my horrible ex husband. my beautiful wife,,,,,,,,my .john.
get ready for horrible fictkin ramblings
okay so. youre not like. in the fandom. so ill jsut explain the basics. john and i worked together. at peip. a secret part of the us military that investigated paranormal extraterrestrial and interdimensional phenomena. i was his mentor. and we. were in love. it was a secret, obviously, it was the early 2000s in the fucking us military, of course it was a secret. didnt stop us, though. he was everything to me.
but. then. the portal. peip built a portal to access a place beyond all realities, the black and white. we knew it was risky, but. they never told us how deeply unstable it was. he gave me his dog tag. as a little good luck charm. i never managed to give it back.
i went through the portal. it was dark, at first. just endless blackness. then He revealed Himself to me. first it was wiggog y'wrath, the lord in black, then his brothers. pokotho, bliklotep, t'noy karaxis, nibblenephim. it was horrible and yet everything about it was so right. it was terrific in every single sense of the word. and i knew. they would bring about salvation, the true gods. (for um. context. these are horrible eldritch gods that want to destroy humanity. telling this from my perspective at the Time but they fuckeddd with my head. a lot.)
it felt like i was there for a month, but when they finally dragged me out, i had only been gone for a few hours. still, i tried to tell them the truth and they didnt listen. said id gone mad. howd john describe it. a raving lunatic. they tried to fix me, like that was possible, but i managed to get out before they fucked with my head even more. i want to say i didnt see john until he saw me, but. thats a lie. the black and white is just. a void. mostly. and after a few years all i could feel was boredom. so i watched him. started from afar, catching glimpses of him any time he went out in public. he still looked like shit. but he. slowly got better. slowly started moving on. and god that fuckking hurt. there was a time, a few years after the portal. maybe around 2010 ish. that i would watch him sleep every fucking night. i wanted to slit his throat. i didnt.
(more plot context bc i started rambling. the lord in black wiggog y'wrath, also known as wiggly, wants to enter the world and make it his. to do so, he needs a cult, which he gets by getting people obsessed with dolls of him. peip sends the president, howard goodman, through the portal to the black and white to speak with him. try to negotiate by threatening to nuke him)
then. im so fucking close to finishing wigglys plan. but. john. he came into the black and white after the president did. wiggly was about to kill him. but john. came through. stopped it. it still worked out, in a way. johns spirit dissolved into the black and white. howie got out, they sent in the nuke, but. they forgot the russians had a portal too. moscows gone and world war 3 is imminent. we still couldve won. but that bastard gave his gun to that little brat through the black and white. she gave it to barnes, who used it to kill the prophet. the world still ended, but because of john, wiggly had no chance to reign.
and i miss him. i miss him so fucking bad. i remember him helping me go to sleep after id pulled a couple all nighters in a row. i remember letting him win at chess as i taught him until he was actually better than me. the way his breath always smelled a bit like coffee. the way he held me when i cried to him about my father. the way id held him when he did the same. the way we always promised each other we'd quit smoking and never did. his problem got a lot worse after i went through the portal.
anyway i got post limited half an hour ago so ive been able to add so much to this. sorry for the length
