All Dracula facts i drew at the bar earlier

here’s the facts

donald J trump is extremely fully 11 months pregnant

he is pregnant with a litter of half pig half men, somewhat resembling orcs. they were genetically engineered to his specifications and are rumored to be “super soldiers”

the former president became pregnant via embryo transplant - he does not have ovaries or penetrative sex, so insemination is not an option

they are not in his butt or penis - the pentagon hollowed and ballooned out his prostate gland to act as a psuedowomb

donald j trump is in constant pain because of this so he’s constantly smoking weed which just makes him sadder and more pregnant and it’s not so good for the piglets

trump said he got this idea “from sauron” of lord of the rings

when trump gives birth, his perineum will cleanly cleave in two, and a bucketful of viscous green nickelodean slime will dump forth onto the ground. he will steady himself against a ballet bar and dump out the pigfetuses one by one onto the floor with no umbilical cord

when pressed for comment, donald trump specified:

“I love my kids. They are the best. They’ve got strong blood. They’ve got good genes. But I could have better kids. I could have pigmen. Tall. Taller than me, if you can believe it. These piglets are the greatest — people are saying they’re the greatest!”

Happy Mother's Day

Extremley Urgent Action Needed

Hi everybody i hate to to it but im in a realy bad spot and ive been pretty much bummed out really badly lately and lots of people on here are actually being really bad to me constantly and telling me lots of mean shit all the time and im pretty much in a super bad spot because im mentally fucked up badly right now and the theres some some holidays and shit comign up and i dont give a fuck about heaven or hell cuz my life is fucked anyways and going to shit so i dont know how it could really get worst but i pretty much want to treat myself and practice self care by making the right choices for me and getting shit that i really want as a gift to myself since nobody else will ever get me free shit since im a societal freak and a piece of shit apparently and something i really want is a Cast Iron Money Man

So the great part about the guinness Stout moneyman is that on top of making me enjoy my life for once in my fcking life if i had him it would teach me how to save my coins and put them in a safe place so they dotn keep falling down the drain because whenever im counting my pennies and other brown or shiny colored coins its always in the sink cuz thats the only place not filled to the brim with stupid shit i keep finding LOL i keep finding shit on the ground and in the trash and its often interesting as fuck shit like a stick that would be realy goood for turning into a weapon if needs to be if i was attacked from every angel a great way to fight them and a perfect advantage to have is to have the range advantage so if the thieves and other bandits were coming at me with knives and shit i would be able to bash them with my stick and maybe break there bodys while im at it and i could legaly say i killed them to defend my self and all my other shit so anyways theres tons of shit everywhere and since i just throw away my dishes when im done with them because they are way to dirty and beyond even the level to get it cleaned no more cuz shit is dried on there and wont come off if i make it wet i just gie up so that means theres never shit in my sink exept for the coins when im counting them but the big problem is i dont have a money man made out of cast iron to keep my coins safe so they fall down the drain and when i try to pop them up by dumping oil in the drain and using gargage disposal switch it just crunches them up and shoots fragments into my glasses and always breaks my glasses so i always have to get new glasses since they are always breakign whenever i lose my coins but the big problem is since i dont have my coins no more since they all get all torn up and shit its super hard to afford new glasses or food at all even though i dont technicaly have to eat its always fun to eat yummy shit so please consider to send me money to help muy shit as fuck mental get better and invest in my prosperity i promise u it will trickle down to u and u will benefit from my well being im actually working on a new CD right now with dope as fuck music but its realy really hard to be creative when i dont want to get out of bed because im always hung tf over from drinking a shit load of top notch gin a the pub all night and feeling super depresed basicaly my Guinenss beer Shaped money man would be a perfect way to solve my problems let me know if u want to help by clicking the beer above and giving me money to spend on my cast iron money man

Nutrition Facts:

Dude when the age regressor starts waddling towards the unlocked gun safe during littlespace hours...

here’s the facts

donald J trump is extremely fully 11 months pregnant

he is pregnant with a litter of half pig half men, somewhat resembling orcs. they were genetically engineered to his specifications and are rumored to be “super soldiers”

the former president became pregnant via embryo transplant - he does not have ovaries or penetrative sex, so insemination is not an option

they are not in his butt or penis - the pentagon hollowed and ballooned out his prostate gland to act as a psuedowomb

donald j trump is in constant pain because of this so he’s constantly smoking weed which just makes him sadder and more pregnant and it’s not so good for the piglets

trump said he got this idea “from sauron” of lord of the rings

when trump gives birth, his perineum will cleanly cleave in two, and a bucketful of viscous green nickelodean slime will dump forth onto the ground. he will steady himself against a ballet bar and dump out the pigfetuses one by one onto the floor with no umbilical cord

when pressed for comment, donald trump specified:

“I love my kids. They are the best. They’ve got strong blood. They’ve got good genes. But I could have better kids. I could have pigmen. Tall. Taller than me, if you can believe it. These piglets are the greatest — people are saying they’re the greatest!”

the next season of my hero academia shouldnhave a character who can Use Dog Blood

his name could be Dog Blood

disco elysium players be like man I better save and make sure i have enough healing items there's a really tough paragraph ahead

I had a dream that they cancelled the Doppler effect on Twitter and for a few days the phenomenon was no longer perceptible