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i don’t know what to do | c.s.

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Nobody prepares you for the moment when your life is going to change.

There are no warnings, no signs to say “Watch Out! Your life is about to go to hell!”. There is no such thing.

You were on vacation with your fiancé, everything was going smoothly before he had to begin training for the start of the season.

Relaxing on the beach, soaking up the sun and basking in each other’s presence for a couple of more weeks before the chaos would resume.

But you didn’t expect your serenity to be completely blown out of the park with only one phone call.

You hadn’t thought anything of it when Carlos’ manager called him, having been receiving a lot of phone calls as the start of the season grew nearer and nearer. But seeing Carlos’ face as he listened was the first sign that something was definitely wrong.

It wasn’t until he ended the call that you really got a good look at him, at how pale he was and how lost his eyes were. His face held no emotion, his body rigid and his movements almost robotic.

“Amor? What’s wrong?” you took careful steps towards him, not wanting to freak him out or scare him out of his state.

He didn’t respond at first, staring at the floor and seemingly not even hearing what you were saying. He was somewhere deep in thought, not even acknowledging your presence next to him.

It worried you, the way he was staring off into space, a lost look in his eyes telling you more about his problem than he needed.

“They’re replacing me with Hamilton” you would have missed it if you hadn’t been so close to him on the bed.

At first, you thought you hadn’t heard him right. Replacing him with Lewis? Ferrari? That was not possible. Contract negotiations, to be fair, had not been going as well as you guys would have liked, but Carlos had been making progress about his contract for next season.

He had been almost confident about re-signing for another 2 years, minimum.

And yet, now everything seemed like it was for nothing. The call he had just received made his entire world crash down on top of his head, making him feel like he was drowning and there was no way out, your voice calling out to him somewhere far away, out of reach.

“Carlos, baby, I need you to talk to me” you spoke to him softly, trying to coax him out of the state he had been in for the past maybe 10 minutes.

Time seemed to stand still for Carlos, but this time, he heard you. He slowly started blinking, his surroundings coming into clear view once again. The first thing he focused on was the tight hold you had on his hand, the way your soft skin contrasted his rough ones.

Your touch, ever so gentle, lulling him back to reality.

“How could they do this to me? After everything I’ve done for this team, how can they replace me like that?” he questioned, not even knowing if he wanted an answer to his questions.

He was confused, hurt, disappointed, surprised. He didn’t know which of these feelings was more intense.

Your heart broke upon hearing the broken tone in his voice. You couldn’t even comprehend what he was saying, how it was possible that the team just stabbed him in the back like that, completely blindsiding him when they had just started figuring out the renewal of his contract.

“What am I supposed to do now?” his voice brought you back to reality, feeling him squeeze your hand tighter in his.

“I don’t know right now, but we will figure it out, like we always do. Together” you said, turning his face so he could look at you.

The moment he saw the determined look in your eyes, he slowly felt himself calming down a little. Of course, things were far from being solved, but he knew that he would figure it out with you by his side.

A couple of weeks passed since the news broke out that Ferrari would be replacing Carlos with Lewis from 2025, and the atmosphere was slowly starting to get back to normal.

Well, a certain type of normal.

After you let his entire family know about his future at Ferrari now being out of the question, Carlos Sr. had been managing the situation alongside Carlos. That involved many talks about his plans for the future, dozens of calls from team principals regarding possible contracts.

Especially after the Australian Grand Prix, almost every single team principal came calling at Carlos’ door, offering him a contract.

Your fiancé was overwhelmed, for lack of a better word. He seemed to be handling the situation fine from the perspective of someone who didn’t spend every day with him. But from your point of view? He was freaking out on the inside.

A lot of teams have approached him with both good and bad offers, some even with amazing offers any driver would take immediately.

But then why was it so hard for Carlos to settle on a team?

“Amor” you called out to him one night, seeing him hunched over some contracts in his office.

He looked up at you, tired eyes sparkling once landing on you. Your heart broke when you noticed the ever growing bags under his eyes, his forehead lined with creases. He wasn’t your Carlos, he wasn’t the happy and caring man you have come to love over the years.

You missed seeing him smile, seeing him let go of everything during his days off and just enjoying the time he would spend with his family. It seemed like your life nowadays was only filled with contracts and dozens of calls a day.

It was taking a huge toll on Carlos, and you were determined to help him out.

“What are you doing up? What time is it?” Carlos asked, confusedly looking for his phone, his eyes widening once he saw the time.

He had been huddled in his office for almost 4 hours, he even lost track of time.

“I can’t sleep without you, you know that” you explained, walking over to him and rounding the table, taking a seat on his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck for support.

He sighed heavily, tightening his hold on you and resting his head against the back of his chair.

“I’m sorry, I know I’ve been absent these past few weeks. I’m just really stressed about these contracts and can’t seem to catch a break” he apologized, closing his eyes once he felt your hands waving through his soft hair.

You hummed, focused on doing everything you could to get him to relax, even if for just a couple of minutes.

“I know you’re stressed, and I get it. But you’re overworking yourself, baby. This isn’t healthy for you, you’re wasting the little time you have at home with us on these contracts and we barely see you anymore. We all miss you, the old you” you said, your tone soft.

Carlos knew you were right, he had truly been neglecting everybody except for his manager, Carlos, whom he had been on the phone with almost constantly.

He had been overworking himself, and he needed to make it up to you. He couldn’t risk losing you because he was so caught up in worrying about his contracts. You were more important than them.

“I just don’t know what to do. I feel like whatever I do, I’ll make a mistake. I don’t know who I’ll be racing with next year for the first time in my career and I don’t know how to handle it properly” he confessed, his thumbs lazily drawing circles on the back of your thigh.

“I know, but you have to take some breaks. You’re exhausted, you’ve barely been sleeping or eating. I need you to let me take care of you” you rested your forehead against his, your palm cupping his cheek.

He nodded, closing his eyes and leaning up to peck your lips.

The feeling of his lips on yours felt like a breath of fresh air after drowning for so long. You hadn’t realized just how much you had missed him, how much you were craving his touch and the feeling of his body against yours.

You pulled away, gasping for air due to the intensity with which Carlos was kissing you.

“I promise I’m going to be better. No contracts starting from tomorrow, not anymore” he promised, making you smile and nod.

You pecked his lips once again before standing up, taking his hand and leading him towards your shared bedroom. You helped him change out of his clothes and got into bed, hugging him close to you as he rested his head against your chest.

He was asleep within a minute, the calm and soft strokes of your fingertips through his hair and down his back lulling him into a much-needed sleep.

You kissed his forehead before you let yourself fall asleep as well, basking in the warmth and comfort of your fiancé.

And, at the end of the day, no matter what the future may hold, you would always have each other.

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