conflict | g.r.
- synopsis: in which she doesn't know who they are anymore
- a/n: this is probably going to be among the only angst fics i will post, i was just feeling inspired
Loneliness.
Neglect.
Emptiness.
Those were just some of the things that you had been feeling ever since your boyfriend's career had sky-rocketed and your lives had changed completely overnight.
Getting a call from Toto Wolff and being offered a contract to drive for Mercedes had been his dream ever since starting out in Formula 1 with Williams. It would be anyone's dream to drive for Mercedes, really.
But with his dream starting out, so did the problems in your relationship.
They started appearing as realistically insignificant things.
He would spend a whole amount of time on his simulator, locked away in his office for entire days at a time without so much as a break. He would be on his phone all day, barely paying any attention to you or even bothering to listen to you talk bout anything. He would stay out late at the factory, claiming that he needed to spend his entire free time there to prove to the team that he was committed and grateful for the opportunity.
You understood it all, you really did. You knew how important it was for him, how he viewed it as more of a privilege to be chosen by the team than anything else. But you also wanted your boyfriend back.
It seemed like you were apartment roommates or just friends rather than an actual couple.
You spent the majority of the day alone, you would cook him dinner and leave it for him to find at whatever hour he would decide would be a good idea to come home. You guys barely saw each other anymore, he was gone by the time you would wake up and he would come home long after you had gone to sleep.
George had entered a cycle of self-destruction and exhaustion that you didn't know how to prevent and didn't know how to deal with.
Only by talking to him would anything even come close to being solved, but he was never home. When would you get to talk if he was never there?
That miracle happened one night when you were cooking dinner and heard the front door open and close. Looking at the clock, you noticed it was far too early for George to be home.
"Hello?" you called out, continuing to stir the pot you had been working on.
"It's me" George said, appearing in the kitchen without his bags, looking more exhausted than he usually did.
You nodded, not saying anything else as you got back to your cooking.
The silence in the room was nothing short of suffocating. It felt like the walls were constricting, like there was an invisible barrier between you and your boyfriend which prevented you from interacting with each other.
“You’re awfully quiet” George was the first one to break the silence, noticing for the first time in a while just how quiet you were.
Before your relationship took a drastic turn, you had always been the chatty one. Telling him about your day, about the latest gossip you had heard, about the plans you would make with the other WAGs. You would just talk about everything and he would gladly listen.
Now, sitting in the kitchen, watching you cook silently, George realized just how long it had been since he had heard your voice speak more than 5 words to him.
You scoffed, shaking your head lightly. “You don’t say” you mumbled, trying hard not to start an argument right there with him.
“What’s going on?” his voice held so much innocence, so much cluelessness that made your blood boil.
“I don’t know what you mean” if he could act clueless, then so could you.
“Don’t give me that. You haven’t spoken a word since I got back. Something must be bothering you” he pressed.
You let out a breath, trying to calm yourself down so you could at least attempt to have a civil conversation with George.
You set aside the spoon and turned off the stove before turning around and resting against the counter.
“You want to know what my problem is, George? You. You are my problem” his eyebrows furrowed, certainly not having expected that answer from you.
“What did I do wrong?” his absolute cluelessness made you all that angrier.
“You did nothing, that’s the problem. I’ve been as understanding as any person can be about your schedule since you signed with Mercedes. The late nights, the time spent on the simulator, the calls and everything. I’ve supported you and been by your side, but I never see you anymore, George. It’s like we don’t even live in the same apartment. You’re never here, you’re gone by the time I wake up and you come home at ungodly late hours. We never see each other anymore, we never talk, I feel like your maid and not your girlfriend” it felt like a big weight had been lifted off your chest, finally being able to say everything you had been bottling up for weeks and weeks on end.
George was speechless, to say the least. He had been so caught up in his work to even think about how you must have been feeling, not having home the entire day and when he would finally come, he would lock himself away in his office to hop on the simulator.
He had been neglecting you, taking for granted the food waiting for him, the folded laundry you would do for him, the fact that you put up with everything when you could choose not to.
He had been a bad boyfriend. Hell, he had been an awful human being to you.
“I had no idea, I didn’t even realize how much I was neglecting us” he confessed, not taking his eyes from his lap, where he was playing with his fingers.
“I know you didn’t, that’s why I never bothered to say anything. We can’t continue like this, George. I can’t go on pretending to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t even here at all. I feel like we’ve become roommates and that’s it. This isn’t healthy for us” your anger had long transformed into sadness, the reality of your words hitting you just as deeply as it was hitting George.
He got up, shaking his head and coming to stand in front of you. He brought you into his arms, squeezing you tightly until you couldn’t resist anymore and hugged him back, melting into his embrace.
It felt so foreign being in his arms again, the feeling you had missed for so long and didn’t know if you would ever feel again.
“I’m so sorry, for everything. I can’t even imagine what you must have felt, but I never want to make you go through that ever again. I promise to never neglect you again, to always put you first and not let myself get so wrapped up in my work that I forget what's most important to me. Us” he promised, planting kisses on the top of your head and you buried your face into his chest.
You knew it would take a while for things to completely get back to normal, frankly until he would manage to balance out his schedule, but you had a feeling you would be okay.
You had to believe that you would be.
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