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bakery au where nicky works in a popular bakery that gets crazy lines around the holidays because they do themed cookies cakes treats etc and joe has the worst luck for craving something sweet on days that are either abnormally busy or are holidays (joe doesn’t notice this pattern; he thinks the bakery is just crazy busy everyday because they have good cookies) so he’ll wait in line for twenty minutes meanwhile nicky is behind the counter fighting for his life putting together all these insane holiday orders worth hundreds of dollars trying to prevent customers from fist fighting over cakes and then joe always appears for 0.5 seconds in the middle of the rush like i would like one cookie please :) whichever one you like the best :) and tips more than double the cost of the actual cookie so nicky starts giving him free extras and the first time he does it joe gets back in the line just to come back in and politely offer to pay because nicky accidentally gave him three cookies instead of one and nicky makes him take another cookie and insists it’s a perk of being a favorite customer before he has to turn away to prevent a middle aged mom from throwing a tantrum because they’re sold out of the sugar cookies she wants. joe finds this confusing bc the reason he tips so much is that he feels bad for only getting one little thing when everybody else seems to be leaving with huge bags but the hot bakery man is giving him free food so hey he’s not going to argue. he and nicky get onto a first name basis, even if they never have time to exchange more than a sentence or two. nicky somehow figures out that joe likes vanilla and buttery flavours more so than chocolate. it’s cool being a regular. 

cut to one fateful valentine’s day that joe somehow has failed to realise is valentine’s day. he waits in the line, comes in and asks for a cookie. nicky charges him the cost of one cookie and then grabs three at random as per their usual exchange, which turn out to be sugar cookies iced to look like those valentine’s sweetheart candies. the first one says hey cutie, the second one says be mine, and the third one says what’s your number? 

joe, a little confused but a lot flattered, scribbles his phone number and a little message with a winky face on his receipt and stuffs it into the tip jar with a bill. then he walks out of the bakery and goes about his day, wondering absently if anything will come of it, and if a baker would enjoy a first date where joe cooked him dinner. 

it takes him 45 minutes to realise it’s valentine’s day. it takes 3 more for him to realise that nicky didn’t personalise those cookies just for him, and half a second more to decide he can never enter the bakery again, and in fact might have to leave the country. 

at 6:07 that evening, seven minutes after the bakery has closed, when joe is on the way over to andy’s to lament the state of his life, he gets a text from an unknown number that says you are either the boldest man i’ve ever met in my life or the dumbest. when are you taking me out? xx - nicky

Joe and Nicky Wedding planners AU where they started the business by chance and found themselves surprisingly good at organising weddings, they're known for their respect and attention to everyone's culture and religion. the truth is that they are a bit of a mess because they own only one Business Savvy™️ Braincell and they exchange it like a hot potato every 30 minutes. so you'll have Joe crying during the first meeting with a new client because they are so cute and in love I love my job, meanwhile Nicky has to put on his Serious Face©️ and tell them the venue can't be done with their current budget. But then Nicky is the one who buy the flowers out of his own pocket because he really likes these two, okay? Joe shut up I am not crying, we have attended too many weddings to be crying when the brides enter.

Also the kick is that everyone thinks they are a couple but they're just–really good friends, okay? Really good friends, we never even kissed. it drives EVERYONE mad. How can they be only friends. It must be a joke. right??? right?

So you'll have a wide-eyed client who is as romantic as Joe say: "How long have you and Nicky been together?" and Joe answers without missing a beat: "Eight years," because he thinks the future groom is asking about the business (SURE). "Oh that's so lovely! I couldn't wait two years before asking Oliver to marry me." And then you see understanding dawning on Nicky who has overheard the conversation and he intervenes: "We're not together, Joe and I are just friends and business partners." Only that makes Joe sad because he's been pining steadily for five out of the eight years. Fast forward to the wedding Joe and Nicky end up slow dancing (*sighs* again), it's not even the alcohol fault because Joe doesn't drink, then why are they looking at each other like that?

Things go on for so long that Nicky and Joe end up organising all their friends' weddings and it's during Andy and Quỳnh unconventional marriage celebration that Nicky starts crying and Joe goes: "Oh, come on, we've been over this. They'll be fine, Quỳnh adored the venue."

"You fucking idiot," Nicky says. "I'm not crying for the wedding."

"You aren't?"

"I'm crying because I want to marry you."

[OF COURSE There is Booker behind them collecting the half-empty bottles of wine, so drunk he lets out the most undignified noise of happiness and relief, thank god there's Nile dragging him away before he can interrupt the moment everyone has been waiting for nine years. about fucking time etc etc, be prepared to receive the invitations. the budget is tight but they'll make it work, because they always do.]

i'll see your (extremely valid!) joenicky eurovision meet cute and raise you: only acceptable ballad singer/songwriter on the planet yusuf al-kaysani and glam rock/heavy metal lovechild nicolo di genova have been happily married for 10 years and the world is about to find out.

