doctor strange rounding up all the unsnapped avengers for the final battle:

the ideal date is coming over to my house and staring at my wolf figurines in complete silence. if you touch any of them the date is over

i’m glad ants dont know how big jupiter is or they would be fucked up about it. i was fucked up about it. jupiter is huge

This video pisses me off because everything about it is perfect. It’s extremely well shot and composed. Every decision that went into it from the choreographed sunglasses throw to the bass boosted Nickelback seems deliberate and incapable of improvement. 

Nothing I ever make will be better than 12 second long shitpost.

Self care is going into a corn field at night to get abducted by aliens

me two hours after i should have gone to bed: time to solve the jonbenet ramsey case

my life can be most accurately described by the sound a wet sponge makes when you throw it on the floor

*shows up at nasa with sleeping bag & pillow* I’m ready to go to the moon

what if you went outside and saw slender man what would you do

tobey maguire or andrew garfield 

i thought this said spider man please ignore me

*hears thunder* thor if thats u bitch i love u

are you sure

IF THIS ISNT ME THEN I DONT KNOW MAN

fuckin.. shut up. Shut up. im looking at jars on ikea.com shut the fuck up.