David Duchovny for Playgirl

what do those orca whales have against sonic anyway

???

Item: in the 1950s research was starting to suggest smoking cigarettes might be bad for you, so one company beefed up their filter with asbestos

Ground Enemies ‘Action Fighter’ SEGA Master System

imagine seinfeld but if jerry had.... an inquisitive mind..

I just meant if jerry wanted more information but I can see how you might have understood this as me proposing a bicurious seinfeld

Not that there's anything wrong with that

not that there's anything wrong with that

this line from a scanlation of beastars is the funniest thing i will ever see

Wow just had the worst possible experience ever

> was talking to someone about something and the topic of the ILLA came up. Didn't really know much on the topic

> "haha let me Google it"

> they're looking over my shoulder

> I'm thinking of Yuri. Just the word Yuri

> what I type into the search bar is not the Irish land and labor association.

> with them watching I type the word "yuri" into the search bar and hit enter

> awkward silence

> I think i fucked up

You're standing in the cold neon glow of your computer screen, as your companion educates you with some solid knowledge about the Irish Land and Labor Association, or the "ILLA" as they called it a few seconds ago, in that confident, slightly hushed tone reserved for people who truly know the history of the workers' struggle.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Medium: Failure] - So it's... a revolutionary organization? The people’s union. 19th century agrarian stuff, rural organizing... Ireland.

You don't really know much about it — just a few snatches from some half-read article that you now feel slipping away into the abyss. But the person beside you is watching, expectant.

RHETORIC [Easy: Success] - You can always ask them. It is not a failure to not know everything, a good communist knows there is always more to learn.

AUTHORITY [Medium: Failure] - NO. You can't let them know you're not as educated as them.

The glow of the screen feels like a judgmental, glowing monolith. Your fingers twitch over the search bar, ready to retrieve just a few concrete details to back yourself up. You need to type: I-L-L-A. Irish Land and Labor Association. Or maybe... wait, was it Irish Labor and Land?

Maybe instead you should just pretend you know. You’re already questioning yourself, and it’s not good. You need to focus.

CHECK FAILURE

Your fingers slip, hesitating as a more recent thought emerges, unbidden. "Irish land labor... something-something" fades into a subconscious slurry, and another word — completely unrelated, yet somehow magnetic — takes its place. A term you’ve become… perhaps a little too familiar with. You’ve done your research in another realm, seen the depths of passion not in the rigorous books of theory, but in black-and-white panels that you read right-to-left.

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - Hold on, that doesn't sound right.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - OH YEAH BABY, HERE WE GO.

Y-U-R-I, you type in the search bar.

REACTION SPEED [Godly: Failure] - Wait...!

You hit enter.

Instantly, a cascade of brightly-colored images — women in embrace, bold outlines of intimacy, panels of unspoken affection —blossom on your screen.

You stare down, horrified, watching a sea of warm-toned manga thumbnails flood your vision. The words "GIRL'S LOVE" stand out, crisp and unavoidable. There’s no hiding this.

DAMAGED MORALE -1

The person beside you leans in, curious at first. But their expression shifts as they realize what’s on your screen. Slowly, the look they give you changes from one of mild intrigue to something else — a combination of shock and concern.

...Is what you'd like to say. But you don’t speak. You can’t. The weight of the moment hangs between you like a stubborn cloud.

They shift uncomfortably, glancing back at the screen, then at you, then at the door. The words Irish Land and Labor Association fade from your mind, replaced with a growing, static emptiness as a silence sets in. You feel the heat of it, burning through your skin.

Without saying a word, they turn, slowly, and walk out of the room.

The door closes behind them with a quiet click.

And you’re left standing there, staring at the screen, your shame palpable, your mind racing to figure out how long you’ll pretend this never happened.

Burger King Internet corner, New York (1998)

they invented ska on the titanic. as the band went down with the ship they discovered the upstroke rhythm. of course this discovery would go unknown, on account of the deaths of all involved

The one real HRT milestone that matters is the first time a cat steps on your boobs and it hurts

assigned titty at kitty (atak)

Yeah she atak me

official boob post

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

Op this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

op how could you just hide this from me in the tag this makes this objectively 10000000% funnier

50 First Doses

You trick Louis? You trick Louis like a common fool? Oh jail, jail for owners ONE MILLION YE-oh what’s this? A treat?

maybe the 17000 people ahead of me in the queue are on the wrong line

the funniest and most tragic moment in steven universe is the scene that implies that Pearl pulls bitches like a professional dog walker but doesn't know how phones work so her place on earth is being a life-changing futch fling for every dyke on the east coast there's probably a gay bar in maryland where they talk about the twiggy bird chick that eats milf pussy like it's the last edible thing on earth and they dont even know about the city full of thousand year old neon lesbian amazons who are pent up 24/7 from The War and leaving room for jesus cause they're always hanging out with their softboy nephew who might be the second coming of christ

can u get my back