I did fall in love about five years ago. Fell in love. Five years ago. But with somebody I invented. Which isn't ideal. And he was based on somebody who existed, but because I had such low self-esteem I took every negative attribute I felt about myself, converted those into positive attributes, and projected those onto him - thus he would heal me, and complete me, in my life.
A lot of it is narcissism really. I've realised my type is me, but better. Which I think is okay, I just need to find somebody who wants himself, but much much worse.
I went to see him in this play that he was in and he was really vulnerable on stage, and I really like - vulnerability to me is quite sexually appealing. I don't know if you - like you know there are people who are more like "Well we know what we're doing, we've done it before, we'll do it again - everything's fine." To me it's much more sexy if someone's a bit more "Oh, I feel faint," you know? It's hot, right?
