#peter parker x reader – @cora-notovrloki on Tumblr

Peter: How can I put this… Murder.. it’s just not cool!

Y/N: I agree, Peter, ok? No one is saying murder is cool, okay?

Loki: I’ll take [rips butterknife out of a fresh corpse] that!

Y/N: …OK, maybe him, a little bit…

Peter, wanders after Loki: Hey now, that’s enough, mister Loki!

Bruce: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Thor: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Tony: Then you’re poisonous, you idiot!

Peter: What if it bites itself and I die?

Bruce: That’s voodoo.

Scott: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Bruce: That’s correlation, not causation.

Loki: What if we bite eachother, and neither of us dies?

Y/N: That’s kinky ;)

Loki: You fainted, do you remember anything?

Y/N: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital

Loki: There wasn’t an ambulance, I carried you there

Y/N: …but I heard a siren?

Loki: Yes… That was the spiderling.

Peter: I’m sorry! I got nervous...

Sam: You know you can die from that right?

Loki, smoking a cigarette: Yup. That’s the point.

Thor, downing a bottle of vodka: We’re trying to speed this shit up.

Peter, eating raw cookie dough: *nods