Amazing question—and the answer, of course, is different for everyone.

But I'll try to answer as efficiently as possible.

A break is any moment you take to recollect your thoughts, energy, or focus.

Yes, it's nice to have intentional breaks built into your schedule, but if you're neurodivergent, then it's most likely going to have to be intuitive.

Intuitive meaning depending on how you're feeling in the moment.

It's practically impossible to know if something is going to tire you out after 30 minutes or an hour on this upcoming Friday, you know? We just don't have that kind of foresight.

So, really, building in breaks into your schedule means not packing your day with a bunch of things do to.

For me, it usually means only timeblocking half the day with stuff to do, so that I can be sure everything will get done.

Personally, I don't include chores into my time blocks, but you can if you want to.

Personally, I do include my morning routine and nightly routine into my calendar, but not each individual task. It just gets one timeblock called "morning/nightly routine" with the task list as the description.

Throughout my day, I take breaks every 45 minutes or so—even if it's just to stop looking at the computer screen and think for a second.

Usually, though, I recommend getting up (if you can), drinking some water, and maybe doing a quick stretch/head roll/stim to release some excess energy.

It's all about knowing when you're hitting a wall.

That's when to take a break.

When you decide to come back is based on:

Which are all individual skills in and of themselves.

Taking breaks in a world that doesn't support neurodivergent minds is a complex problem, because there are multiple layers to sort through.

Give yourself the time (years), space (hour-by-hour), and grace (all the time) to figure it out.

Remember: Learning how to live takes a lifetime.

Neurodivergent reminder: Overstimulation feels a lot like anxiety, and understimulation feels a lot like depression.

More importantly, you don't need to know which it is to practice self-care.

Self-caring anxiety and overstimulation looks the same:

Self-caring depression and understimulation looks the same:

If you're neurodivergent and easily get stuck on labelling things — I see you.

I'm here to remind you that you don't need to know what it is to take care of it in the meantime.

You can — will — figure it out later.

Change your beliefs, change your life.

I recently started doing something that feels really dumb at first, but... it's totally changing the way I view myself, y'all.

It's called Belief Work and basically, it's taking your old shitty beliefs and turning them on their head 100%.

So instead of "I will never make it," I now tell myself intentionally "I will definitely make it."

The process is simple:

I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT BUT I PROMISE YOU IT'S WORKING FOR ME SO MAYBE IT'LL WORK FOR YOU???

If you're neurodivergent, taking a break literally requires planning.

This is because we often don't give notice to how much work we actually do in a day, because what constitutes as "work" for us is not "work" for others.

It requires me work to:

So of course taking breaks is going to require some work, too.

Here's how I've learned to plan for my breaks:

I know it seems convoluted now, but I promise you, this kind of forward planning for my breaks has allowed me to actually rest when it's time to rest.

I can finally rest on a daily and weekly basis without constantly solving problems in my head, ruminating on past conversations, or worrying about the future, because I gave worry a time & place.

I can accept that I do deserve a break every single day no matter what I actually accomplished, because I accepted everything as work, focused on my top 3, and listened to my body when it said it's time.

I can look forward to what I spend my breaks on, because I took the time to plan fun projects with other people, which holds me accountable to doing those things with my friends.

It took me a long time to get here, but I hope this post speeds up your process—even if just a little bit.

Representation is so hard because representation is a responsibility.

It is tricky. It is time-consuming. It is emotionally-demanding.

Because the same is true to not being represented.

It’s tricky to express your discontent about not being represented enough. It’s time-consuming trying to explain to people why it matters so much to you. It’s emotionally-demanding to always be the person on the representation soapbox.

But the people who deserve representation do the work anyways, because it’s a responsibility to themselves, their ancestors, and their future generations.

This is your much-needed reminder to take transitions seriously. As a neurodivergent person, you need much more time to switch between tasks and activities. It's not just important that you take your time, it's imperative for you to be able to keep going. Just like an athlete gets benched when they get injured, neurodivergent people get extra time to switch tasks, start something new, go out, or wrap up whatever you're doing. Take transitions seriously, or they'll seriously affect your health.

Literally the only difference between someone thinking I'm lazy & unmotivated vs. someone thinking I'm highly ambitious & focused is if they understand ADHD or not.

“Be the same person to everyone.” is bad advice.

There, I said it.

It’s not bad in intent—just bad in execution by an autistic person.

I cannot "be the same person to every single person!" and be successful in socializing.

I cannot be as friendly as I am with my friends with a potential sales lead, because that would be weird on many levels.

I cannot be as surface-level as I am with cashiers as I am with friends, because that would be weird on many levels. (Or worse, my friends would think I’m mad at them.)

