One of the (many) very cute things that Wash does is go to bed at around 9:30, whether we're going to bed or not. *Usually* this means he's getting on the bed when I'm getting out of the shower, but on Fridays and Saturdays, we stay up later and he just kinda disappears when *he* thinks we should be getting ready to sleep.

Saw two guys on a crowded subway with no poles free, so they interlocked hands and acted as each other's anchor. I think that’s everything love is in one gesture.

My fucking cat has figured out how to gently dig his claws into my eyelid and pull my eyes open while I'm sleeping. He does this. It does not hurt. He is remarkably precise and gentle. I however am asleep when it happens and do not appreciate being clockwork oranged by a needy clingy goddamn animal who thinks he needs attention.

I would like to clarify that this animal self feeds and is not being denied breakfast by my sleeping in. He doesn't do this to anyone else. Everyone else simply gets increasingly invasive headbutts and even thats a fairly rare occurence. This fucking cat needs to cuddle with me specifically, And he is decided that the best way to do it is to gently shove his claws underneath my eyelashes and pull. There is no way I can train him out of this because believe it or not shoving your fingers in somebody's eyes to wake them up has the desired reaction.

We have come to a compromise. One that neatly illustrates the reason I'm not wearing an eyemask.

If I have a hair tie on my wrist, my darling sweet baby boy, love of my life and apple of my eye, can gingerly dig his teeth underneath and grab it in his mouth and then back up. and pull. And Snap the hell out of me with the elastic. Again, he is very gentle and precise, there are never teeth touching my skin. This is not a fluke, he managed this several times in various circumstances and positions.

This is worse than a toddler. We are approaching diabolical machinations hitherto undreamt of by domestic felines.

Behold, Prince Shithead himself.

"Humans will always make gods out of the absurd" is killing me rn

Thank you! I was extremely stoned when I wrote that tag.

what did I do to deserve tommy

when I needed her most, she appeared, the first time I felt her in my hands she was so tiny and sick I was afraid to get attached to her because her odds of survival were so low, I had just gotten off the psych ward for my depression, I was a 16 year old coming to terms with the fact I would likely be sick forever, and she was there and I loved her despite myself

This is what she looked like when I first held her.

I’m glad I got six and a half years. It wasn’t enough but I’m glad I got it.

Best tweet of the day, bring back funny drawings instead of pictures

When I was a TA for the freshman art class in senior year my students really adored me. It was so sweet. I’d had classes that were more ambivalent toward me but these guys were all about me.

I loved working with that teacher too. He was the kind of crunchy art nerd whose own kid didn’t know what candy was, who loved bird watching and wearing tweed. We’d chat while they worked and it was just a three hour pleasure rather than work.

When the class switched from charcoal to gouache a devil medium, the evilest watercolor, the students struggled. We’d have in class painting where they’d spend the whole time trying to mix one color instead of just accepting something as good enough and trying to practice other skills.

So one day I showed up to my shift and announced, “I have stickers. If you get color down for the whole composition, you get a sticker.”

They wanted. The stickers. So bad. Students who had agonized before about keeping lines neat and perfect plowed ahead. The first student to call me over I tsked at. “Putting grey on everything doesn’t count,” I chided, “I asked for colors on each object.”

The classroom worked in furious joy, young adults who had seen my bird and cactus stickers and gone feral. The teacher was flabbergasted. “Why do they want stickers? They could just buy stickers…”

I held up my water bottle and showed him a tiny 3D bubble sticker the program director had brought to my game teams space last week. “You never grow out of wanting to earn a sticker.”

By the end of class everyone had a sticker. There was more visible improvement in the work too, which surprised them since they’d been rushing. “Gouache looks terrible before it looks good. It’s okay to start messy and then refine.” The teacher had said the same thing but looking at their frantic sticker paintings they finally saw the truth of it.

Oh, another fun thing with this class. So my game teams producer did camp stuff and when she wanted the whole teams attention she’d say in a clear voice, “If you can hear me clap once!” She’d clap once and there’d be a scattered clap of people belatedly hearing her.

Then, “If you can hear me clap twice!” She’d clap twice and there’d be a strong synchronous second clap as we all joined in silent unison, giving her our full attention.

Some teammates felt this was infantilizing but most of us liked it. The reality of trying to rally 20 people simultaneously without shouting meant it was the most effective method any of us discovered.

So one day in class this professor, who refused to raise his voice, tried in vain to get the classes attention. I knew he would loathe what I was about to do but I grinned impishly and said, “Can I try?”

He gave a tired nod and I called, “If you can hear me clap once!” There was a confused array of claps the first time, but the second clap was just as crisp as I could wish. Many of the class looked bewildered that they’d obeyed, but all were silent and attentive.

I looked back at the professor who was visibly cringing into his tweed. “Never again,” he promised me.

I sweetly agreed and never did it again but his absolute horror was worth it.

I hope you can appreciate how long it took me to dig this up but have the time a student traded me a petrified rat heart for a toy bison.

