Just a guy fieri looking for his gurl fieri

queer people on this site really make me feel like a confused straight guy at pride. the discourse here could kill a man

"why polyamorous people aren't valid" "mspec lesbians AREN'T okay actually" "aroallos are freaks" "he/him dni. cis men dni" "this post is for non-men only" yessss and the one with long hair goes in the girl box, then the one with short hair goes in the boy box!!

maybe I'm just a boring he/him white guy but inventing about 7 trillion terms to define "man" and "woman" so you can reinforce gender essentialism isn't very "love is love" of you. maybe i just don't have a sexuality but picking and choosing what sexualities are normal and which ones are "weird and predatory" sounds like we're all a bunch of republicans on fox news. if you attend your local pride parade and look REAAALLLYYY closely, you'll notice you can't actually tell if someone's gay or not from their appearance, and there's no way to know if they're "invading queer spaces". maybe it's just me, but when i attended my local gaybar last night for the drag show, they didn't ask for my gay-card with a peer reviewed diagnosis of faggot stamped on it. they just let me in the building. i live a life of bliss and luxury in not caring about any queer discourse ever, and just going "WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY :-)" while booting up the latest cod game. and it seems much more fun than whatever the fuck you people are on about

muting my notifs for this post but i need to acknowledge this first. My favorite tags fr 🙏

Not gonna lie guys, at this rate we’re never going to become the new PDF

We were gonna be the new preffered format for offical documents with minimal loss of bits.

the most disorienting thing thats ever happened to me was when a linguistics major stopped in the middle of our conversation, looked me in the eye, and said, "you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?" and i had to just stand there and process that one for a good ten seconds

#i was in a car with a linguist i had never met before the car trip and like half an hour in he looked at me#after i finished describing a geology thing that was happening out the window and asked if i'd ever spent much time on tumblr#the fuckor of it all#and then we spent six more hours driving#it sure does leave linguistic markers! i'm not sure i'm good with it (tags via @thoughtsformtheuniverse)

it is one thing to be a linguist and another to be a linguist who knows enough of 2010s Tumblr to spot one of its enjoyers

Linguist: "you speak like a tumblr user"

Me: "And what were you doing at the devil's sacrament?"

Part of what makes Tumblr so deliciously insane is that consistently, every Tumblr community is structured like this:

At the top, you have the S-tier posters. Like, two or three savant-level PHD freaks people who are genuine experts in their field.

At the bottom, you have the rabble. The people who are interested in reading posts about their hobby or current interest.

But in between, you have a gaggle of two-dozen people who have like 20% of a clue, but they're very opinionated, and they've learned how to mimic the S-Tier posters tone of voice and vocabulary.

Ever read a post that sounds like buzzword free association? "This is literally the late stage colonial male gaze enshittification at work?" That's the middle category of poster right there.

TUMBLR IS SO BORING WITH ALL YOU NERDS AT DASHCON

((you all better come back with some amazing tales))

date of origin: 11th of july, 2014.

And boy would they...

Our blessed tumblr

A holy site

Nah nah nah, you ain’t hiding this in the tags

If there's one small joy Tumblr's brought to my life that I genuinely couldn't find anywhere else, it's seeing a long reblog thread where somebody is trying to have a serious political, moral or philosophical debate with what they clearly don't realise is an in-character RP blog. Like, I admire your commitment to your principles, but I do not think that Sasuke from Naruto is taking this as seriously as you are.

I really just saw people who had no idea likes were even stored so now I'm curious. please explain your relationship with the like button

You know, a BETTER moral support treat would be REBLOGGING the post.

So we all know that Tumblr is US-centric. But to what degree? (and can we skew the results of this poll by posting it at a time where they should be asleep?)

Reblog to increase sample size!

The tumblr experience is having politics that make the most left leaning progressive you know irl blush and then logging on here and getting called a bootlicker fascist because you said that you dont think we should make the reign of terror happen again

Me irl: the problem isnt taxes, youre thinking too small. The problem is that the federal government isnt taxing the right people the right amount. Theyre taking all our extra cash in our measly little wealth bracket and letting the billionaires hang on to more money than they can ever spend in a lifetime. The only way anybody gets a single billion is either through exploitation or inheriting it from someone else who did the exploitation, nobody who has that kind of money earned it legitimately. Not only do we need to strip that back into social safety nets for those of us theyre bleeding dry instead, but they need to establish hard laws and regulations to prevent that kind of exploitation from happening in the first place!

My coworkers: man, youre a real red-card commie, aren't you? You gonna start telling us to vote NDP and that healtcare isnt a scam too? Jesus christ go give someone else your goddamn revolution pamphlets, lenin.

Me on tumblr: while i appreciate the animosity towards billionaires, i dont think literally dragging a guillotine into the streets and beheading people as a public spectacle is going to actually solve the problems inherent in the system considering the french already tried that and it didnt work out well for them. Also i dont think anybody has the right to decide who lives and who dies, im pretty anti death penalt-

Tumblr users: how does that boot taste, fascist?