The outcome is only uncertain for those who disbelieve.

It’s wild how “dialogue” just means “teach me everything for free so I can consider paying you some respect”

i understand that white ppl feel anxiety about messing up around poc… you should because that’s what it means to start holding yourself accountable. i’m not saying it should rule your life. if it does, that’s something for you to reflect on and solve, not the poc around you

i don’t think (many) white people will ever understand the anxiety that we feel when we start being a little less stringently polite when talking about racism, when we name actions that maybe white people close to us know they’ve done. we live with this fear inside us that we’re being to aggressive, that if we even name our abuse, we ourselves, are doing something wrong, that the people in our lives will turn on us for demanding respect

this is why woc talking about such sensitive topics are not a teaching moment for white people. it’s something you can’t simply understand with your own bubbling anxiety and desire to be a good person clouding your judgment. it’s not the time or place to teach or talk, when woc reflect on the specific trauma that comes from leftist spaces, from the white women who position themselves as our allies but fail to do the necessary self reflection that allows them to treat us with respect and dignity

if you see a post detailing trauma & abuse from you, not the individual, but the group you are nevertheless a part of (white people, white women), sometimes the only action you can take is nothing visible. your input, your “help,” your “uplifting,” your whatever, is not needed, and only derails the conversation. conversations about healing, catharsis, shared experiences for woc; they’re not supposed to be a warning to white people. they’re for us. we shouldn’t have to be thinking about, catering to, worrying about you in these conversations. 

i’m not saying you must avert your eyes and never read these things. only read them. read & reflect & think about how you can become a better person rather than what you can do to make sure you appear a better person. sometimes the only absolution for what you’ve done will come in the will to change yourself

i know that not everyone clicks on the source, and i talk way too much in the tags, but the ww reblogging this really need to consider my tags:

#also this is ok for white ppl to reblog but pls don’t put a fuckening “im white tag” or “we need to stop” or whatever on it

i don’t want to think about the fact that you’ve been doing this before and want to remind yourself how easy it is to treat us badly (wtf). the entire point is you need to do more silent contemplation. it’s distressing for a number of reasons i can’t fully name and shouldn’t have to, but mostly i don’t want to worry whether my posts are enabling you to think you can keep separating yourselves from other white people. don’t treat us as scions of knowledge living on a mountaintop rather than real women who are just tired and want some fucking peace

Y’all think the way queer people talk about cishets is off putting or mean? Have you ever listened to a bunch of cishet dudes talk about queer and trans people? It’s fucking horrifying.

shout out to people who are scared to call others out, whose hands shake when they try to explain what’s wrong, whose throats threaten to close up with thoughts of ‘what if i’m just overreacting’, whose hearts are pounding out of their chests because they just stuck their necks out for their beliefs, who have lost friends and respect and safety for aligning themselves with causes

This is related to my last post! This is the shapes that brands typically release that I was talking about. Some of these are maybe sort of borderline (most of which would depend on the length of the skirt, which is very hard to tell in stock photos sometimes), and to repeat how these shapes are defined:

Just like in the last post, I’m curious what people think of these skirt shapes in regards to whether or not they are Lolita. With the examples, are there any that you would say are simply not Lolita, even though they’re released by Lolita brands and have typical Lolita elements? All of these are examples from a range of years, some as far back as 2001, but each example has at least one dress from 2009 or after (except the extra long, even though Meta and JeJ often release things in this length! I just had a hard time finding stock photos for either brand), as none of these are “extinct” silhouettes. I’m not trying to argue that these are all perfectly within the Lolita style or anything like that! I am just asking because I am curious what other people’s opinions on different silhouettes within Lolita are! So what do you think?

This is my most reblogged post on my Lolita-blog tumblr, as you can see as of now there are over 6,600+ notes on it. However, despite all of these notes, literally no more than like… 5 people I think… have actually answered the question I asked on it xD A lot of the reblogs seemed to have removed the explanation for it completely, and I am legitimately curious why people are reblogging it in the first place without text. It’s not particularly interesting as just an image, and I honestly don’t think it makes sense as just a picture. However, when I posed the same info to EGL, I got almost 50 responses, and a lot of people commented on each other’s posts. In short: they discussed the topic. This is a pretty good example of why I think Tumblr is a pretty poor place to build a community on, which was something people talked about doing around a year or so ago when there was plans for a member to make a large scale Lolita forum. Tumblr is not really made for discussions. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fine for what it is made for: hoarding and sharing graphics and very brief snippets of text, but just not any sort of place to try to build a community on.

cometocourtyou in response to asoiafuniversity’s post “Mod Note: To be critical of something is not to hate it” (via moniquill)