willy conks waifu shrine

• Fingolfin died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet
• Fingolfin has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life
• Some magicians can walk on water, Fingolfin can swim through land
• Fingolfin has a polar bear rug in his room. The bear isn’t dead, it’s just afraid to move
• Fingolfin can cut through a hot knife with butter
• Death once had a near-Fingolfin experience
• Fingolfin doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
• Fingolfin destroyed the periodic table, because Fingolfin only recognises the element of surprise. (Feanor was v angry about this one)
• Fingolfin does not sleep. He waits.
• Morgoth checks under his bed for Fingolfin before sleeping

• Fingolfin makes onions cry.
• Fingolfin can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
• Fingolfin CAN find the end of a circle.
• Fingolfin doesn’t play “hide-and-seek.” He plays “hide-and-pray-I-don’t-find-you.”
• Fingolfin can drown a fish.
• If you spell Fingolfin wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Fingolfin?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Fingolfin allows to live.
• Fingolfin’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
• Fingolfin can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
• Fingolfin’s dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Fingolfin will not take shit from anyone.

• Heisenberg uncertainty principle doesn’t apply if the observer is Fingolfin.
• Fingolfin knows precisely how Schrödinger’s cat is. After all the damn beast had only not to cross him!
• Fingolfin can draw by hand accurate 6-spheres just for the fun of it.
• The only constant in this universe is the speed Fingolfin feels like reaching in that particular moment.
• Fingolfin is the one and only perfect inertial frame of reference.
• Fingolfin can express π exactly as a fraction, because he won’t stand for irrational behaviour. 
• Once Fingolfin made the the harmonic series converge with a single look.
• Science does not advance by successive discoveries, sometimes Fingolfin simply deigns to tell someone what he already knew.
• Fingolfin can make lithium oxidize oxygen.
• Ice floats on water because.. it’d better do. Otherwise it will have to answer to Fingolfin!
• Fingolfin can list all the symmetry classes of a molecule blindfolded and hanging from the ceiling.. Too bad nobody can blindfold him. 

If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll find more Fingolfin - Chuck Norris jokes :D If not, I’m all out of ideas because my brain is feeling like custard today

• Fingolfin died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet
• Fingolfin has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life
• Some magicians can walk on water, Fingolfin can swim through land
• Fingolfin has a polar bear rug in his room. The bear isn’t dead, it’s just afraid to move
• Fingolfin can cut through a hot knife with butter
• Death once had a near-Fingolfin experience
• Fingolfin doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
• Fingolfin destroyed the periodic table, because Fingolfin only recognises the element of surprise. (Feanor was v angry about this one)
• Fingolfin does not sleep. He waits.
• Morgoth checks under his bed for Fingolfin before sleeping

• Fingolfin once crossed the Helcaraxë in 15 minutes, 14 of which he spent building a snowman.
• Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Fingolfin is just plain logic.
• Fingolfin beat the sun in a staring contest.
• Once a cobra bit Fingolfin’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
• Fingolfin doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square. or not
• Fingolfin can kill two stones with one bird.

• Fingolfin makes onions cry.
• Fingolfin can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
• Fingolfin CAN find the end of a circle.
• Fingolfin doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
• Fingolfin can drown a fish.
• If you spell Fingolfin wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Fingolfin?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Fingolfin allows to live.
• Fingolfin's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
• Fingolfin can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
• Fingolfin's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Fingolfin will not take shit from anyone.

If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll find more Fingolfin - Chuck Norris jokes :D If not, I’m all out of ideas because my brain is feeling like custard today

• Fingolfin died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet
• Fingolfin has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life
• Some magicians can walk on water, Fingolfin can swim through land
• Fingolfin has a polar bear rug in his room. The bear isn’t dead, it’s just afraid to move
• Fingolfin can cut through a hot knife with butter
• Death once had a near-Fingolfin experience
• Fingolfin doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
• Fingolfin destroyed the periodic table, because Fingolfin only recognises the element of surprise. (Feanor was v angry about this one)
• Fingolfin does not sleep. He waits.
• Morgoth checks under his bed for Fingolfin before sleeping

• Fingolfin once crossed the Helcaraxë in 15 minutes, 14 of which he spent building a snowman.
• Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Fingolfin is just plain logic.
• Fingolfin beat the sun in a staring contest.
• Once a cobra bit Fingolfin's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
• Fingolfin doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square. or not
• Fingolfin can kill two stones with one bird.