Some Dead Asshole: Sup Ashley, or should I say, Leyley? How's it hanging, sweet stuff? Listen, the Fall Harvest Dance is coming up and I couldn't help but notice you don't have a date. Maybe I could fix that?
🩷: My answer...
(slams her locker door)
💚: ...
🩷: ...is to run.
💚: Jesus fuck, okay, okay, I got all of your text messages and drove home from work as fast as I could! What's the emergen-
🩷: Oh Andddddy! Mom and Dad are out with friends all night long and we have the house to ourselves! Did you want to practice kissing again?
💚: Where...how the fuck did you get that?!
🩷: It wasn't easy. A lot of the clothing brands Mom used to buy me aren't in business anymore, so I had to find the best match I could in adult sizes. But Andddddy, I was hoping you could teach me how to kiss like a grownup?
Ashley: "Hey Andrew."
Andrew: "What's up?"
Ashley: "I was wondering if you'd be willing to quit smoking."
Andrew: ...
Andrew: "Do you honestly want to hang around a guy suffering nicotine withdrawal who knows how to dismember bodies?"
Ashley: ...
Ashley: "That's kinda hot."
