Luke asking where Han was.

Lucas Fans told us not to care about Han in TLJ. Hell some dumbass people blame Han for how Ben turned out.

Treat your fans right

Listen at the end of the day Lucas films is a business and a business only does well if it has happy customers. You get happy customers by treating your customers good. Making them happy. Not subverting their expectations, but exceeding their expectations.

At the end of the day the real reason behind the Solo movie doing bad at the box office is because fence just one happy. They weren’t happy about the casting choice, they weren’t happy about the story, and most importantly they weren’t happy with how Lucas films was treating them. Any honest legitimate or criticism was met with being called a racist, sexist, bigot, or stupid. Surprise! Treating her fans like shit gets you know butts in your movie theaters.

Honest to God that there is no reason why Han Solo didn’t clean up at the box office. Star Wars is The most popular, iconic, and lucrative film franchise on the planet and the movie was starring one of the most beloved characters and all the Star Wars history. Deadpool and the avengers movie should be worrying about coming out new Star Wars, not the other way around. You can deny it all you want, but Hans Solo failed because it just wasn’t a good movie. It was an ok movie. It was even fun at times. But overall? It’s just a forgettable movie

My advice for the next movie Star Wars?

I really suggest that the people who are making these movies go back and watch the last six Star Wars movies and understand why they are loved so much. People love the prequel movies. People adore and worship the original movies. The Knights of the Old Republic game is called one of the best Star Wars games of all time. The clone wars is called Star Wars at its modern best. Go back and experience these things all over again. Learn why we loved them so much. Pay attention to what makes them good and apply them to the movies. It isn’t rocket scientist.

For all of its flaws, the Marvel cinematic universe succeed because it puts in time, care, and effort. They care about the fans because they know the fans are the difference between billions of dollars or losing at the box office.

At first I wondered if there was a way to draw her in the metal bikini without it looking like a pin-up, but then I realized: why should I draw her in that thing at all? So here. The Leia we deserve.

Bonus points if she rescues Oola:

I’m rlly frustrated bc I’m watching return of the Jedi and I just saw the scene where they’re talking about the sarlacc and I can’t stop thinking abt this one Tumblr post that’s something about how it wouldn’t be for that long bc he’d starve to death and Luke is like “tell him that r2. Tell him that he’s a dumbass r2. Tell him” and I’ve been googling for a billion years but I can’t find it and I rlly wanna find this post so if any of u have it plsssssss add the link and I’d die for u