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hi helo greetings here is an opinion by ME.

File under: Things I did not expect in this month’s Cosmopolitan, but I am quite impressed by. Now if they could write a little more about it that would be great.

(Also if someone who was asexual could actually confirm this is an appropriate and nice response, because I’m assuming it is.)

reasons why asexuality & ace spectrum orientations need to be recognized and discussed in the mainstream media. i wonder how many people realized asexuality existed after reading this article? and looked into it and felt that relief of “i’m not alone!!! i’m not a freak!!!”

Color me impressed.

Yes, it is not only a nice response, but an honest, insightful and compassionate one.  The writer has put their finger on what I think is probably the primary damage most asexuals grow up with: In a world where everyone seems obsessed with sex, where there seems to be absolutely nowhere to turn and no one to look to if you’re not, the almost inescapable conclusion (typically reinforced by the people around you if you seek advice from friends) is that you must be broken.

(And let me tell you, going through life with every movie, book, TV show, news article and poster ad—not to mention friends and family—telling you basically, “But you should want to bang this hot person right here!” starts feeling pretty rapey after a while.)

Stumbling across a small article in a random magazine that says, “Have you considered that maybe you’re not broken?  There are other people like you.  Look, there’s even a name for it” is…holy shit.

Something that literally changed my life was working with a friend on a coding thing. He was helping me create an auto rig script and was trying to explain something to me but his words were just turning into static in my brain. I was tired and confused and there was so many new concepts happening.

I could feel myself working toward a crying meltdown and was getting preemptively ashamed of what was about to happen when he said, “Hey, are you someone who benefits from breaks?”

It broke me.

Did I benefit from breaks? I didn’t know. I’d never taken them.

When a problem frustrated or upset me I just gritted my teeth and plowed through the emotional distress because eventually if you batter and flail at something long enough you figure it out. So what if you get bruised on the way.

I viscerally remembered in that moment being forced to sit at the table late into the night with my dad screaming at me, trying to understand math. I remembered taking that with me into adulthood and having breakdowns every week trying to understand coding. I could have taken a break? Would it help? I didn’t know! I’d never taken one!

“Yes,” I told him. We paused our call. I ate lunch. I focused on other stuff for half an hour. I came back in a significantly better state of mind, and the thing he’d been trying to explain had been gently cooking in the back of my head and seemed easier to understand.

Now when I find myself gritting my teeth at problems I can hear his gentle voice asking if I benefit from breaks. Yes, dear god, yes why did I never get taught breaks? Why was the only way I knew to keep suffering until something worked?

I was relating to this same friend recently my roadtrip to the redwoods with my wife. “We stopped every hour or so to get out and stretch our legs and switch drivers. It was really nice. When I was a kid we’d just drive twelve hours straight and not stop for anything, just gas. We’d eat in the car and power through.”

He gave a wry smile, immediately connecting the mindset of my parents on a road trip to what they’d instilled in me about brute forcing through discomfort. “Do you benefit from breaks?” he echoed, drawing my attention to it, making me smile with the same sad acknowledgement.

Take breaks. You’re allowed. You don’t have to slam into problems over and over and over, let yourself rest. It will get easier. Take. Breaks.

Also. Treat fat people with respect or die by my blade.

Very important addition.

pigeon friends :)

Pretty!!💕💕

@_merilver_

true story

i love how sometimes leucistic animals become the most unidentifiable creature possible and on the other end sometimes they exemplify all of that animal’s traits even more somehow

so for example

^ leucistic song sparrow. wtf are you. You are a little white bird

^ leucistic white loon. this resonates in my soul as a loon, but New Somehow

The European Robin is a good example for the first category. Sure, they have a kind of distinctive shape and behavior, but their most noticeable trait is their red throat and chest.

Oh that's a tumbler or roller pigeon! They're bred to do this! It's believed that the original inclination to tumble in the air was a tactic to avoid being caught by flying predators, then this inclination was bred in favor of doing it more. Some breeds can also fly normally for hours as well, and the most sound breeds are those that can make safe landings still. There's whole shows and competitions around tumbler pigeons!

There's more unsound breeds of course as well, but this one clearly has good control of its flight and landing. Well done pigeon!

I LOVE SCIENCE TUMBLR

thanks for telling us more about it!

me whenever anybody says that they like me/that i’m their friend

In tears

Proud of them. They're finding so so many sticks. They are the best ever at finding sticks. They're like stick magnets.

Cigarettes give you cancer, alcohol gives you cancer….. what’s next? the fire retardant in my ceiling that I like to inhale for good luck???

cocked that up. they're way too small