I try to separate my impressions and expression of my own identity from larger cultural/community trends and behaviors, because I don’t want to fall into the thinking that “certain things will make me more of a dog”. But there are times when I feel distant from being a dog, due to the way I commonly see “dog” as an identity being framed within alterhuman spaces. I don’t feel any strong association with the friendly and silly behaviors I see expressed, I enjoy being pet at times but generally I shy away from human touch, and I certainly don’t feel like any sort of “dog boy” or the like, lol. It sucks, I don’t want to be contrarian. I think the “dog boy” archetype can be fun and cool for other people, but trying to see myself in that way makes me feel disgusted. It feels so shallow. I am confident in my expression of being a dog, but a part of me wants to reject my dogness altogether because I so intensely do not want to be perceived in a way that is not faithful to what I am. What do you do when you have no control over how others see the fundamental cores of your existence? I can’t say exactly what kind of dog I am, but I know I am a dog who is driven by instinct. I am not a dog that exists for close connection, I am not a dog that exists to be cute and cuddly and close and fashionable, I am not a dog that exists strictly for someone else, or for visual enjoyment. I am not a source of entertainment, I just am.