no offence but let yourself be ugly!! you don’t have to fix your hair if you’re not going anywhere you don’t have to cover up ur spots or change out of your lounge pants to go buy milk like damn we really gotta let ourselves be comfortable without constantly apologising for just looking normal and it’s hard but i think we need to practice looking in the mirror and saying i look ugly af today and that’s okay!! tru self care is letting urself be ugly tbh
FUCK OUT OF HERE … THEY LOOK WEAK THEY LOOK PALE THEY LOOK DRY.
I just don’t like that you can either be ugly and smart or pretty and dumb, or ugly and nice or pretty and mean.
the first step towards confidence is not being afraid to be ugly
once you get over the fear of being unattractive and stop equating beauty with other good things in life (friends, love, happiness) it’s a lot easier to love yourself unconditionally
your job is not to sit around and be pretty and easy on everyone else’s eyes
your job is to do whatever the fuck you want and look however the fuck you want while doing it
Chuang Tzu
Lamenting the Friendzone, or: The Nice Guy Approach to Perpetuating Sexist Bullshit
Re: This is why society sucks
I HATE when girls act like they get pressured to look a certain way, when guys are really the ones that have to look one way. Guys like girls that look all different kind of ways. But typically the good looking guy looks ONE way. Tall dark and handsome. Everyone wants to be tan, tall, and muscular. That is what men are supposed to look like. But girls get mad when guys want them to have flat stomaches? get the fuck outta here.
I totally agree that there are expectations of men which are unfair. One thing I notice is that if a man is short, his manhood is literally put into question. That’s extremely bizarre to me. A good example of that is actor Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter). He’s short, and a lot of people worry about his acting career because of that alone. His decade of quality acting was not enough to silence people’s concern for his height. The tall, dark, and handsome archetype is definitely present these days. At least we can say that men are usually more physically inclined to be tall and muscular, as opposed to short and scrawny. Women are typically more inclined to be soft around the edges, not flat-bellied. Still, strict beauty expectations are rough on all people.
As a woman, I disagree with your statement that women can look many different ways. Firstly, my main issue with this is that you fail to notice a woman’s value is usually placed in her appearance (particularly her weight) ALONE. If you’re an “ugly girl,” your opinion is invalid, should quit on your dreams, and will have no romantic prospects. Men, though pressured to look a certain way, do not typically have their entire value determined singularly by their appearance.
Let me share some of the demands of girls which you didn’t mention. These demands don’t solely come from men. We have other women and the entirety of media/capitalistic industry to contend with.
THE LIST OF FEMALE BEAUTY DEMANDS (which hardly scrapes the surface)
- Be white.
- If you’re not white, have a firm, plump ass and a sassy attitude.
- Don’t be too white, though, or you’ll look like a sickly ginger, YUCK!
- Be tan.
- But not too tan, or we’ll forget you’re white.
- Be skinny.
- Be blond.
- If you’re not blond, dye your hair blond.
- But don’t be blond, because then you’re stupid.
- So be brunette.
- Unless your hair is nappy, in which case, get a weave or wig.
- But don’t admit to having a weave/wig.
- Natural red hair? Gingers are gross!
- Unless they’re being fetishized.
- Be skinny.
- Have big boobs.
- If not, they better be perky.
- If not, forget about it, grandma.
- Flat-chested? Get breast implants.
- While you’re at it, get some botox, a nose job, liposuction, a tummy tuck, a face lift, a butt lift, and some lip plumpers. And some more breast implants.
- Have smooth skin.
- If not, take meds or use make-up. LOTS OF MAKE-UP!
- But not too much, or you’ll look like a whore.
- At least wear mascara and some eyeshadow, geez.
- If not, you look too dull and unnatural.
- Have long legs.
- If not, be dainty.
- If you’re not, it had better be because you’re athletic.
- But don’t be too sporty. Muscular calves=NASTY!
- Be shorter than men.
- If you’re not, hunch over or pray for the day you meet a guy who’s 6’5”.
- Be skinny.
- Don’t wear glasses.
- Unless they’re ripping off geek culture in an effort to be cute.
- SHAVE!
- If not, just EW, right?
- Why’s it even on the list? Shaving’s the LAW!
- And I mean shave EVERYTHING: pits, legs, and, YES, you’re nasty girl parts.
- Pussy hair? GROSSSSSSSSS!
- If you have even one hair on your body, you’re nasty as hell, OR WORSE, A FEMINIST (because “feminazis” don’t shave according to society, and being feminist is only okay if you meet all of the demands on this list and most importantly are SKINNY AND STILL SHAVE).
- Wait, you’re a girl, but you don’t have a vagina?
- You have a tally wacker? You’re a boy then? Trans* woman? WTF is that?
- EW, TRANS DUDES ARE SO NOT WOMEN.
- Be born woman WITH A VAGINA.
- Most importantly, be skinny. No girl, trans or not, is allowed to be fat EVER!
- If you’re not skinny, gtfo or starve yourself/exercise until you can’t stand, because you’re worthless without this quality.
- REMEMBER: BE SKINNY!
None of the above-mentioned qualities are bad to possess, but those qualities being the expectation and demand is frustrating for women who are different. That would literally be 95% of the world population if we’re comparing women to a Victoria’s Secret model, for example. Though not exactly about beauty, I also wanted to mention the annoyingly contradictory expectations of a woman’s sexuality:
- Don’t have sex because that makes you a nasty slut.
- Don’t NOT have sex because that makes you a frigid prude.
If women play by today’s beauty rules, most women will never be deemed ‘beautiful’, and will therefore never be deemed ‘valuable’. That’s pretty fucked up, so let’s be real. It’s nowhere near as easy for women.