When you tell autistic people to "be the same person to everyone" in their life, they will take you literally like I did.

And the result of that little experiment was:

The result of this advice, for me, was never changing my approach to communicating.

Which is a really fucking bad idea.

The Real Advice Is To Change Your “How”

The problem with the advice, “Be the same person to everyone,” is that it doesn’t account for how much goes into being a person.

There’s not just the Who, What, Why, and Where—there’s a How that’s part of you, as well.

I think this advice is recommending to keep the Ws the same:

But the how is what they forget to account for:

that is what needs to change, if you can afford the energy.

Social success is dependent on your ability to be malleable to different expectations of you depending on the context.

I really hate people who say, “Just be kind! It’s easy!”

As if humans aren’t hardwired to seek out negativity for survival.

Sigh.

If you struggle to see the good in things—you’re not alone.

Negativity bias is inherent in every human, and, if we really got down to it, I think we’d all agree it’s much easier to be an asshole.

Not that that’s something to look up to, but to not care about anybody?

To focus only on what moves you forward?

That’s easy livin’.

I’d know because I was that person for a long time…

And it landed me in a dark, lonely pit of disconnection from reality & the outside world.

Easy livin’ left me livin’ in my head.

ADHDers—you're vulnerable to addiction.

And addictions aren't just substances.

You can be addicted to:

This post isn't a scare-post, though.

If you are aware of where you're vulnerable, you can put extra measures in place to keep you safe.

Managing addiction looks like:

With support, you can do anything!

I believe in you.

Follow for more if you need a little extra peer support :)

My Everyday Sensory Kit

I like to think I'm a pretty incognito neurodivergent person, though I'm definitely not trying to hide it.

I just think my neurodivergence isn't everything I bring to the table — but only when I take care of my neurodivergence first.

That's the Catch-22:

My neurodivergence is everything until it's taken care of.

So here's how I take care of my sensory sensitivities so that neurodivergence doesn't become my entire life.

1. Noise-Cancelling Headphones (Headgear)

At a whopping $250, my Sony WHMX4s are absolute life-savers.

I use my headgear turned off most of the time.

Yes, they double as headphones, but their primary use is keeping my sensory world calm even when the world around me is noisy and chaotic.

2. Water Bottle

My water bottle doubles as sensory gear, because it gives me something to hold onto.

Having a water bottle is acceptable is every circumstance, so my hands always have something to do.

When you’re fidgety like me, something to hold onto can be incredibly grounding.

3. My Meds!

I hope this one is obvious, but here’s what my meds help with:

They help a lot, to say the least.

4. Weed

I placed weed in a different category to make a point, but it technically falls under “my meds” for me, because it helps with everything I mentioned in meds.

5. Stim Toys

I keep toys on-hand pretty much 24/7.

Some would call it childish, but those people don’t understand the purpose:

Stim toys help me stop biting my nails, bouncing my legs, and looking anywhere but the person speaking.

6. Nintendo Switch

Speaking of toys, let’s talk about real toys: My Nintendo Switch.

My Switch is in my sensory kit because I use it to escape and calm down in stressful environments.

Even in the midst of a busy airport, if I have my headphones + Minecraft, I can be peaceful.

7. Hoodies

Hoodies keep my arms warm and shape boxy.

It’s hard to identify if I’m a girl or a boy in a large hoodie—which is exactly what I like.

They’re part of my sensory kit because hoods actually help my hearing sensitivity, and they double as great sun shields.

I'd love to know what's in your sensory kit!

You aren't selfish for needing time alone.

Selfishness comes from a place of not wanting to do things for others.

It's an active feeling—not an action.

Selfishness is a pattern of self-centered decisions.

It must repeat to be true selfishness—not an individual "no thanks."

Self-preservation comes from a place of needing to help yourself.

Selfish people do not need help because they always give it to themselves.

Selfless people, however, never seem to have enough help.

Self-preservation varies day-by-day based on your needs.

Self-preservation isn’t really a pattern.

It’s not predictable or ready-made, even with a solid routine.

Neurodivergent people aren't fucking selfish.

We just need way more self-preservation than you're used to.

There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.

This is because everything in my life requires work:

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.

You're doing your best.

Repeat After Me: New Needs Come With New Diagnoses

Thanks to my recently discovered AuDHD (autism + ADHD), I’ve finally given myself the permission to slow down with life.

It’s allowed me the chance to discover who I really am—and that’s not someone who wants limelight or a rat race.

Instead, I need:

What have you discovered you need post-diagnosis?

I wanna see how long we can make this list ~

I know these are cheesy to post, but I need more practice celebrating my mini milestones.

So thank you for being here, and for liking my work <3