Crowleychild

Good Omens the Little Mermaid AU

I have an art degree.

BUWAHAHAHAHHAHAA This is the best thing I’ve seen today

I was thinking about Aragorn’s stupidly long legs again and I think it should be canon that he regularly smacks his forehead into low door frames and stuff. Just somwhere in Minas Tirith there’s a loud thunk followed by a long string of Sindarin swearwords and Arwen is like “ah yes, here he comes, the King of Gondor and Arnor, the love of my life.”

#it’s funnier because none of the humans around her are able to hear the thunk and the swearing so they think she has some kind of#Magical Elf Love Sense that anticipates his arrival#but no#she just hears him smacking his head on the weirdly low door by the eastern staricase AGAIN#also the elves are just as tall or taller but they NEVER smack their heads on the doorframes#unless they are very very drunk

WHY would you hide these GOLDEn additions in the tags?

#tolkien#lotr#aragorn#arwen#i see this headcanon and i raise you ‘minas tirith is the only city where aragorn does not smack his head on the doors’#because it was built by numenoreans before they were diminished (in spirit but also in height) by their exile#for everyone except aragorn and arwen the doorways are weirdly tall#for aragorn it’s just ‘oh thank the valar i don’t have to duck anymore’#it still takes him some time to shake the habit of ducking every time he goes through a doorway though#the first time faramir sees him do this he is very confused#the second time he sees arwen stuff her entire hand in her mouth to keep from laughing and is even more confused#the third time he asks what’s going on and almost dies of laughter when aragorn sheepishly explains that he’s used to smacking his head#every time he goes through a door

@winterinhimring YES

#So Rivendell ought to likewise have plenty of height in their doorways#Thus he didn’t develop the habit to duck early in life and so we get to keep the bit about Aragorn constantly whacking his head against#Other doorframes#But almost everywhere else WILL have shorter doorframes and he FORGETS#(Specially after that exhausting week around the battle of Helm’s Deep. The doorframes of the Riddermark aren’t built for the Dunedain)#So maybe it’s a toss up as to when he remembers to duck and when he forgets and when he remembers he doesn’t actually need to#Get this man some stability he’s earned it

@lady-merian These are BRILLIANT additions.

more excellent tags from @exercise-of-trust 😂

Bree being one of the only settlements that is actually designed to accomodate both tall and short people is actually surprisingly easy for Strider, as he is like. Aha. Inclusive architecture. The presence of a choice of doorway heights signals to me that I must pay attention to which one I select!

Unfortunately, his increased awareness of his head directly corresponds to reduced awareness of his legs, and while he can brilliantly navigate his way to a good Lurking Corner in any given Bree pub without hitting his head on a single chandelier, he then stretches out his legs and wipes out two hobbit servers with glasses, a guy selling spectacles, the chandelier itself, and ultimately a percentage point of the local economy