Illyana Rasputin's Daily Damnation

Illyana will rescue your kid, but don't make her wait at the door.

From Secret Warriors #9, by Matthew Rosenberg & Javier Garrón

Storytellers: Matthew Rosenberg & Ramon Bachs Source: Secret Warriors #12

Look at these In-freaking-humans calling our Illyana weird. Getting out of there and taking cake is the most rational thing anyone there has done.

Storytellers: Matthew Rosenberg & Ramon Bachs Source: Secret Warriors (2017) #12

You see that? That’s a Secret Wars edition of Risk. And Illyana knows that for her, Secret Wars is for lovin’, not for fighting.

“Pass.” “You can’t keep passing. The point is to take over the world.” “Oh sure, and then it’s: Oh no! The mutants are trying to conquer us! You can take your game and put it up your Terrigen hole.” Storytellers: Matthew Rosenberg & Ramon Bachs Source: Secret Warriors (2017) #12 preview

I dunno. I was quite happy with the start of Illyana’s Secret Warriors arc, but then the last few issues she hasn’t really done much. It seems odd to me that she’d A) be invited to, and B) attend a team bonding night. (Also, Lunella very much seems like an evil mastermind in training who must have everything her way, here.)

Always bonus points for Casual Clothes Illyana, though.

Yes, but Illyana’s OUR psychotic girl with a sword Storytellers: Matthrew Rosenberg, Javier Garrón & Will Robson Source: Secret Warriors (2017) #11 preview

Can’t say I’m crazy about Will Robson’s style on these issues. One would think if an entire arc is pushed out twice-monthly, it was because the main artist was fast or far enough ahead.

So I was thinking, “Oh, Sapna. I hope Dead Souls addresses Sapna’s ghost inhabiting the Soulsword, that seems to fit the theme.”

But then I remembered... Illyana is in a story with renowned cloning-afficionado Mr. Sinister right now--what if she ends up making some kind of deal with Sinister for a new body for Sapna.

She feels pretty guilty about what happened to her, so she’ll probably be willing to do questionable things to fix it. I’d love to see this.

“I’d leave it five minutes if I were you. And then still not go, because the sulphuric stench in there is forever.” Storytellers: Matthew Rosenberg & Javier Garrón Source: Secret Warriors vol.2 #8

Illyana Rasputin, scourge of demons, slayer of the Elder Gods, stealer of the remote Storytellers: Matthew Rosenberg & Javier Garrón & Will Robson Source: Secret Warriors (2017) #10 preview

I mean...

...You can’t argue with that. Love it.

And the whole team owes Illyana their lives. You’re welcome.

Oh man, Illyana being able to bring abducted children safely home? That must make her happy. Storytellers: Matthew Rosenberg & Javier Garrón Source: Secret Warriors #9 preview (I’m not picking up the issue till tomorrow)

And that’s an interesting thing the Soulsword is doing--we never get to see the Soulsurfboard being “drawn” like this:

Black and White Warriors! Artist: Javier Garrón Source: Secret Warriors (2017) #9

Where did Magik go? Out. What did she do? Everything. Storytellers: Matthew Rosenberg & Javier Garrón Source: Secret Warriors (2017) #8

Illyana is totally bad-ass here, but I can’t disagree with the people either who regret she’s always portrayed as such a bruiser these days. That came with the giant sword--she was more subtle before.

We all need Illyana Storytellers: Matthew Rosenberg & Javier Garrón Source: Secret Warriors (2017) #8

I like that Illyana Illyana showed up for altruistic reasons, but that that doesn’t mean she isn’t following her own plan and keeping things to herself.

This is your express transport to the Big Fight; there will be one stopover, and it will be in Limbo, barf bags are under your seats Storytellers: Matthew Rosenberg & Javier Garrón Source: Secret Warriors vol.2 #8

So is Limbo in an uproar, or did Illyana just decide to borrow a trick from Kurt?

"I have a Kitty. AND a Doug. Why would I need my own computer?" Storytellers: Matthew Rosenberg & Javier Garrón Source: Secret Warriors vol.2 #8

We all have pet peeves, Illyana Storytellers: Matthew Rosenberg & Javier Garrón Source: Secret Warriors vol.2 #8

Buy Secret Warriors today, or the Marvel gets it! Storytellers: Matthew Rosenberg & Javier Garrón Source: Secret Warriors vol.2 #8

(Trust me, it’s worth it.)

Mr. Sinister would never be so gauche as to be entirely black and white Artist: Javier Garrón Source: Secret Warriors (2017) #8

Next Wednesday!