this is all just so fucking sad

being a dsmp fan is like how much can this thing you've loved for years be warped beyond recognition as you're shown over and over and fucking over the awful sides of every adult who had every opportunity to be kind & good & normal to the kids they interacted with that idolized them and instead they're awful years later they're still awful disgusting people. it's just fucking sad what every kid who played on that server went through it's devestating

at this point i feel so fucking tired of the dsmp, it's been emotionally exhausting after everything with wilbur, and now learning about how tommy tubbo and all of the kids who were on that server were treated i feel horrible. again it's all so goddamn sad. this isn't fun anymore and if i'm being honest with myself it stopped being fun a long time ago. and i somehow still have love for it. i wish i didn't. but how am i supposed to look at things like exile the same as if it isn't tied to how dream the actual guy was treating tommy at the time, how do i look at c!crimeboys the same, how can any of it be the same. i don't know and i don't think it can be for me. i used to advocate hard for the separation between lore and the actual creators but it's hard to do that now and it keeps getting harder. i have tried so many times to see the dsmp in the same light and fondness as i once had. and i just can't do it anymore. it doesn't make me happy. we've all been kicked and scorned and spat on over and over just for loving the dsmp. it fucking sucks. nothing has made me more disillusioned

not to post a long ass multi paragraph thing when this post is already so fucking long and boo hoo woe is me right whatever. this is like a breakup text of sorts so strap in. but like i said i feel beyond disillusioned with everything, i honestly don't even want to see fanworks or really anything anymore. still love my mutuals/friends, you're all funny, brilliant, and so fucking talented. you're what made the dsmp good. and i don't plan on unfollowing people, just filtering shit, but it doesn't make me happy like it used to and hasn't for a while now.

like who knows if i'm just being a drama king, sometimes i am, but i don't think i've ever really felt this fed up with the dsmp. i'm fed up with the "drama" of it all, that doesn't even feel like "drama" or "discourse" or a "situation" anymore, not when minors being exposed to sexual shit is involved among the countless other things over the last few years.

there have been a lot of jokes in the last day or so, from me included, cause quoting a tag i got, "if you don't laugh about it, you'll cry", but it doesn't feel fun to me anymore, i don't want to joke about it, i don't want to post about it. i don't blame anyone for doing so, it's just how i personally feel about everything. It all feels sad and warped beyond recognition. maybe this is a weird final straw to have, idk, but yeah. i want to focus on things that make me happy, that don't make me doomscroll for hours on end, give me a pit in my stomach, make me wake up nauseous, etc. the bad outweighs the good for me

i dont regret my time spent in the trenches, this interest and passion carried me through the shittiest years or my life. i'm very thankful for all the amazing friends i've made through the dsmp. my closest and best friends have been made through it. i'm thankful for all the laughs and everything, but i don't want to think about it anymore. i'll always have love for what it used to be, and what the characters used to mean, but i need to move on. as a wise woman once said fetch the bolt cutters i've been in here too long

this is all just so fucking sad

being a dsmp fan is like how much can this thing you've loved for years be warped beyond recognition as you're shown over and over and fucking over the awful sides of every adult who had every opportunity to be kind & good & normal to the kids they interacted with that idolized them and instead they're awful years later they're still awful disgusting people. it's just fucking sad what every kid who played on that server went through it's devestating

at this point i feel so fucking tired of the dsmp, it's been emotionally exhausting after everything with wilbur, and now learning about how tommy tubbo and all of the kids who were on that server were treated i feel horrible. again it's all so goddamn sad. this isn't fun anymore and if i'm being honest with myself it stopped being fun a long time ago. and i somehow still have love for it. i wish i didn't. but how am i supposed to look at things like exile the same as if it isn't tied to how dream the actual guy was treating tommy at the time, how do i look at c!crimeboys the same, how can any of it be the same. i don't know and i don't think it can be for me. i used to advocate hard for the separation between lore and the actual creators but it's hard to do that now and it keeps getting harder. i have tried so many times to see the dsmp in the same light and fondness as i once had. and i just can't do it anymore. it doesn't make me happy. we've all been kicked and scorned and spat on over and over just for loving the dsmp. it fucking sucks. nothing has made me more disillusioned

A chommy for people who put up with me last night <3

How the Dream situations going:

Btw stellae has spoken on dream:

For context this is how dream treats victims of ppl he knows are perpetrators

being a dsmp fan aged like fine wine into a subscription service where every 1-3 months it feels like someone comes and stabs you with 400 knives. and then you have to go to work

Cc sophietexas has spoken up about dream and her fear. Please read.

this whole thing is just so saddening because a. all dream wants is attention and that's exactly what he's getting and b. just from the messages and stories we've heard, this shit must have been so so bad for tommy. he tubbo and ranboo were just kids going through this, being treated wildly inappropriately by adults with power over them, and it makes me feel sick

THREE HOURS. NOT A SINGLE APOLOGY.

“tubbo and tommy were saying don’t treat us differently” THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU INCLUDE THEM IN CHATS WHERE YOU SEND PORN?????

“If it wasn’t for the fans me and punz would still be friends” YOU FUCKED HIS GIRLFRIEND

do,es anyone on this dash smoke weed

it's important to have bits that aren't good and also nobody likes and also aren't funny