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“whilst father never designed us with desire, it appears he didn’t let Fulgrim know.”

“you desire knowledge do you not brother?”

“I desire wisdom, Perturabo desires retribution and Konrad desires justice to be fulfilled. so can you truly say that we do not desire?”

“Allow me to clarify: we weren’t born with sexual desire. My mistake for thinking IT WAS OBVIOUS WHAT I MEANT!” The force of Magnus’ eyeroll knocks loose a few miniatures from @askbelisarius-cawl’s desk.

You sure Magnus? The way you parade around in nothing but a loincloth seems to suggest you just want some attention. Maybe you’re wishing Slaanesh had taken your eye instead?

“I’d rather be draped in a loincloth than the flesh of innocents.”

Awwww you guys are adorable.

Dating isn’t always just about sex you know :-P

I asked if you wanted to go out. You know. Raid some libraries. Discover new cultures. Brush each other’s long, glorious hair.

Perverts.

You guys wouldn’t be able to see eye to eye, right Magnus?

“… Talk to me secretary, Ahriman. If you can get me into the Black Library, I’ll grant you any reward you desire, mortal. Even if that means being my new favorite. “Konrad, I hate you.”

See My Lord, I’m not the only heretic around this website who wishes a piece of your cute red ass…..to seek the great knowledge of the Universe with you (besides, I’ve already written 4 chapters of the most action-laden smut you will ever get, ha! It’s too late for repentance tsk tsk)

By the way, you should totally see your Daemon Primarch action figure. The ladies can’t get enough of it. I wonder if your brothers are jealous.

But…I’ll settle for Ahriman. He’s cute too.

“I just accepted a submission of said figure. It is flattering, but will never be able to fully capture who I am. “Keep your smut out of my library, please. Send it to Lucius or Fulgrim. They’ll love it more than you know. “AHRIMAN DOES NOT DESERVE LOVE.”

“I enjoy smut……. its a pleasant break from all of these daemonic tomes….”

” Brother…..that is the worst thing you have ever said…..and I’ve read your books “

“Wait WHAT?! LORGAR NO! Do. Not. Do. That.”

“my books are the grand work of chaos Sanguinius. what shall come next will be so heretical that even I may be on the side of the loyalists…” 

“Not even chaos is this mad. If we are to weather this…whatever it is, we must retreat to my fortress on Medrengard. Brothers even you loyalists, you are all welcome to join me. I have seen that darkness this ‘smut’ I would not even wish it upon you.”

“but what do I name this new heresy I wonder….”

“I feel the Great Uniter is appropriate. It brings all of us, imperium, chaos, eldar, necron and many others together in our shared horror. I am doubling Brass Scorpion production. We must destroy this nightmare before Fulgrim can get his grubby little hands on it.”

“ah yes Fulgrim, I will most certainly require his services for this….”

“What are you going to have him do? Snort it?”

“now that is an idea, written in refined warp dust…”

“What the ‘Smut of Lorgar’? By the gods someone kill me now. @askrobouteguilliman40k @asklemanruss40k , @asklionjonson, @askferrusmanus40k one of you kill me they’ve gone mad.”

Maybe this is why father censured him.

“See now that for once that pompous golden windbag had good reason for doing it.”

Can’t tell which pompous golden windbag you mean. Lorgar or Father.

“Touché brother. I meant father. The one whose ego eclipses even the one of that degenerate god Slaanesh.”

This might call for a 14th Black Crusade against the coming smut

Let the smut…BURNNNN

OMG if all it took to bring you boys down was smut I would’ve conquered y’all with my pinky.

I AM THE GODMOTHER OF SMUT.

Heresy personified.

@askkonradcurze @ask-lorgar-aurelian @ask-perturabo @askthecrimsonking

“DEATH TO THE SMUT GODMOTHER!”

- popcorn munching noises -