#(he’s too old for this shit) – @crosbyism on Tumblr

crosbyism reblogged

stillfertile

guys guys. new crack ship proposal but the more I think about it the less of a crack ship it becomes

stillfertile

have yall considered gretzky/biz

stillfertile

HEAR ME OUT theyre hate fucking

gretzky fucking hates being on that panel I know it, and biz is the majority of that reason. Biz is cocky and stupid and talks before he thinks (if he even thinks) and gretzky really should show him the only thing his mouth is good for MEAHWHILE BIZ HAS THE BIGGEST HERO WORSHIP CRUSH LIKE HE WANTS TO IMPRESS HIM SO BAD IT MAKES HIM LOOK STUPID (more than he already does, which is impressive)

also just.... idk there's something religious about it

gretzky is THE hockey god, the face of hockey, everything he touches becomes pure

meanwhile biz played in the nhl but he didnt even retire, he was just left unsigned, unwanted, and now he represents everything toxic and ugly in hockey culture

#dude this is great #also would think it’s funny for wayne to like. not hate it (hate is too strong a word)#but just be extremely ‘:/ you live like this?’ about everything biz says #like this is THE original homoerotically soviet loving twink #they’d get up to the hotel room and biz would say something extremely [internalised homophobia]right before wayne’s about to put it in #and wayne is too polite to say anything. also he’s about to put it in. and he’s not about to stop biz from getting on his dick bc #well. they’ve gotten this far #but he’s just extremely :/ about everything that comes out of biz’s mouth #he ends up very kindly coaxing biz into not talk with a ‘be good for me and keep it down hey’#but really on the inside he’s SO glad he got biz to shut the fuck up so he can nur and make an extremely polite n smooth getaway #(he’s too old for this shit)#meanwhile biz is vibrating out of his skin because he’s being GOOD for GRETZKY and he has GRETZKY’S DICK INSIDE HIM #(shut up whit it’s not gay if it’s gretzky. yeah i know he’s over 50. you’re telling me GRETZKY’S tellin you to batter up #and you tell him no?? yeah right shit the fuck up right there. ain’t no fuckin way whit you’re full’a shit)#he has the time of his life. first overall orgasm. it’s a lifelong achievement. he gets sentimental about it sometimes #it’s the worst lay of wayne’s life. he never tells a living soul about it #n e way i need to stop lmao #i’m taking the funny crack ship too far #bizgretzky #paul biznasty #wayne gretzky