THE IF YOU CAN HEAR ME CLAP ONCE IS MY TRICKKKKKKK (granted, with middle and high schoolers)

The third step is "if you can hear me take a deep breath in.... deep breath out" which gets 90% of them to stop talking. You will usually get one or two exaggerated gasps from the class clown(s) but it otherwise largely works

Some behind the scenes tidbits I feel normal about (classic who edition):

- apparently every story Matthew Waterhouse's hairstylist would say they were going to trim his hair and never did, resulting in all the variations from crusader triangle to fuck ass bob to shaggy mullet

-Peter Davison was unaware he was many people's sexual awakening in his dressing gown in black orchid

-Colin baker was mistaken for a runner by another actor in arc of infinity and asked to go fetch a coffee (which he did)

-he would also walk around making chicken noises on the set of arc of infinity (until he was told to stop)

-Matthew didn't know adric died in part four of earthshock until he read Peter's script whilst shooting, and was apparently more upset over the fact he was being killed off rather than just leaving

-a lot of the doctor who movie was filmed in the same building as the X-files

-Janet Fielding was told she was good casting for doctor who because she "looked slightly alien"

-Deborah Watling and Frazer Hines used to joke that she left the show because she got pregnant, as she left almost nine months after arriving

-Sylvester Mccoy once couldn't find a filming location until after the doctor who fans, who had been waiting there for an hour

-Paul Mcgann thought all the doctors companions were their kids

-Peter and Sarah Sutton had to stop Janet from accidentally prostituting herself in the red light district

-Sylvester once played the spoons on a guy that tried to menace him

-Paul had to wear a wig because he was casted with the long hair you see in the movie but cut it all off for another role a couple months before they started filming

-Janet called Matthew "matte-finish" and "boom-boom waterhouse" whilst filming earthshock

-the cast bought a prop gun for arc of infinity from a sex shop in amsterdam

(Just to stress I obviously don't know the validity of these I just sourced them from interviews and commentaries!! Please don't come for me if these aren't accurate! These are just some funny things I've heard and if anyone else knows any random facts or stories feel free to reblog/share!!)

when I was a kid I thought the weather guy on TV controlled the weather and he was just telling us what he was gonna do for the next few days. when he said "30% chance of rain Thursday" I thought he was just guessing how likely it was he'd wake up in a rain mood that morning

I feel like I need to explain. there was a whole internal logic here. there was fucking worldbuilding. I knew there were different weather people on the news in different places and I thought each one was the weather decider for their local area. I knew the word "meteorologist" and thought it was a scientist who had expertise in weather control technology. I never questioned why there was bad weather sometimes because "bad weather" was subjective, after all, I liked cloudy days and snow. and the plants need rain, right? so I figured the weather guy probably had regular meetings with local farmers and gardeners to make sure the amount of precipitation and sunlight we were getting was working out for the crops. I never spoke about this to anyone, because I thought everyone knew. at some point my parents had said "this guy on TV tells us what kind of weather we're going to have" and I misunderstood exactly one fundamental point and built out an enormous set of logical conclusions from there. this lasted from like age 3 to age 6 btw

My parents have a “Festivus” party every year and this year I found this sign on their bedroom door

certified door post

A co-worker of mine was standing outside with me during a break from customers to share a cigarette with me, and told me about how he had lost his brother that he was close with some years ago. He told me about how they used to be in a band together with some friends, and how ever since he'd died, he hadn't played any music because he'd been too scared and anxious. I told him about how I'd lost my brother to suicide some years ago.

I went home and pulled out an old tiny wooden box my brother had given me before he'd died. I'd been using it to store guitar picks I'd collected over the years, including one guitar pick that used to be his. I haven't played the guitar since he'd died, my hands are too small to play some of the chords, so I play bass and piano instead.

I went to work the next day and gifted my brothers old guitar pick to my co-worker. I told him that it'd been sitting in a box for ten years unused, and would probably sit there for longer if I kept it there. Told him that I thought he deserved to have it, because I bet he could put it to better use than I ever would. Told him I didn't feel like it was coincidence that me and him would cross paths with each other in our lives, and that it seemed suiting that we had these similar experiences but split in two halves. That somehow, I felt like he was meant to have the guitar pick. I told him that I knew he'd not played guitar since his brother died, but that if he ever decided to play again one of these days, maybe he'd be able to honor both of our brothers by using that guitar pick.

He almost cried. He thanked me. Then he went home that night and for the first time in years he played the guitar.

I don't know what the meaning of life is or what my purpose is, but I do believe that love and human connection is one of the most important things in life. It's finding ways to tell strangers you love them and share experiences with others. I think it's all just about love.

@nenerobopistol noodles are ready

THIS IS SO FUNNY?? YOU COULDVE TEXTED ME??

The exception is cheesy local commercials. Those should be the only ads. I will listen to someone who runs a store in my city doing an awkward rap. We once had a furniture store with these awful CGI ads and the slogan "where the deals are so low, it's almost criminal!" and then they got shut down, by the cops, because it turned out. It turned out the deals were so low because. You're not going to believe this but the prices were so low it was in fact

Sad news: Walnut the crane, famous for murdering all potential crane suitors before choosing her keeper as her mate, has died

Condolences to her widower