We as a society need to take advantage of Bruce’s movie trauma more.

First of all, not only is he incredibly apprehensive about cinemas, he’d also be way too busy with Batman and single mom-ing to stay in the cinematic pop culture loop?

I wanna see Bruce who only ever watches recorded Gray Ghost tapes. Name any movie post 2001. He hasn’t watched one.

When the Batkids enter the picture, they hold a contest on who can inflict the hardest psychological damage. Tim tries hooking him on Mean Girls but Bruce is too scared of Regina.

Steph: Okay so, it’s her wedding day and she strategically invites all three of her mother’s exes to find out who her biological father is, but! They all just end up adopting her instead!

Bruce: [Quiet but excited clapping]

Dick shows him Twilight. The resemblance between him and Robert Pattinson freaks him out.

they're adorable i'm obsessed with them

[ It's Halloween, the bell rings at the Wayne Manor, Bruce Wayne goes to open the door. ]

Jason, dressed in a $5 Batman costume: trick or treat

Bruce:

Bruce: Why are you dressed like that.

Jason: Because it's my costume?? All you gotta do is go to the costume store and say make me look STUPID- [strikes a Batman pose]

Bruce, groaning: Don't stand like that!! That's not-

Jason: That's how you stand!

Bruce: That's not how I stand. I stand like-

Jason: This is exactly what you look like.

Pros of re-reading your own fic

Cons of re-reading your own fic:

I think baby Bruce looked like a chunky old man or a stoic faced medieval woman in a painting, no in between

The creacher

“Scream if you have to,” is such a terrifying phrase to hear from Bruce. But I think the Batkids actually need to hear it — whether they’re getting a bad break reset, or having a wound cauterized, or something else extremely painful — it can be a relief to know you’re allowed to yell and make noise. Relieving to know that Bruce says it’s okay to scream.

hey. HEY. dont hide this in the tags, this is GREAT analysis.

Imagining the various ways Batman and Brucie intersect from Jim Gordon’s POV and the funniest one my brain can come up with is:

Batman, examining the crime scene: “…you can’t do cocaine like that.”

Jim Gordon: “Wait. You can’t?”

Batman: “It’s not — if you try to inhale it like he did, you’d choke. But you wouldn’t die. Not even if it was laced with something.”

Jim Gordon, peering over his shoulder: “Uh huh.”

Batman:

Jim Gordon:

Batman:

Jim Gordon: “Why do you know so much about how to do coke?”

All the mob bosses in Gotham showing up for the Wayne’s funeral, and Martha’s side of the family not coming at all. Yeah.

you know what? Fuck you. *turns your strong and stoic and serious character into a crying, traumatized, whimpering, curled up mess in the floor*

Tim: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Dick: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital

Jason: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you.

Dick: but I heard a siren.

Tim: That was Bruce screaming.

GN CHAT

Zack Snyder is the Elon Musk of DC I believe

Listen.

To say Bruce’s no kill code is born out of the generic “killing bad, no killing good” ideology is objectively incorrect, and waters down how incredibly abstract his stance on killing is.

Bruce is a vigilante. Vigilantism directly defies traditional conducts of law, and operates under the individual’s own rules, beliefs, and boundaries.

This is not a moral issue. It has never been a moral issue.

My biggest gripe with Batman writers is that they don’t understand how his trauma works. It’s not killing, it’s murder.

It’s the concept of someone taking your life because they feel it’s within their rights to do so. That is Bruce’s trauma, and that’s what writers like Snyder don’t get.

Batman Appreciation Post #9

Very Demure

Batman Master Collection

Lois finding out Bruce's secret identity and using/abusing his expertise on crime and weird combat shit to ask him questions for background on random pieces she's assigned to.

"Hey hotshot. Quick question. Hypothetically, can you, or can you not, die from a punch to the throat."

"Hello, Lois. Nice to hear from you again."

"No, I don't think you heard me. Throat punching. Is that a thing?"

"A thing?"

"Can someone die if you punch them hard enough in the throat? Google says maybe."

"Looking it up on Google. That's a new low for you, isn't it?"

I love my job, but reblogging employment jelly for someone else I love.

yesterday i was insane about that fictional man. today i am insane about that fictional man. tomorrow? take a wild guess brother