every time a new SA allegation of a favored celeb arises, i'm reminded of the absolutely soul-crushing experience of the depp/heard trial in which i learned that dozens of ppl i loved + respected + trusted were also willing to engage in the basest form of misogyny if the woman Seemed Crazy Enough. there was a horrifying 2ish weeks on this website + much longer irl where i genuinely felt unsafe voicing my discomfort as i relived something eerily reminiscent of the aftermath of my own assaults playing out on screen, commented on by true crime youtubers like it was a red sox game.
it happens time + time again with every new allegation + it's truly the most agonizing + exhausting part of being a survivor. i am begging you all to consider that survivors are watching you engage with this stuff like theater + it erodes our trust in all of you + compounds our grief.
a few ppl have commented variations of "this was me :( i regret it but i just hadn't done the research + was relying on secondhand evidence" + while i don't want to put them in a spotlight or attract hate, that is... exactly the problem. it goes so much deeper than "i was duped by depp's marketing/legal team in this single scenario" because "this particular woman is crazy + making up abuse for attention because she's actually a [insert diagnosis here] who torments men for her own sick pleasure" should 100% of the time ring alarm bells for you! there's something deeply wrong with your feminist politic if you'll abandon it once the perpetrator starts trending on twitter!
content like "[description of her assault] sounds like a good time in bed to me" or "this has emboldened me to say that [people sharing her diagnosis] need to unfollow me" (two real things that both went viral!!!) should never be acceptable to you, regardless of who the target is. women who you do not respect or who you think are Bad People are still not acceptable targets for saneism or misogyny. even women who have done actual, provable harmful things are still not acceptable targets for saneism or misogyny.
perpetrators are almost universally more powerful + beloved than the ppl they have harmed; they exploit this power to their advantage. perpetrators often retain the charisma + poise + calm which sexual assault strips from you like wet fucking paper. "calm beloved man dealing with his crazy clingy jilted ex who is actually the abusive one, probably, i mean look at her!" is a tale as old as time, not a fluke, so if you don't develop an actually principled stance on sexual assault which you apply regardless of the likability or press coverage of the harmed person, you are not an ally to survivors.