tear down this fourth wall

we did it tumblr

SCHOLASTIC MAGAZINE???

Not only has Goncharov broken containment but it's now fully immortalized in print. Fantastic work everyone.

Truly, the greatest mafia movie ever made.

tumblr tuesday: the greatest mafia movie

There's so much lore. An original soundtrack (masterlist here, thanks to @thisisnotjuli). It all began with a pair of boots. Then, a movie poster by @beelzeebub:

And here's how it's going:

@ms-musers:

@lspy:

@monsterhospital:

@waldwynde:

@fireleaptfromhousetohouse:

@mjulmjul:

@marella-moon:

@holl-horse:

@bricktoygrapher:

@greenscircus:

@theshitpostcalligrapher:

@sweetdollface:

@onion-souls:

@onemagpie:

@gregspectations:

@mimiadraws:

@flurgburgler:

@shrugsinchinese:

@runfreebirdrun:

@when-sanpape-arts:

@marblellous:

@ynngaa:

@vanwizard:

@inthefallofasparrow:

@1percentcharge:

And lastly, before she was Wonderwoman, @reallyndacarter was "Dancer #2." She has kindly revealed this hitherto unreleased photo from the world premier of the film:

Obsessed with Goncharov? Need more? If you want to join in, please be sure to use the tags #goncharov (for posterity) and #unreality (for those who need it). Take care out there!

[art by @beelzeebub ]

i'm so glad goncharov happened when it did, right before prolific public use of AI. that was pure honest gaslighting straight from the heart. real human whimsicality and trickery thru blood sweat and tears. we were a family. and we all gonched, together. you cant replicate that with any machine.

of all Riccardo Estli's compositions, I think his "Katya's Waltz" from the Goncharov score is one of his most beautiful

OH YOU SNEAKY—

The way I was like “oh that’s a pretty composition what’s the joke?” And didn’t even recognise it

over and over again

goncharov (1973)

Goncharov was special because not only did we establish canon, we created a whole fanon gay interpretation and proceded to ignore the (not even real) original in favour of it. And thats what tumblr is all about.

the beauty of it is that we *could* have made it gay in the original, being queerbaited was a choice because people of this hellsite are so used to it by this point.

Goncharov wasn't queerBAITING it was queerCODED, how many times---

We clearly need a Goncharov remake, it's been so many years.

Only if the "but I want my ship to be canoooon" people shut up first. Unfulfilled queer longing being painfully suppressed and eventually sublimated into tragically pointless violence was The Whole Point.

Goncharov (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese

“The greatest mafia movie (n)ever made.”

One whole year - how extraordinary 🥳

For me the funniest thing to come out of the goncharov meme was not any of the fake scenes or the nyt articles about it or whatever but the fact that due to the fact that he'd found it funny when I told him about it I got my dad several books by ivan goncharov for christmas that year as a joke fully expecting him to not even touch them BUT to everyone's surprise he read every single one cover to cover and liked them so much that he read dostoevsky and then read tolstoy and then pushkin and then gogol and now barely reads anything that isn't nineteenth century russian literature and also has started watching academic talks about crime and punishment and will randomly bring up shit like the politics present in bulgakov's writing in at LEAST half of our conversations. all because of goncharov

We'll be talking about something normal and he'll go "this reminds me, in tolstoy's essay what is art--" and I just have to quietly live with the knowledge that he only talks like this because of a fake martin scorsese movie that was a joke on tumblr.com

why did you people come up with russian names for what is supposed to be a movie set in italy. what was the thought process here. why does she sound like she walked out of a tolstoy novel

an insane response, but i can't fight this. carry on

im being hunted for sport in the notes

The Muppets as Goncharov (1973)

the only goncharov remake I want is a muppets version

[Image description: Gifs of the muppets with edited captions.

1 - Kermit, wearing a suit, says, "Yes, I am Goncharov."

2 - Several ticking clocks on a wall

3 - Miss Piggy and Kermit kiss, while Miss Piggy says, "Of course, we're in love; that's why I tried to shoot you."]

Well. There is a trailer.

Some of my personal favorite internal variants of the Goncharov poster 🤗❤️

"Goncharov" (AI71 - PE)

Au where Goncharov and Andrey survive everything, grow old together and sit on a street all day somewhere in the south of Europe

This is my favorite Goncharov post so far because:

1. The concept of an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE for a movie that DOESN'T EXIST is sending me into another dimension.

2. Despite appearing nonsensical, we of course are living in a world where the established Canon of Goncharov is that they do not survive everything and grow old together.

3. Of fucking course Tumblr would imagine a movie with two characters with intense homoerotic subtext, kill them violently with their love unfulfilled, and THEN create AU FAN ART WHERE THE LOVE IS FULFILLED.

And all of it fucking slaps I love this so much

Thank you for the great addition! I’m so glad that people get my joke hehe

I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY ARE MAKING A REMAKE OF GONCHAROV WITH JESSICA FUCKING LANGE!!! SO HYPED IM GONNA GO FERAL

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

How the fuck does his have less than 200k after setting the internet on fire for months