#nicky kisses joe in front of like 30 cameras as the votes are coming in#the internet is like love 2 see artists keeping the tradition of pissing off homophobes on live tv#the next day nicky's giving an interview and the reporter is all#'you put on a great performance but came in second how do you feel about that?'#and nicky's like well first of all i'm very proud of my husband for winning!#and the reporter is like haha you guys are really taking this act seriously#and nicky looks them dead in the face and produces the wedding photo he keeps in his wallet at all times#also their stage personas and irl styles are hilariously different#joe's understated yet stylish romantique very fine fabrics and a few strategically placed sequins#nicky's like barely broadcast-able sluttiness#irl they're athleisure dudebro and h&m 50% off sales rack respectively

don't hide the gold in the tags, i beg you :D

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i'll see your (extremely valid!) joenicky eurovision meet cute and raise you: only acceptable ballad singer/songwriter on the planet yusuf al-kaysani and glam rock/heavy metal lovechild nicolo di genova have been happily married for 10 years and the world is about to find out.

#nicky kisses joe in front of like 30 cameras as the votes are coming in#the internet is like love 2 see artists keeping the tradition of pissing off homophobes on live tv#the next day nicky's giving an interview and the reporter is all#'you put on a great performance but came in second how do you feel about that?'#and nicky's like well first of all i'm very proud of my husband for winning!#and the reporter is like haha you guys are really taking this act seriously#and nicky looks them dead in the face and produces the wedding photo he keeps in his wallet at all times#also their stage personas and irl styles are hilariously different#joe's understated yet stylish romantique very fine fabrics and a few strategically placed sequins#nicky's like barely broadcast-able sluttiness#irl they're athleisure dudebro and h&m 50% off sales rack respectively

don't hide the gold in the tags, i beg you :D

Joe has been waiting in this coffee shop line for no less than ten minutes, but he doesn’t mind because he’s spent that long looking at the man in front of him. The line of those shoulders and the curve of that long neck reminds Joe of someone he can’t place. Still, he’s almost positive that he knows this man. A memory, somewhere, sits in the back of his mind, itchy.

When the man turns, chin to shoulder, and gifts Joe his profile, the sight of a prominent nose is enough.

“Nicolò!”

It’s been years, but Joe would never forget his childhood friend. As neighbors who went to different schools, they were inseparable in the evenings. For summers, they were practically attached at the hip.

Nicky has grown since then, filling out his lean frame. Lanky limbs are now solid mass. And those shoulders. Shoulders that tense up as Joe watches, until Nicky looks like a rubber band pulled too tightly, ready to snap.

Sighing, he half-turns toward Joe, though his gaze remains elsewhere. “Did you want a selfie together? Or an autograph?”

Joe frowns. He’s heard from his mother that Nicky is doing well for himself - she’s seen him on television. But Joe doesn’t watch television. Maybe he’s been afraid to. Maybe he wants the past ten years back, to stand once more under that tree in Nicky’s backyard where they said goodbye, and actually kiss him this time.

Joe said Nicky’s name on reflex. Perhaps he should have let the past live in the past.

“No,” Joe says. “Sorry.”

Joe ducks his head, but he still feels the moment Nicky sets his eyes on him. He hears the soft intake of breath. He watches Nicky’s shoes as those feet twist further until Nicky is entirely facing him.

“Yusuf?”

Afficher davantage

I get that most Bodyguard AUs have Joe as the bodyguard because he’s a bit more ripped but consider this:

Artist!Joe who needs a bodyguard for (insert plot here- he’s the relative of someone important and they’ve been getting threats), so he begrudgingly agrees to have a bodyguard as long as they don’t get in his way too much because he’s busy Creating.

And then Nicky shows up and he’s this alarmingly handsome Italian dude with eyes Joe can’t look away from who just smiles placidly and wears fuzzy sweaters and doesn’t seem at all the Type to be a bodyguard.

Maybe Booker (who is Joe’s bro but also kind of a dick) jokes that Nicky is maybe under qualified or even scamming Joe so when they’re next together he lunges at Joe without warning and Nicky just knocks his ass down before he can even get close and then goes back to being like (◡‿◡) immediately after. And of course Joe was already kinda falling for him but then it’s just maximum heart eyes.

Idk I just think that would be neat. 😌

Sleep well

eternal lovers

(909): send nudes

(951): from the living room?

The Old Guard  (2020)

Joe & Nicky

joe and nicky’s cute lil’ hug + bonus boop 

d i s t r a c t i o n s set in one long winter they spend as visiting scholars at the local art history faculty, featuring a stray campus cat called boot my @theoldguardevents gift exchange gift for @sunshineandchemistry who said that she liked soft things, so i brought some literal fluff - i hope you enjoy it!

still trying to imagine what it would look like when joe and nicky are “pissed at each other” but all my brain can come up with is both of them being like