Everybody thinks my neighbour is doing some sort of Nightmare Before Christmas thing every year, but really they just don't feel like doing two separate front yard displays for Hallowe'en and Christmas, so come November 1st they stick a Santa hat on the skeleton and call it a day.

I sometimes wonder how often archaeologists trying to make sense of the traces of some ancient ritual end up completely wrong-footed because the only surviving example we have to work with was performed by somebody going "fuck it – good enough".

THE WAY SHE POSED AFTERWARDS HFKFBDK

My artistic rendition:

the new heart I've been growing in my garden is at a strange and delicate stage of development

inaction fans when they find out making no choice is a choice in and of itself

glad to know people will still be experiencing this video for the first time this daylight savings

looks like october is…. octover

i’m queueing this for next year

Its nowvember

daily affirmations:

i was actually born 9 months premature. they had to give me to a dust mite as a wet nurse.

Really can't go wrong in fantasy with a giant skeleton being part of the environment. I'm talking colossal, part of the scenery bones.

Oh yes, let me wonder what the hell it is, how it died, how long it has been there. Let me walk on its ribs pathways, climb inside an eyesocket, look at where it fused with the nature around it.

thinking about pj harvey and giggling and kicking my legs in the air like a schoolgirl

types of nap, ranked by me (an experienced napper)

the siesta: the oldest and most reliable form of nap! you go to sleep around noon. you wake up an hour or two later feeling well-rested and prepared to face the rest of the day. this is the pinnacle of nap perfection. 10/10

the businessman’s nap: you have a limited amount of time on your hands, so you schedule a nap into your packed timetable and set an alarm. you spend half the duration of the nap worrying that you’re wasting valuable nap time by lying awake, and the other half sunk into a torpor so deep that when your alarm rings, it takes you a good few minutes to remember your own name. once you’ve splashed some cold water on your face you feel much better. 7/10

EW STICKY: you were cold at first, so you piled on the blankets and wriggled into your favourite comfy sweater. this was nice. now you are awake and trapped in a horrible sweaty gordian knot of your own devising. this is not nice. when you peel off the sweater you find to your horror that you have left an actual damp patch behind on the bed, like some sort of giant dead fish that can’t stop leaking its gross fish juice everywhere. 5/10 it was at least cosy to start with

the interrupted nap: someone barges into your room and starts talking to you. “wtsfhggl?” you enquire. they give you a judgemental look, and ask why you are sleeping in the middle of the day. “ghhfshsxkls,” you reply, graciously. they tell you to get up. you get up. the rest of the day feels like an extension of whatever dream you are having before you were disturbed. you boil with quiet resentment and shame. 4/10

the unsuccessful nap: you are tired. you want to take a nap. you lie down. you wait. you wait. time moves sluggishly forwards. you wait. your brain feels like a cup of mushy porridge but your eyes refuse to close. the noise of your fan is infuriating. you wait. eventually, you are forced to accept that this nap is simply not going to happen, and you have wasted 45 minutes doing absolutely nothing. god fucking dammit. 2/10

the handy-dandy fast-forward button: you really just want this day to be over as soon as possible, and the best way you can think of to do that is to take a nap. you only meant to sleep for an hour, but when you wake up it is already evening. the day is over. you glean no satisfaction from this. you kill time until you feel justified in going back to bed again, and spend the rest of the night tossing and turning, unable to sink back into the blissful stupor from which you so recently emerged. 0/10

The Unpleasantness: when you fall asleep, it is dark. when you awaken, it is light. this is the natural order of sleep, but perverted into a form that is frightening and wrong. you feel deeply unsettled and do not know why. are you sick? what does time mean? what does anything mean? maximum despair. -1000/10.

That 40 min walk to nowhere particular Will save your life

pretty funny that there's only 3 websites now and they're all dying

We will begin life anew in the TvTropes forum

posts that don’t have 10k to me

posts that are nothing to no one

posts not even a mother could love

we need the 8 minute workday